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. f:— -r. Tr->-< ^f ^niAi 



Wtitiierfiiltp of Wisitowiin 



^^ " ' -♦ - -'•— *- ' ■ ., ' . ' 




THE 

THREE PERIIiS OF WOMAN: 



A SERIES OF 



DOMESTIC SCOTTISH TALES. 



-^' 



%f 



EDINBURGH : 
PRfNTED BY JAMES BALLANTYNE dt CO. 



THE 



THREE PERILS OF WOMAN ; 

OB, 

A SERIS8 OF 

DOMESTIC SCOTTISH TALES. 



By JAMES HOGG, 

AUTHOR OF ^^ THE THREE PERILS OF MAN/' 

*' queen's wake/' &C &C. 



IN THREE VOLUMES. 
VOL. I. 



ThA fiunly sit beside the Uaie, 
But O, a seat is empty now ! 

John Gibson. 



LONDON : 

LONGMAN, HUaST, HESS, ORMB, BBOWN, AND GREEN, 
PATERNOSTER-ROW. 



1823. 



h b o )i O O 



C< 



1^ 



TO 

JOHN GIBSON LOCKHART, Esq. 

ADVOCATE, 

THIS WORK 



N. IS BESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED 



\ 

V 



BY 
HIS AFFECTIONATE AND SINCERE FRIEND, 

THE AUTHOR. 



VOL. I. 



THE 



THREE PERILS OF WOMAN. 
PERIL FIRST. 



CIRCLE FIRST. 

** I FEA& I am in love,'' said Gatty Bell, 
as she first awakened in her solitary bed in 
tbe garret room of her Other's &rm>*hou8& 
^ And what a business I am like to have 
of it ! I have had such a night dream dream- 
ing, and all about one perscm ; and now I 
sbaQ^have such a day thinking and think- 
ing, and all about the same person* But I 

VOL, I. A 



2 THE THAteM: PfeUlLS 

will not mention his tief&it ^m^ik bdr'mymU^ 
for it is a shame and a disgrace for one (tf 
my age to fall in lore, and of her own a^ 
cord too. I will set my face against it. -My 
resolution k taken. I will not fall in lo^ 
in any such way/' 

Catty sprung from herbed, as li^tiif is 
a kid leaping from its lair on the shelf <yf 
the rock. There was a little bright imt^ 
ror, fourteen inches by ten, that hung <m 
the wall at the side of her gable window, 
but Gatty ma4e a rule of never looking 
into this glass on a morning till once*%lie 
had said a short prayer, washed her hands 
and face, and put on her clothes ; then sh^ 
turned to her mirr(»r to put her exube- 
rant locks under some restraint for the day. 
But th^t morning, being newly awa&dbed 
out of a loycHclream, and angry with herself 
&r having indulged in sudi a dream^ ^ite 
sprung from her couch, and witiiout liikirk- 
ing what she was about, went straight tip, 
leaned both her spread hands dn the diiissfr- 
ing-^tible, and looked into the mirrar. Her 
pretty muslin night-cap had oome all romid 



tiH»iidrs>4e,'aii4 h«mg \mmght hec- redone 
d&Wfy* of fair hair aside with it, her left 
dbedc and eye w^e completely shaded with 
ihtfse ; while the right eheek, which was left 
hsffb and exppfied, was flushed, and nearly of 
the colour of the damask rose. At the same 
tvM^rhesi eyes, or at least the one that was 
^b]«> ware heavy and swollen, and but 
half awafce. '^ A pretty %are to be in 
los¥^ truly!" said she, and turned away 
&om the glass with a smile so lovely, that 
it was like a blink of the sun through the 
iHfwdiag clouds of the morning. 

Gatty drew on her worsted stockings* as 
white as 'the lamb from whose back they 
had been originally shorn, flung her snowy 
vefl ov^ her youthful and sylphrlike form, 
and wepjtaway, as it were mechanically, 40 
an old settee that stood in a comer, where 
die had.hf^P accustf(Hned for a number of 
yenr^ to .kneel every morning and say. her 
^yers* But that morning A^a^tha stood 
atm: mik appiM:#n)t hesttation for a conifer- 
.^ fm^9 an4 4id npt^kne^l, as .she y^m 
?fi»twcc*' J pfm^^.lfXm »W tp^y;%;5aid 



4 THE ^t^lrme i^eeils 

topped fmm- her ^^. »/ i 'uU 

' gl^i9atfdo>v^^t^s]A«<ifherU 
continued gobbing, — very sligbtly, and'^ifi 
softly, itis trae,-^but%itfll sbe^^ettlddotre- 
Irain from it, and ab^ays now and ^t|§ritiiie 
thrust her hair up frrai her eye in ben^th 
her oblique cap, until her head appeared 
quite deformed ivith a great protubanoitie 
on the one side. ^ It is not yet my acMts- 
tomed time of rising,'* said Gatty again to 
herself. ** I will examine myself widi re- 
gard to these feelings, that: as^ as Istiaiige 
as they are new to my heart.** ' ^ 

** What then is the matter witfa^ fm^ 
naughty Agatha, that you cannot prayiK> 
y^ur Maker this morning, as you hare lotf^ 
"been wont to do, and that with so mHch>dft. 
light?" 

*' Becatise I am ashaitted of the thoughts 
and.' feelings of my heart this uMNming; 4Wd 
I never was so bc^nre/' , . w 

^ And because you are asfaaated affom 
thoughts,* do you ther^re propose to^aet 
up a state of independence of your Creator, 



Him ? If you think it (sinful AQ4<s^m^ful1t9 
l»iii lav^^ ieaiiMt<yQ«; psay l^t you may 

•:n^;iNbj^(^ dei««e! lomnot pray fox 
4l»t wdtber.'' ./ 

fi: '^Tkfia cwBQt ycfu. pray that yon jmj 
teicr^'TOAh aU your heai?t, wd be beloved 

^P>i^ Oh I no^ »0y ao, no ! I would.not pray 
jdiiit for the whole. world ;. it ia ao home a 
-tlmifit*. aiad eomea ao near one'a heaii;^ it 
iMlitf.be v^ bad. .My dear, parents mid 
my paator. have, alwaya taught m^ the lead* 
Mg duty oC 9«l£4»ial ; to pray for such 
itmffi u those womld be any thing but 
5lietf-4eniaL To lore with alLimji hc^axt, 
.ftlid httheSmt^ a^wt! Oh I ^goo^ffass, no. 
I cannot, cannot mk vadk a thing as ithat ! 
;»Ii:aai tiling at least J £ear» it.ia wrwg, vary 
Imwn^ but-^ — 7*1 would not care to try." 

Gatty kneeled in hear wonted place, aqd 

\mUi her pcaymrp with ft &rve&ey and a de* 

Yotioa towiuohaabe had seldom before at« 



6 THE^i«aitfte tmuLs 

tainedt hja a(b^iii«itbe» prsljred' tiisdbadie 
might bvb or itot l<^e5 but only that^fite 
might bie (>rd(seirved ftditi dU tdn aiidtcfsii*- 
ation, and never left to follow die diotatw 
of her own>oorrupt heart. * Afiierthitt dife 
arose, strengthened and comforted, aadifin^ 
ly resolved never to object her heart to'tfae 
fibackles of love, till she should arrive at^ldle 
years of discretion and experience ; tiH fihe 
could do so without being ashamedof ittd her 
own heart, or of disclosing it to her pare&ts, 
which was far from being the case at thajt 
present time. She trembled at the rery 
thoughts of it ; regarding it as somethiiig 
In itself sinful, and teiiduig to wean her 
from the thoughts and seirvices of hdr 
Maker. 

With a heart lightened of its load, and 
naturally frill of gaiety and joy, she dressed 
herself with neatness and dqgance ; and as 
she looked in her mirror for the last time 
before gobg dofvm stairs, she coidd not hdp 
remarking, that it was a pity these hare 
tfaougbtS' wa» sinfril ones,: lor tbu^'hsid a 



.Q9 mmuiiis,. T 

jdid theoemplexii>iL She skipped 4owa Imt 
^lk^g&ixet;ata»f at thre(^l9^s; it had aL 
wosys taken her four when she and her hro* 
tfer Jiosepk- were wont to do itiat pky. But 
dw^as/roflolval to have a ^eat deal of con-* 
TersatioBi wilh her utirse about love that 
dttjr^ for <8he had oeitfaer sister nor Mead to 
lAam, she could uabosom her thoughts, hut 
to Mrs Johnson she could do so with the 
greatest freedom* 

. "lliere was no one in the parlour beside 
her niurse, when Gatty went in, save h^ 
brother Jo<^ who was sitting at a bye-table, 
busily^ engaged arranging some fiishii^ 
tackle. ^^ Good moaming to you, dear nurs^ 
and to you, too, brother Josey. How:l9 
lay In-afv^ sweet, aidiive yousig sportiBXnan 
this morning ?" 

< ** Get you gone, sister Gatty« Yoii teaze 
me past' all endurance. I won't be eavessed 
dMti¥ay by a gkL It ia enoygh to maj&e 
adiamed.^ 
^isNuwe, ^d yiou ever hear suah imp»- 



8 ra^tjsmm9UMs 

timiice? .GiviQ m^^^ ]d8% md J wiUv^iB 
you what I think of you." . , 

. « There then,— what da yom ;thiEttk(T9f 
mr . . ; 

'' That you are m inmSenile pc^ff 
with these college airs of yours; — ^with ry^ppr 
stays and your hracers; your q^uips.anif 
your quibbles ; your stardbi ai^d, y^W^s^H^ 
CO. Oh, how I do despij^ a d^ndSrierlte- 
gianr ,. , ., • ;. 

'' Not aU the dandy eolI^g^n(k ^m 
Gatty, or there he som^ that see not arigJM^ 
or aay not what is true." ,, . 

. '' Oh ! O dear me ! what does the gossjp 
mean ? I won't speak another w^rd^to .hipi, 
nor to one who dares make an insmuatian 
that I ev#r looked with a fiivouraUe eye 
on any young gentLeman, far; less a pup|^ 
from the college." . : w.. 

^ '* Pshaw, sister Gat! You ^putst- ntt 
idiink that everybody is hoo4-winkc4 <v 
hlind*£olde4».be(B$(useyoa would have thetti 
pp. ShaU I toU^yi^u what ,1 havQ bbai^ 
5(iying Botfciipg a|b>9»t v^^ Iflwtversiaw?" « 
;\'^ rii h^ar pQf^ of your coU^ g|p<ssi]^ 



OP WOMAN. '9 

Hig. ' yi>u Bik over ^our ity butt^*ini& 
eheese and Bt$h porter at eleven 'at night, 
and itaiirk ilid talk of tiie fevonrs and af- 
fections of the Misses of your native pa- 
riilies. Bd^you think I wotild listen to 
sojch effirvetfeences of Aiming vanity ?-i- 
Bleariragrsi^ I want to speak with you in 
ay attic chfimher.'* \ . 

The gMd tiurse laid aside her work, and 
followed her young mistress up stairs. Mas- 
ter 'Joseph looked after his sister, and broke 
out with a -loud provoking laugh. ** Go 
your ways/' said he to himself, taking up 
ili^w^his m(nttow tackle, hung on three neat 
MKi^ swii^, and surveying it veith detigfat 
cotaf}siktietf,--H^ Go your ways, Miss ; 1 shall 
hbve ^eace and leisure to sort my lisbing 
aypanlui. This^ I think; w&f make them 
eome bounding from the gullets of Garvald. 
And thelBe flies of iht Taia»ch wing I am 
^ inqmfiieiieB to pr6ve; The krge^ toch 
tMists are naid to have actual^ a passion 
fttf^ilfem I a x^a^, a something far beyond 
a vtMwaoiis a^^etKe. itr bi k pity one can- 
mlMKlit^wo baskets on faia baok» with 



10 THE ^THl^e ^^RILS 

such diances hefowiAta. Skiter Gait i^eetns 
on het high hovse to-day/ but I would m- 
thet offend any body serioulily than heri ftr 
I like her better than I want her to know.** 

When Misi^ Gatty and ?her nutse reach- 
ed the little attic chambeif; the fimner eager^ 
ly inquired what Ae nurse conceived t6l)e 
the stripling's meaning in the insinuatibus 
he had advanced? The none could not 
tell. Brothers often heard things among 
their acquaintances, that were kept close 
from the ears of parents and nurses. He 
seemed to hint, as she thought, that Miss 
Gatty had exhibited symptoms of love fer 
some young gentleman. She could not tdl 
at all what was his meaning, but feared he 
had some foundation for what he said. 

** What !'* said Gatty, ** do you suppose 
1 would be so thoughtless, and so foolish, as 
to fall in love with any young man ? Would 
it not be a shame and a disgrace for one of 
my age to fall in love ?" 

" Certainly it would, Mifis,'' said the 
nurse. <^'Mt then! many have &lien in 
love at the same age, and even -earlier/' 



. f . f.^tOh no. !"f ve*dai«ea GskHy* " t hope, 
4^ therfeDUoWf'ftnd 4elicacy.(«f ^wir sex, th^ 
tiling is not true ! Pray, nurse, ean I be in 
ImB^f^vd noi IqabDw it ?" 
,•(. « I doB't knowjthat," said she. f Yo^ 
may be in bve, and persuade yourself that 
yeW^ie not so ; but you oaonot be in love 
^tfaout mspodang it.'' 

*[ Dear nwse, how does one know if she 
iaxeally in love ?" said Gatty. 

^^ Ah ! dearest child, it is too easy to 
know that] By thisi token shall you know 
it,; that you think of nothiiig but the belo- 
ved olgect, whether by night or by d^y, 
Wakifig \(« sleeping, alone or in company. 
You, measure and estimate all others ae» 
cording a& they approximate to the proporu 
tiocis of bis persou, or qualities of liis mind. 
You Jkmg ineessautly to be near him, ^d 
to feast your eyes on his looks and his pei:«> 
fcteliam ; y^t;^ when, be approaches your per- 
son, you feel a desire ^o repulse him so ir* 
resistive, that it iB almost ten to one you 
lieha^' lauoily, if rfiot ruddy t#, him." 



12 THE .VWMOSfrVWBlLS 

passion that must be4t'Deai3eafa?&ittae^^Mn^ 
you €verw lore ?^ ^ . i n ; ; - 

'' O fie, my loYed Gkitty r bMr.Ncanf jvnt 
iak that foestion ? Bo 71m not bumtihall 
Iniursed yon at my breast?* • « ; a f .ji 

'^ I erave yoiurpMdoB, dearinuses ti^ 
eaq^iTessionc^yow'sspeaksfvolwilen Ifieimr 
ki all my life thoifl^hfr of it iMfive^ bdt 1 
eannot promise nerei: to ihiixk <itf itagainJi 

^Mine wasahard andacrad fiite^: Let no 
maid after me, withoufc long asid thonaigb 
acqaaiatance, trust the pn^tmtalmKraf iii 
kwrer.*^ w 

' ^^ I wotader who smdeali tU saiqpdboi^ 
low, nurse?** ' ri - ; 

' ^ What a ridiculoHs matter t» wonder at"* 

^^ Because th^ aise.aH trae, itwosld]^ 
]^r,inwhat they yinn rcfoidiBg tbecniel* 
ty of man,** . , , * 

' ^ Not one of them iDomes half wajr up to 
l^etrc^in their deseiiptions of man^scrael^ 

'^ Ok dear^'uvliati^dMiBiag ereittniea thi^ 



mMtihab iar it'sol a ccyiag mxtfia fall in 
Iwe witLanif of ^m.?'' ^ 

** i'erhaps I am singular in oafjr opiBioii^ 
Uttdi perkaf 1 msfhe^vmfng ; but it is ftcm 
Jtaiid-eoaied eotperbnet thati harre tmbilied 
it, and I truly think ^at ne^ wamitet ought 
Ikadbe in^L loverwith a maa until onoe she is 
msBMBi iso^ham, and th^n let iier fero.ivitfa 
liU: h^r wai^aiid: mtnd. All youth&l love is 
nati«Riiy ismful, but imprudenliiiil^efai^bp 
est d^ree ; and beaidesy it is Ifte Jonah's 

I ^Qw4 i^ gvoa^a up in a nighty and peiiibea 
pi%mi^^ leaving de hapfesa babig.that 
trusted in a shelter under its delidous &&^ 
age*l|R>^V9niidi0dne8s iEUid deqpani Oddaxtest 
Gatty, as you love virtue, as you love you9* 
sei^ y<tanr parents, and your Gk^ never yield 
to the giddy paaabn of youthlul love l^-f^B^t 
pmi mother calls &rx&eiJ»ot}gk tliOiidio^ 
house, r must b^one.'* 
i Wben'/Qatty^waa laft ahmei^ she hung 
imm her head» and sat &r.a^8paee the very 
portrait of eontanphition ; then, aifter a long^ 
dfiiwn •aighi^idiOD.aaid'ttt^h»seIf.mi^ whisper, 

t !' Then it is a melandholy ftot, that I po^ 



14 THE ^rmam bbkils 

i»ttYely am in. love ! Wbatr^8ay$ tme H^llfi 
kmowd 'the world wfiB,?'-^' By this tofaea 
flhuU you kaow it, that you thiuk of nothio^ 
but ithe bdkyved object by mght or by dqr^ 
waking or sleeping, aloue or in compaBy/ 
That's terrible! Svire you 4re not in that 
state, Gatty? What say you to it? Aut* 
mmt. Guilty. Agam, ^ You meiasure all ex** 
eettencies by his person and qualities.' Sure 
it is impossible you can do that ? Answer 
in coQseienoe* 

^^ I am afi:aid I cannot plead off. ^ 

^ You long and desire to look on bim»« yet 

shrink from his approach, and repulse lam/ 

^* Oh, dear me, guilty again ! Guilty^ 

gKflty i Nothing pan be more aconrdii^ to 

truth. 

' ^ So, here am I, only e^hteen years of 
a^ ^t in April, and have already been 
oireistepping the sacred boisbnds of virgin de« 
oootta,' andsimning against my parents, and 
agaiaat 'Heaven, which is fiir worse, by givf 
iHg^my^heairt^beferfe it was asked ! Such m^ 
dulgenes oantkadtonothing good } ^ and as I 
am determined they shall lead me to nothing 



fill '1 1l{»eby €tig^i tbd whole fofiee aftd vi^ 
gis^of ttiy mind to c^lppose them. Henoe* 
ftlrth my fae^Tt shall remain my 0W11 until I 
afti 'm^fried^ and thefl I i^ill love. Oh how 
l^WAl Imb <^en ! What a shame for me to 
fifii'ln love with a yonng man ! And then fox 
oiyhrother and all the young dandies that 
w^e^d'atCiiddie's wedding to note it ! «ad 
fiil^'that young Boroland, as he is called^ to 
lii^te It' himself! Oh me ! how ean I eireh 
whisper his name^ or his absurd Highland 
USe. It is very shocking ; when perhaps he 
hfti» b^ft bragging among his associates of 
my^^rtiafUty for him. Ofa^ dear me ! I am 
viy badly off.*' 

• '**^Certainly you aire, poor Gatty, wl» 
would not pity you." 

The family group assemUed at their 
br^kfast as usual. Old Daniel Bell talked 
about markets, imd his pastoral vocations ) 
Mrs^ B^U knew but little of these matters, 
yet^ good woman, she pretended te know a 
grtet de^l, and to give her husbwd most 
sipi^M iBidmes^ which' leomdames weie not 



1$ THE tfiE££ P£RILS 

received m&i all defereBeeW4iis^paK;^^dk', 
at least, i^t i^^Mf 8b totfMH 4f iljesm- 
eeiity wi^ whic^ tbey were" efl^^ MVs 
Bell and the nurse were eecaisi6^ally ^^i. 
ehas^ng little sentefioes abctottile^libuse- 
hoM M&rs, aEnd Agalba and Jeseph were 
frowning, and cutting $t each tDther witbr 
Avp and bitter moids ; » that that niom* 
iag old Daniel had £i»r a while no one 1^ 
listen to his grievances with regard to iht 
great depression in the prices of sfaeejl and 
wool. It is true, he held them all bound to 
listen, every one of them, aiid at all times; 
but the attention he required was of a ver5F 
easy nature ; a slight nod, or a h^» of mh 
vflini, was all that was adi^ed, and all tl«it 
wasofflered^excepting fromhiswortby spouse^* 
who always assisted with her advices. 
J ^^ I have said it afore this^ and I'll say it 
again^" said Dabiel^ '' tibat it's nae matter 
an the Society were at the deevil, nd ita 
premiisns baith. The way that my t(M^ 
JDuff baa been tightlified thens simva that 
tito bale fmrterMty'an^wortb a-dis»sn« ^Naw 



^nm^'mm^v*^ ' it 

B»t^|^^Xspl4f)lwW for ilftjr pwdt fitar&ig 
qpro' ^liwi.th^ wan their niff-aafii o' me- 

r^ ffM^l^^f /that's agtaaishiBg; 4id you ao« 
f;w% mE a sh^lej^eep &c fifty pcwids?''' 
9fp^ the good dame. 

.n^^ JLfdi4 that, hinney ; hut then it was » 
toop^ye maun recoUept^ and nae ^cosamoai 

^' A toop ! What do you mean hy a *oop ?** 
**i Whfct do I mean hy a toop ! Heaicfc 
effMNMRjuihody the like o' that ? ^Bxve ye 
hew a ifiuwer's wtfe these IsmHaa^twrtnty 
y^ani^vattd din»a ken what a toop means? 
AiiOppyiB Just a male-shaep» Mni^. A toofiN 
aadr# ewe are exactly the same in a faisnlt 
as a man ^usid a woman are in. aoeiefy/' '. 

•^ Well, Mr Ben, I conceived ifcso. Bat 
nught you not as easily denoniinate theani«< 
laal ajiSRU, as he is called in Scrqitinre, mMt 
t^nrevny^hody would understand you ?^ \ 
TiffiAmBOi! m snuff o'tofaacccr! Na»na,:it!sL 
aKjincQ^nunstausiphish name that &r acii 
bonny dooce-looking animal as Duff." 



18 THE T^m^ B^ILS 

" A* all j^vettts,. Mx,,13^Jb cffof^te^ i^; 
ft XKiore p09|^c.uame than tupe«" 

^' It'6 no tupe» hinney/ nor ,tup^ i^or|t^ 
nor ram ; nor ony q' thae dirty qittit words ; 
it's just pldin downright toop, thq anld Sco^ 
word, and tho aiild Scots way o' saying it J' 

'^ Well, my dear, it makes little diJBBsr- 
ence the name ; but since it is a fact that 
you can breed a tupe, as you call it ^" 

" I never ca'd it sic a name in my life.'* 

** To the value, I say, of fifty pounds, 
why not keep all your sheep tupes ?" 
: '^ Ay, it's very like a woman's question. 
What thedeevil wad I do wi' them, think 
ye?" 

' ^ Why, seH them for fifty pounds apiece ; 
you do not make as much of those you have, 
nor perhaps more than a hundredth part of 
that sum." 

"Why, mistress, ilie objection's very easily 
miswered, to one that miderstands it ; but 
really it is sae absurd^ it winna bide tanking 
about. . When I rear fifty toops, ae fiirmer 
wants ane,.aiid loiother farmer wants -twa or 
three, maybo^ ^r the sake of my breed* avd 



* Smifmy^vreA ; btit an* I wer^ td 
breed fifty s6lHes, #hefe*d6 ye think I conM 

: ^^i^'J^Qjyi^orM merely circijlate wider, Mr 
^Bl; therfe are plenty of gentlemen and 
f^^ers in Britain and Ireland who want 
an improved breed of sheep ; and supposing 
they did not bring all fifty pounds each, say 
that a part of them brought only forty pounds 
a-head, I conceive your profits would be im- 
mense. Gracious heaven, Mr Bell ! fifty 
scores of tupesy at fifty pounds each, would 
be no less than fifty thousand pounds a^ 
)near> 

** Odds curses, woman, dinna drive a bo* 
dy ihkd wi* your ridiculous calculations ! It 
Is as absurd for you presuming to gie me in- 
structions in sheep-farming, as if I were to 
set up my birse, and tell the king how to 
govern.*' 

** I Want only dispassionate reasoning, Mr 
9^11 ; and I do not find that you have ad- 
Vteced any Reasonable objections to my the- 
'ftr^?' From your own words, as well as firom 
^!B^ ap|]i6intiAents of naMe, I comdive yoitts 



^ THE -f flit^^piiiiLS 

td be aii^ibttiAl' atfd tinniatiiral sysfefe W 
AiBiiiljj. I Vdtild not irisiist oii yoiir keejjW 
iiig the xvhole'of yotff istock naaflfes, oir ttipfe*/ 
as ydu call them, Btit ycfu ot^ht all all evintti 
to keep the 6tie-h^lf^of them'itacb, as'thg 
^se Creator of both men and sheejp hal^'^ 
ddiedly intended thexn to be kept, TheW^ 
Ibre I say, and maintain it, that ydtifr sfi^ 
Jtem of keieping three thousand female shee^,' 
and only fifty males, is an unnatural way of 
fdrmihg. It would be mueh more seeml^ 
and profitable that every ewe should hav9 
her own tupe, and every tupe his own ewe.** 
** I hope, mistress, ye're no gaiin tof br*^ 
^at on me for Scripture? It U somewlfSf 
like it, I confess, but it is only a pataplnr^M^ 
yeH find; yet, if it had, Iwad hae gaett 
eontrair to it, for it is absurd' nonsense: 
Cotne, come, let us hear nae mair about a 
toop-stock. I like weel enough to hear ye 
sij^eak, but only when ye ken what ye'if* 
speaking about.^ — ^What ar^ ye gaun to sa^ 
about putting this lasde into Edinburgh ?** 
^*^ Indeed, Mr Bell, I am gbi&g to say 
wliati have saifi always, ihat she wiH leahi 



¥Pto>9|e fflCiFy^ttfis luspffj, and estimable 

a&^t^ajtJjoq^^i^ s^l the saoiiey expended 

qii.4i^ boi^dgQ^'ScboQl ed^catioa a$ so miu^ 

^Iqofwai ioiio. th^ma. I have laid the calcu* 

lll^Bs before -goa, what it would take to 

j^b^r toa£qrst^ate faoording^ school, even 

^dheii^g to the most rigid economy, and 

Wist say it appears to me a complete i^ 

|)Ofi|tion« Wehave won our money too ha^- 

Igr to thtow it aii^ay in the attainment of a 

fi»r supiexfieial airs." ... 

Z^;! w:»^na ; 6(mtradict ye tfa€are» mistress, 

fiir what ye have said is not only common 

qense, but good common sense, and bexsomes 

yoa cViuckle better than ini^ting on a stoc^ 

of toops. God bless us ! ^but I hae been 

tibinking and thinking again on the sub* 

ject, and aVmy thoughts come to this con- 

dusion ; she's our. only daughter, and I fear 

that what is hained off her education may 

}f^ ill hained. A bunder pounds ox twa may 

1i^ as weel 19 the bead as the pouch, and 

|rupi to as good ac^unt too^; and granting 

j^a^ tbe^its o' nickyrnaaky'|i)i;Eijg$ th^t tl^ey 
12 



9IS THE THIffiB I^«,ILS 

learn it boardpaigf^ehq^s siXfs^ r9j^|^vi^ arfSiT: 
perfidal nature, I hae suffered a ^ood deatl) 
myself from the want of tlie^ outw^^ 
graces, and I wad rather ware a good deal^ii 
money than my bairn should feel tJbe vfm% 
(f them as often as I haye done. There :^ 
nae man lilsies waux to throw away siUei 
than I do ; and, therefore, what would »you 
think of taking lodgings fox her apd Joe bo^^ 
together ? Nurse would go in and keep tbgni 
perfect and in order, and then. Gatty oou]^ 
attend all her branches of eduoatiou.ky tliQ^ 
h0ur;^ 

" What branches of education do you 
propose for her ?" i 

" I want her to go over her Epglis^ 
French, writing, and arithmetic. I would 
smm^ to have her sitting thrun^ming aQ4 
Imiapiming at a pi^no, at which every tailor's, 
wi^bster% and suitor's daugjiter must now bf 
ap^oftcient ; but I .would delight tp hear h^f 
^ing .^ gopd Soots s^ng to one pi qm natii^^ 
noNB^G^eSt without rising |rom her pilac^;fi|p 
tabi^ wbiQh;! thipk^A thousand tip^^s mig^: 



1ms6 black atd white sticks^ and ftinriBg 
i/eae ibtUa.rw o' great braid beuks. It lookd 
always to me as if the woman wa*e a pert 
of the machine that she is sitting at ; but I 
am determined that my bairn's music shall 
be all inherent, and depend on the tones of 
her own voicq^ of which all; artificial tones 
are but mean imitotions. And then I want 
to have her mistress <^ both thenew and old 
dances. Naebody kens what company ane 
may chance to be in, and a' kinds of awk* 
waidness are grievous and distressing, par^ 
tifeiilariy to those that are forced to witness 
them/' 

• ^ Well, I won't go against you any more 
in this, Mr Bell. I like this last plan of 
yrats much better than a boarding-fichooli 
With honest Mrs Johnson, I eaa trust my 
duldren as wkh myself. Gatty^s education 
W1& be much b^ter, at one third of the ex^ 
pence. And their presence w£Q be a con^ 
stant and eflfeetual check on that bo;^ 
dMMU he incline to any lioentioili^ eosfii^^ 
patt^^i^ gather any wiUiiMgiriklar aasoetttttti; 



24 THE TBftEE PJWILS 

about bim^ to ptey 4» faim^ mi kid Imi 
astray." 

This cmiTenatiaii, or at least the latter 
part of it, proved, in no or^nary degiee, 
interesting to all present ; and what was 
mor« Angular, it proved agreeable to them 
all. Joseph liked much better to live m^ 
Mrs Johnson and his sister, than ivith a 
merc^ary and selfish landlady, who n^ 
only overcharged him for every article of 
diet, but piqued him with her impertineffiee 
beside. Agatha rejoiced in tibe prospect of 
spending a year in the gay dty ; and as for 
the wordiy nurse, her whole delight was in 
attending on her young master and mis- 
tress, and she was proud of the trust repo* 
sed in her* If any of the two last had an* 
otlier motive, it was not even acknowledged 
to her own heart 

Every arrangement was made with all 
eipedition, for the 15th of May was at 
hand, and that was the appointed day fat 
ottr party to leave the substantial maiisioii 
ef Bellsbumfoot, and proceed to Edia* 
fauigh. Many a long and earnest leefcrae 



APJpltideiice^nd efeonomy was* our heroine 
doomed to hear from her aflfectionate mo- 
tMA^ ^t,' ifcs^oM Dailiel had resolved on 
acodlfift^aifflng them, tac^ seeing them fairi 
fcfr fitted in tdwn, his advices were general- 
lfn%y short and good-humoured. But, iii 
oAe instance, he got feiriy into the detail ; 
tnd it' was so original, that I have set the 
liifole string of his injunctions down, 
iu *6iNoW, daughter Gatty," said he, ** ye' 
hue just fdiHf things to learn in Edinburgh' 
^o^no to learn, but to perfect yoursel in:— ^ 
f^ hae to learn to manage your head, your 
band^/ your feet, and your hfeart. Yomf 
kMd will Inquire a little redding up, baith 
Mrtdide and inside. If^s no the bobs and' 
«if6 rails, the ribboni^ and' tb^ rose-knofs, 
iSie gildit kames, and the great toppings o* 
well-sledkit-up hair, that are to stand the 
lest for life; and yet these are a' becoming 
in tiMlt placesL Bu£ theire is something^ 
6is6 fequired. Ye maun learn to think for' 
y»iH<d »^tid ad; foryoorsel, for you canna' 
alnafi htfve your molliev: and me to think 
Mtfor^yM^ Yfirni$(uiifeam« to calculate' 
VOL, I. B 



26 THE tritSaEE PERILS 

and weigh) not only your own acticms; but 
yonr motives of action, as well: as the aetiisM 
andapparentmotives of those with whom yoii 
have to deal ; and stick aye by that, my w^- 
man, of which you are sure you wl\ nwer be 
ashamed^ either in this world, or the dne 
that's to come. But I am growing ower se- 
rious now, and I nerer Mkit sermons mu^kle 
mysel ; therefore, in the management (^your 
feet, I wad advise you to learn a' the reel- 
steps, hornpipe-steps, and f^anspey-flings, 
that have ever been inventit ; and be swe 
to get a' the tirliwhitlies of eoantry-daecei, 
and town-danceSj cost what they like. I 
canna name the sum I wad whiles hae gien 
in my life to hae been master of twa w 
three o' them, especially when I wa« made 
head-manager o' the Dukie's balls. Tba^ 
was my Lady Eskdale and I set up at the 
top o' the dan(^. She got her choice o' tfe 
figure, as they ca'd it, and she made ohoide 
o' the ane that they (»' the Medley, Wed, 
the music strak up wi' a gr^t skreed, ancl 
aff we went> round-abotit and round-about, 
back and forret, s^ing to this ane, and 
setting to the tither, — deil hae me ah I 



OF WOMJOJ. 27 

ken'd a fboir.whexe I wb» gaun ; aedtheare 
was I> flying aod rifiolng like a siairdied 
toop». amd the sweat dsapping aff at the 
stirls of my nose. But it was mair tdirough 
dhaxne than &tigue ; £»-» when^ I heard, the 
yomig gillies laughing at me, I lost a' sense 
and reeoUeetion thither, and just ran looki- 
ing ower my shoulder, to see what my parti- 
aer was> gaon to do neist* Ten shillings 
worth o' dandngy when I was yoimg, wad 
hae set me ahoon a' that; and I am resol- 
ved, afore ye shoidd ever he in sic a predif 
eament, to ware ten times ten on your dan^ 
dsg^ forbye a' that I hae gien already. 

•* K ever ye be spared to be a wife, there 
will mair de^nd on your head than your 
hands ; but yet you are nae the waur o' be- 
ing able to cook your family a neat dinner, 
ai^ make yourseL a new gown at an orra 
time, or a 6ock to a bit wee ane. 

" But now £ox the heart, daughter ; that 
is what requires the maist care, and the 
JMist watching ower of al]^ and there's 
sought adae that I am sae unqualified to 



28 THE THREE PERILS 

gie an advice in. Keep it aye free o' malice, 
rancour, and deceit ; and as to the forming 
of ony improper connections, or youthful 
partialities with individuals of the other 
sex, it is sae dangerous at your time o' life, 
that no advice nor guardianship can coun- 
tervail. I maun therefore leave it entirely 
to your own discretion and good sense. 

" I might have mentioned the manage- 
ment of the tongue, as another, and a se- 
parate point of attention ; hut it is a mere 
machine, and acts only in subordination to 
the head and the heart ; if these are kept 
in proper order, the other winna rin far 
wrang. But dinna be ower the matter 
punctual about catching the snappy Eng- 
lish pronounciation, in preference to our 
own good, full, doric tongue, as the mini- 
ster ca's it. It looks rather affected in a 
country girl to be always snap snapping 
at the English, and at the same time pop- 
ping in an auld Scots phrase that she learn- 
ed in the nursery, for it is impossible to get 
quit 0* them. I ken, when I used to be at 



or WOMAN. 29 

the Duke's table^ or at Lady Eskdale's 
parties, I always made a bold push at the 
English ; but, in spite of a' I could do, the 
Soots was aye ready at my tongue-roots, 
and the consequence was, that mine turned 
out a language that was neither the one 
nor the other. But mind aye this, my 
woman, — ^that good sense is weelfaurd and 
becoming, in whatever dialect it be spo- 
ken ; and ane's mother-tongue suits always 
the lips of either a bonny lass or an auld 
earl the best And mair than that, the 
braid Scots was never in sic repute sin' the 
days of Davie Lindsey, thanks to my good 
Mend Wattie Scott, — I may weel ca' him 
sae, for his fsitber was my father's law-ware, 
and mony a sound advice he gae him." 

** Dear father, will I ever see this Wal- 
ter Scott in Edinburgh ?" 

"How can I tell ye that, daughter ? If 
ever you come near where he is, you will see 
him. He is as weel to be seen as other fo'k, 
though, perhaps, no just sae often. You 
can see him every day from the gallery of 
the Parliament-House; and I'll tell you 



80 THE THKEE PERILS 

how ye will ken him ^-*-I0^ic into the toxmd 
pew dose in before the tords, and you will 
see three or four black-gowns sitting roimd 
a table ; and amang them, if ye see a caci 
that sits always with his right 'fidiOQldef to 
you, with hair of a pale silver grey» a head 
like a tower, braid shouldars, and long 
shaggy e'e-brees — ^the very picture of an 
auld, gruff Border Baron, — that's Wattie 
Scott God bless us ! when I saw him first 
at his grandfather's ha,' he was a bit hempy 
caUant, wi' bare 1^^ and the.fareeks a' torn 
off him wi' climbing the linns and the trees 
for the nests o' corbie-craws and huntings 
hawks. And ihen he was so sanguine^ ihat 
he was finding them every day ; but theie 
was ane o' his hunting'^hawks turned out a 
howlet, and another o' them a eushat-dow. 
And as for his ravens, his grandfather told 
old Wanchope out of his own mouthy that 
^as for his Wat's grand ravens, there was 
never ane o' them got aboon the rank of ^ 
decent respectable hoody*craw.' But these 
sanguine, keen-edged chaps are the lads for 
making. some figure in Hfe, fin: they set out 



OF WOMAN. 31 

d^tenaoiiied eitha: to make a spoon or spill 
a hom^ And ye see, though Wat, when he 
was yon^g^ clamb mony a tree in vain, and 
rave a' his breeks into the bargain, he con- 
tinued elimbiog on, till he found a nest wi' 
gulden ^gs at the last. Weel, God bless 
him ! he's turned out an honour to Scot- 
land," 

** lam a&aid there will be something so 
v^ry gruff about him ! But I would like so 
wdl to see him^ and hear him speak." 
. ** I see no chance you have for that, 
diu:^hter, unless you just go md introduce 
ymsrsei£. Ring the bell at the door, and 
wbep a powdered lackie comes out, tell him 
yga are the la£|s o' Bellsbumfoot, and that 
you have some business with his master, 
Wjho» I dare say, will now and then get an 
introduetipn that he will think as little o\ 
For my part, I will not introduce you ; for 
I dare say he is pestered to death wi' in-* 
troductions of sentimental misses, would- 
b|B poets, and puppy nobility and gentry. 
There is just one thing I have long bem 
linking of applying to him for, and t]|iat 



32 TH£ THBEE PERILS 

is, to get me a royal patent for the breed o^ 
toops." 

A great deal of desultory conversation 
about Edinburgh occurred every day until 
the 15th of May. Mrs Bell, besides many 
wholesome advices to her children, laid pri« 
vate injunctions on the nurse to look strict- 
ly after their morals, and to correspond with 
her privately, giving her an account of every 
thing that happened. The great, the im* 
portant day at length arrived, on which ^ 
the seats of the Pringleton fly were enga* 
ged for .a fortnight previous, and, after the 
usual routine of stage-coach delights, our 
party arrived safely in Prince's Street, in 
the afternoon. The next morning Daniel 
set out in search of lodgings, and the v^: 
first board that he saw out, he went up 
stairs to make inquiries, and view the pre- 
mises ; and, though he lost the reckoning of 
a story, and went into a different one from 
that he intended, he bargained with the 
landlady, Mrs M^Grinder, for the whole 
flat that he went first into, at twenty-five 
shillings the week, both parties free at the 



OF WOMAN. 3S 

enS of every fortnight. They took posses- 
sion that same day, for fear of the expenses 
of the hotel ; and then Daniel set busily 
about procuring the best niasters for his 
daughter. In these excursions; the most 
curious scenes imaginable occurred ; for he 
would not engage a singing-master till he 
heard them all sing whose names were men- 
tioned to him as professors of that art, nor 
yet a dancing-master, until he had seen 
ftem all dance. In the latter art, he chose 
a Mr Dunn,whose manners, he said, pleased 
him best, as well as his execution ; and as 
a singer, he chose Mr Templeton, because 
his songs came nearest to the simplicity of 
those sung by the south-country ewe-milk- 
ers of any he heard in Edinburgh. Mrs 
M*Grinder having recommended him to a 
super-excellent dress-maker, as one best fit- 
ted of any in town to give his daughter les- 
sons, Daniel went straight to her house, 
called, and, without acquainting her with 
his motive or design, asked to see some 
of her work. She handed him a sarsnet 
gown with which she was engaged, on which 
b2 



S4 THE TBAEE PEBILS 

he put <m his spectacles, aacL stretched Ite 
iJireads of the seam by piiUiBg s^arate 
ways* — ^ D— d lang steeks !** said Danid, 
md walked out at the door. 

The first fiiend that called on tbetn in 
their new lodgmgs was no other than the 
accomplished Diannid M^Ion of Borottend^ 
who welcomed them to Edinburgh with 
great affection, lamented that he could nsi 
have Joseph again as lus fdlow^lodger, but 
at the same time manifested his. resolution 
of taking up his wintar residence as near 
them as possible, that he mi^t have as 
much of his young friend's society as his 
ttudies would permit Old Daniel and 
Joseph were both alike delighted with thi^ 
proposal, for the latter had lived with 
M^Ion, at least in the same lodgings, for 
two seasons, and he had been more than a 
brother to him. He had also acconqianied 
Joseph to his father's house at Bellsbum- 
foot, and spent a mont^ with the family^ 
and in country sports, each year, and was a 
favourite with ey^y one about the mansion. 
As for Mrs Johnson, she was pofectly era- 



OF WOMAN. 811 

sed with joy at seeing such a kind, an ele- 
ganty and agreeable acquaintance, so far 
from home. From the very beginning, 
she had shewn a partiality for the youth, 
diat scarcely became a woman of her years 
and discretion to manifest, a partiality .that 
she Qould scarcely herself account for. But 
with Gatty matters seemed quite other- 
wise. She;, indeed, suffered him to take her 
hfind on his first entrance, but to all his 
IfifiA inqyineS; she made answer with mark- 
f4 indifl^enpe, if not rather with disdain.. 
She ret^e4 to a distant seat at the end of 
tli^^fa, leaned her rosy cheek on ;the points 
of h^ thumb and fingers, and assumed a 
lo(^ of cold abstraction, frequently fi^g 
bsir dark blue eyes on a wretched landscape 
that hung in a gilded frame above the 
ehimneyf-piece. He addressed her several 
tiiQ^, as with brotherly concesm and af- 
fection ; but she pretended not even to hear 
him, l^nd» after he had concluded, she would 
onlyjanswer with the chilling monosyllable, 
'' Sir ?" and pretend to waken from her re- 
verie. 



86 THE THREE PERILS 

The young gallant was terribly damped 
by this reception ; his manner altered even 
while he remained in the room, and the 
tones of his voice became so soft and hm 
that they were scarcely audible. Joseph 
alone observed his sister's behaviour to his 
friend, and was irritated at her beyond for- 
bearance, insomuch that he tried to pick a 
quarrel with her off-hand. But neither did 
she hear his bitter accusation. ^^ Is it the 
lilac that you would have me chuse, Mrs 
Johnson ?" said she; "I don't like it.— Bless 
me, what was that teazing boy saying ?" 

M*Ion at length took his leave, and went 
away, accompanied by his young friend Jo- 
seph, who, when they were by themselves, 
spoke full freely of Miss Bell's behaviour. 
She also retired to her chamber on the in-^ 
stant of their departure ; and the first thing 
that she did was to sit down and give vent to 
a flood of tears. " My brother has good right 
to be angry with me," said she to herself; 
" for I have behaved very ill, and made a 
most ungrateful and uncivil return for the 
mostdelicate and kind attentions. But little 



OP WOMAN. ST 

does either he or Boroland wot what sudi a 
bebaviour has cost me. It is from principle 
aione that I am acting ; and from that I 
must act, cost me what it will. O, that I 
could bat regard him with the same indi£- 
ferenoe that I do other yoimg gentlemen, 
then could I enjoy his delightful society 
without alloy, and without weariness ! What 
a shame it is for me to be in love ! A board* 
ing-school girl's love ! The scorn and deri* 
mm of society." 

While she was going on with this pain- 
ful soliloquy, the nurse entered ; and, per- 
ceiving her repressed sobs, inquired anxious- 
ly what was the matter with her ; but, with 
a woman's natural ingenuity, she at length 
confessed, as if it had been wrung from her, 
that it was the thoughts of parting with her 
£ither to-morrow, accompanied with an im- 
pression that they were never to meet again. 
Mrs Johnson rebuked her, and observed, 
with great truth, that if people would make 
themselves unhappy by a contemplation on 
ike bare possibilities of nature, there was no 
more happiness to be enjoyed in this life ; 



S6 THK TSOtSE PERILS 

tint there were too many pamM realities, 
fbr whidi grief was not only natural, but 
commendable^ &r people to tpnnent tbem-* 
selves with the dread of fictitious ones ; and 
that it was both weak and sinful to conjure 
up ideal miseries to embitter the cup of bliss 
that Heaven had poured out for us. Gatty 
acquiesced in the reproof ; said» her feeling 
was one of those paii^ impressions thai; 
came unsought, and would n/ot be expelled 
for a time, and promised to think np more 
of it. 

The murse cpm^mended her resolution.; 
and, to draw her. thoughts to a m<»:e plqa-. 
smt subject, began to talk of their hand* 
simie and accomplished friend, M'lon o^ 
Boroland. 

* Pray, don't talk of him, nurse," md 
Gfttty. ** What a pity Joe has no more 
iiilimate college acquaintances thw he ! 
Don'rt you think he is a very presuming, 
disagreeable young man tibat ?" 

** Astonishing !" said the nurse, .an ex- 
clamation fliat she always used when, she 
thought people unreasoni^ble, ^d alwajs 



or WOMAN. 89 

frlHi ibe same tone. Gatty knew the im* 
pflri; of it well, for to her it spoke ydnines' 
of ]M)Btive coirtradictiim ; aBd she set about 
BQ^ntainiiig her point 

^ Nay, you must excuse me, dear nurse, 
fixr differing from you. I eannot imagine 
howtiiat young gentleman comes to be re- 
garded by you as the pink of all that is 
courteous and amiable, for to me he appeals 
very ^sagreeable— ^rery !" 

" I have not another wo^ ^ say after 
that," said the nurse. " I will not answer 
it^ ^because I know it is not spoken with your 
wonted sincerity. It is easy to know a:ifeot- 
ation from ^mple truth. Who is sa pur* 
bliiid as uot to see how differently you fed 
from what you express ?'' 

Honest Mrs Johnson had nointention 
of insinuating anything by Ihis, than that 
her youngmistresswas capriciously indiaed 
at i^e instant, and had ^qpre&sed herseif 
di&rently from the manner in which sbe 
was sure she must haye £elt But, ^k^ the 
man withithe carbimded nose^wha imagined 
^t every one whom faeh^ard laugh was 



40 THE THREE PERILS 

laughing at him, and kept himself in anger 
and misery all the days of his life by such 
apprehensions — Like him, I say, poor Gatty 
imagined that every body saw and knew she 
was in love, and that the nurse had in the 
present instance accused her of it to her 
face ; so, without deigning any further re-, 
ply, she arose and left the chamber, her 
lovely countenance slightly suffiised over 
with the blush of shame. 

'^ Ajstonishing !" said Mrs Johnson ; and 
putting her hands on her sides, she sat a 
space with her eyes raised in the utmost 
astonishment indeed/ " The nature of my 
dear child seems to have changed with the 
change of air. Within these three mi-' 
nutes have I seen exhibited two traits df 
her character that I never before witness- 
ed. Never before did I catch her sitting 
whining and sobbing by herself; and ne- 
ver before did she ever sail off, and lekve 
me with every mark of displeasure on her 
countenance. She was at the schools of 
Hawick before, and at the boarding-school 
of Carlisle before; and she never wept at 



OF WOMAN. 41 

parting with her father, but seemed to om- 
sider herself as well out of his way. And 
what did I say to aflfront her ? Only that 
she thought not as she spake. I think so 
still ; and that it is impossible for any young 
lady to think unfavourably of M'lon. But 
it seems I must take care how I speak to: 
her in future about young gentlemen* There 
surely must be something very, peculiar, 
about my dear Gatty's disposition. I wa& 
brought up in a circle greatly superior to. 
that in which she moves, which she little 
wots of; and in the first company I ever 
saw, Boroland would have been an acquis 
sition, and his favour prized by our sex ; 
therefore, I cannot give her credit for her 
opinion, knowing that it must be a pre- 
tence." 

On Friday the 19 th, old Daniel had se- 
cured himself a seat in, the Fringl^on fly, 
impatient to get back to his improved br^' 
of tups ; for he had nine of Duff's sons, six 
score of his daughters, and about three hun- 
dred of his grandchildren to look after, be-; 
sides some thousands of the lineal descei^- 



4i THE THBE£ PERILS 

a»ts: o£ Matthew and Charlie, tW0 form^ 
feTOurites^ On the Thursdays M*Ioh dined 
with the family group.; aud a& Daniel got 
cheery over his glass^ be entartained his 
3rQinig friend with the quaUlies of these ex- 
traordinary sheq), and the ui3»^^p:ialled beau- 
ties of their offiipring. M^Ioxi thought only 
of the beauties and qualities of Daniel's own 
offspring; nevertheless^ he paid an attentive 
eax to his fiiend's animated eulogies, as^d 
pretended to admire his pastoral proficien* 
^ ; so that before they parted, they wene 
greater friends than ever they had been 
before. 

^^ I am unco glad that I hae met wi' a 
friend that seems to hae some attachment 
for my bairns/' said he ; ^^ and that keius 
sae weel about the Edinburgh fo'k's gates. 
Ye maun come and see them very aiten ; 
the afifanier the better ; and, indeed, I maun 
just leave you a sort of fatherly charge over 
tibem. You will find their governess, Mrs 
Johnson, a woman that th^e's few like ; 
and you two may consult on what you think 
best &r the bairns. You have been a kind 



' OF WQimK. M 

Mend to Joe already; and whatever kind 
offiees or advices ye may bestow on hiitt 
again, I shall never forget, and I hope n(^- 
tber will he. I was just gaun .to give ye 
the charge of his sister in the same way, 
God bless ns ! Bat that'is no the &6hicni 
ttow-a^days ; though I think a country girl 
is nae the waur of a man^fii^id tc^ look af- 
ter her now and then, to see that naebody 
wrangs her; for tbey^re but helpless, de- 
p^idant sort o' .features, the wojnen;, and 
Joe'suncoglaikitandunsettled; andtibiongh 
he likes his sister better than ony body in 
tlie world, he wad rather quarrel wi' her 
llian oblige her ony time." 

in this £iiniliar and friendly style did 
old Da^el address the young Highlander, 
much to the satis&ction of all present ; and 
the two parted the best Mends in the world. 
The ne2ct morning, the farmer w^ early 
astir, and hurrying the nurse and Gatty to 
get Inreakfai^, although it was nearly two 
hours to the time of the fly's startiiig. 
When they sat down to breakfast, Gatty 
appesured quite heartless, and, as it wevi^ 



44 THE THBEE PERILS 

catnbating some mental distress, which her 
father 60on observed, and likewise sank 
dumb, for he disliked all complaints and 
whining, and avoided the slightest breath 
that had a tendency to kindle these. He 
^ke some words in an affected flippant 
manner to Joseph, sometimes about his lair, 
as he called it, sometimes about the Edin- 
burgh lasses. But it was apparent that he 
knew not what to say, for he knew not what 
was the matter with his darling, on whose 
account he had undertaken this expedition. 
He noted her suppressed grief, and the tear 
occasionally pouring, as it were, from her 
heart to her eye, at which Daniel was sore 
puzzled, and more distressed than she ; but, 
as he dreaded an explanation, he W99 going 
to take himself off in as careless and easy a 
manner as he was able. He got it nat 
effected; for his daughter addressed him 
through a flood of tears, and said, — "Are 
you just going away> my dear father, to 
leave me here ?" 

Daniel was thunderstruck. " What 
would you have me to do, daughter ?" re- 



OF WOMAN. 45 

turned he, answering, like a true Scotsman, 
one question with another. " Would you 
have me to stay here and be your gentle- 
man usher ? What is to become of a' at 
hame, or wha's to keep you here if I ne- 
glect my ewes and my lambs, my Cheviot 
woo, and my breed o' toops? What is to 
become b' the Duke's rent, and Lady Esfc- 
dale's, and auld Tam Beattie's, a' three,- if 
I stay here and turn an Edinburgh gossip ? 
An ye will speak to me afore I gang away, 
speak in reason, daughter, for that question 
wasna like yoursel'." 

" Yes, it is like myself," said she, still cry- 
ing and sobbing bitterly ; " it is like what 
I am now, though not what I was once. I 
m not what I was not long ago, my deat 
father, but an altered creature, all gone 
wrong ; and, as an instance of it, I beseech 
you not to go and leave me here, but to take 
me home again with you." 

" Astonishing !" said the nurse. 

*• I think the wench is gone crazy in the 
head,** said Joe ; " you are grown so capri- 



46 THE XHEEB PERILS 

dims, you csimot bebaTe yoiursdf like othsat 
people." 

** My dearest ehildy what ails you ?" said 
the old iBan, deeply affected. 

'^ Nothing ails me, sir, to speak of; o&ly 
I fed I cannot bear at this time to part 
with you. I would submit to any thing 
r«ther than be separated from you at pre- 
aent. But I am a foolish, silly girl, and 
must submit to my fate. You must go 
home to your business, and I must remain 
h^ee; there is not a doubt of it. Wh^i 
shall we meet again ?" 

*• That shall be as you:^ase, child. You 
may come home with Joseph during i]m 
time of the vacation, if you so incUne ; but 
for my part, I hope I shall not see your fafie 
again for 3, twelvemonth." 

" Say longer. It will bemudi longer tf 
I divine aright," said she. 

" I do not comprehend you, my dear 
Gatty," said the father. 

^^ How many have parted thus, who ne- 
ver met again ! Is it not quite possible, sir. 



OF W0Mi2lK. 47 

titeat we may be parting this maming nevef 
to meet again ?" 

*^ There's naetinng impossible in this 
world, child ; but as lit^ will ^em any 
cf us die till our day come. You are a wee 
nen^h this mornings Come, cheer up 
your heart, and be a woman^ or else ye will 
make me ane too ; and I canna be that aisd 
a reasonable creature baitb. Come, come, 
give me your hand. God bless 3?k)u ; and 
may His jHresence be about both my children^ 
a^well as them that are &rther from me i** 

Gatty gave him her hand, but still k^ 
hoM of his till she* drew h^self close to his 
bosom, when she put her arm around his 
neck and kissed him. ^'Remember me to 
my mother," said she ; ^^ and remembeor me 
very partidilarly ; and, dearest father, if I 
die in Edinburgh, I beg, I entreat, that you 
wiH not bury me here." 

*' Gatty, I cannot stand this* Say but the 
word, and I will take y<m home again^ 
though we should both be laughed at $s 
long as we live. You cannot surely 'suppose 
that you fed any disease preying on you ; 



48 THE T&BEE PERILS 

for you never looked so bright^ or so healthy 
in your life." 

'' Yes, father, I do feel a disease preying 
on my vitals, which no one knows the na- 
ture <rf but myself, nor ever shall know, 
though it should carry me tp my grave.*' 

The old man stood gazing in doubtful 
concern on the face of his beloved Agatha, 
and was, without doubt, summoning a re- 
luctant resolution to take her home with 
him in the fly, when the nurse interposed 
with that strength of solid reasoning for 
which she was remarkable, and in a short 
time made both the father and daughter 
ashamed of the parts they were acting, so 
that they had not another word to say on 
the subject. Daniel went off in the fly, 
and left Joe to his Latin and Greek, and 
Gatty to her female studies ; but chiefly to 
ihe first and greatest of all female concenu 
to those that are involved in it, — ^he left h^ 
a prey to the most romantic and uncontrol- 
lable love. 

The very next day, M*Ion left his ele- 
gant lodgings in Duke Street, and toc^ the 



Oy WOMAN. 49 

flat above Mrs M*Grindert, the very one 
which Darnel meaiit to have surveyed when 
li^ hinded in the other, and bargained for 
it This was a joyful circumstance for Jo- 
seph and Mrs Johnson; and to Gatty!^ 
heart it gave likewise a thrill of pleasure, 
iiitennixed with shooting pains of the most 
poignant nature. He was now their daily 
vititor. Joseph and he were inseparable ; 
tb^ read together^ played at backgammon 
and drafts together, walked togeth^, and 
went out on country excursions together. 
But nowhere woiddGatty accompany tfaem^ 
not though her brother was of the party!; 
although M'lon essayed his most persuasive 
eloquence, and Mrs Johnson not only ac;- 
qivbseed, but lectured her young mistress, 
now her ward, on her proud and unsocial 
nature. All these things only made Gatty 
persist: the more stedfastly in her system of 
selfdenial. My heart is suffering too much 
already, thought she, more than it is able 
long to brook ; and were I to indulge in a 
free and delicious interchange of sentiments, 
wiut would become of me then ? I should 
VOL. I. c 



50 THE THREE PERILS 

soon^by word, look, or action, betray the true 
feelings of my heart towards one who has 
manifested no regard for me, farther than 
what common civility would dictate to any 
wellbred young man. And should I not 
thereby forfeit not only my own esteem, 
but his, and all theirs with whom I am con- 
nected ? 

Thus did the pure and delicate-minded 
Gatty struggle on against a growing pas- 
sion, that still continued to gain ground on 
her heart, in proportion with her efforts to 
overcome it. For whole nights together she 
tried to reason herself out of her affection, by 
endeavouring to represent it to her own mind 
as the most unreasonable thing in the wotld; 
but theGodof Lovemocked at her subtilties, 
and showed her that he was determined to 
carry his point, without listening either to 
rhyme or reason. Then would she strive Ibr 
whole nights again, endeavouring to repre- 
sent the object of her romantic attachmisnt 
as unamiable, and undeserving of a maiden's 
love ; but alas, every one of these sugges- 
tions turned out to the conqueror's advan- 



or WOMAN, 51 

tage, and he came off from them all» tri- 
Hinphant in his manly heauty and accom* 
]^shments. 

Now, the most distressing thing of all 
was, that M^Ion was as much in love as she ; 
but, from every part of her late behaviour, 
he judged that he had not only no share in 
her affections, but that he was become her 
utter aversion ; and from delicacy alone he 
had previously been prevented from me^i- 
tioning his love and honourable intentions 
either to. herself or her father. The first 
summer that he went to Bellsbun^foot, Gatty 
and he were inseparable. She walked with 
l^im ; she rode with him ; she sat beside 
him on the sofa, with his arm round her 
waist; and even in her mothers presence 
she sometimes sat on his knee. She ^img 
to him ; she laughed at him ; and walked 
ann-in-arm with him to church. But all 
Ih^t time he never mentioned lave, nor did 
.ifbe ^pect or desire that he should. She 
^yer onc^ thought of it« He once, indeed, 
had said, that he had never known so charm- 
^S ft gii^l in his life, and tl^at was the far- 



5S THE THBEE PERILS 

tbest he had gone ; for many a time had 
Oatty turned over the records of her me* 
mory in search of every kind word that be 
had uttered, and she could light on no do- 
cument more conclusive than this. 

But when he went away, then she felt the 
loss she had sustained, and that too surd;^ 
her heart was gone with Mm ; yet whiles 
with all her ingenuity, she ^ould not teaoe 
aught he had ever said to her beycmd th^ 
precincts of common gallantry, she was se» 
cretly persuaded that he loved her. Melon's 
sentiments towards her were in no degree 
short of her*s towards him. From their fir* 
meeting he had become every day more and 
more attached to her, and had resolved, be- 
fore leaving the country, to lay open thfe 
state of his affections; but, on second 
thoughts, he deemed, that, owing to her 
youth, as well as his own, such a declara* 
tion would be premature ; that it would be 
better to endeavour the securing of an in^ 
terest in her youthful heart, and as that and 
their experience ripened, gradually to dis^ 
close the other, as it came to be mutually 



OF WOMAN. 58 

understood* With these sentiments, betook 
kave of her liie first year, not knowing till 
after he went aa¥ay what, ravages love had 
adtoaUy wrought in his heart, or that his 
happiness was so totally wound up in that 
gid's count^ance and fellowship. He at- 
tired himself still more firmly to her hro- 
Iher, resdving to act towards him as a guard- 
ian» a inead, and a monitor; and went oui 
longing for the next year's vacation. 

The next year'svacation came ; hut Gatty 
hy that time had &lt what drinkers dree« as 
the old piKxverb runs, and determined no 
mcnre to risk the whole happiness of her life 
«n a die. She. had consulted her own rea-* 
son, her mother's and her nurse's sentiments, 
and those of every love^song and ballad of 
the country, and she could discover nothing 
relating td youthful love that wasnot fraught 
with danger ; and as to unrequited love, that 
was radcs, strangulation, and death ! The 
eonsequence of all this was, that when M^Ion 
urived at Bellsbumfoot the second year, he 
was jreceiT^ with kindness, but with far 
more coolness than he had expected, by the 



54 THE THREE PEEILS 

darHng of his heart, who had been to him the 
year before as his shadow, or rather as a part 
of himself. Gatty had her conduct padi^ 
cularly marked out and bounded before h^ 
came, and she kept strictly by the limits she 
had set to herself, which few girls of her age 
could have done in the same ffltuation. She 
flattered herself that he loved her, but was 
altogether uncertain, and trembled at being 
made the dupe of common gallantry. She 
felt likewise that she would have given all 
the world to have heard him declare his love^ 
that she might have some rational excuse to 
her own heart for that feeling towards him, 
which she could not subdue. In her line of 
cotiduct marked out, she had therefore al^ 
lowed M*lon two, and not above three fair 
opportunities of declaring his true senti^ 
ibents, which, if he declined, or failed doing 
to her satis&ction, th^n she had fairly de- 
termined, and sworn to herself, to *^ Itek h^ 
heart in a case of goud, and pin it wi' a sil^ 
kr pin ;" in short, never more to expose her- 
sdif to the blandishments of idle and um 
meaning love. 



OF WOMAN. o3 

Bui alas, these three grand opportunities 
nHiich Gatty allowed ha: lover to declare Jiis 
pa^on, soon came> past over^aiid were gone, 
and BO declaration of love was made ! In: 
^eir first sdlitary walk, she hardly gave him. 
time, for she had set out under a convictioa 
that it would he made, and though she long* 
ed for it above all things in the world, yet 
she fell a trembling from head to foot every 
minute that she expected the first word of 
the dear avowal to drop from his tongue. 
The consequence was, that she hurried him 
from one place to another, and from one sub- 
ject to another, till at length she popped 
into old Elen Scott's cottage, and left him to 
take out his walk by himself. Elen adored 
ber.young mistress, and the visit being quite 
unexpected, she *knew not how much to 
make of her, or what to say to please and 
amuse her. ** But, dear heart and hinney 
Unde, I think ye're mair nor ordinar braw 
and dink the day,** said Elen. '^ I never 
$aw sae mony curls hingin at your hafiats 
^fore ; and as for your waist, dear me, dear 
me ! it's nae thicker than a pint cogie. Dear 



56 THE THREE PERILS 

heart, is't true that the young Highland 
laird's come hack the year again ? They say 
the lad wi' the green short coat and the 
mbny huttons is corned a' the gate here 
again, and it's thought he's looking after 
you ? Eh ? Ah, dear heart and hinney blud^ ! 
ye're laughing at me ! ye're laughing at a 
poor auld body ! hut take care o' trustii^ 
ower muckle to thae Highlandmen. He has 
an unco wily ee, yon chiel, and when young 
fo'k begin to gang thegither, and gang the- 
gither — Aih, dear me, dear me ! that waist 
of yours is very sma' indeed." 

^' Dear Elen, who says that the Highland 
gentleman is looking after me ? I assure you 
there is not a word of truth in that. He 
would not look to the side of the road I 
walked on." 

*' Ah, dear heart and hinney blood ! be 
hasna the een and the senses o' ither men 
then. But that denialjust gars me trow die 
mair what the fo'k*s saying. Ye'll maybe 
pretoid that you an' him never walkit the- 
gither by yoursels twa, and never courtit 
th^ither last year by every bush and brake, 
on Bell's bum-side ?" 



OF WOMAN. 57 

** That I will, Elen— I will deny that 
most positively." 

*' Quite right, dear heart ! quite right. 
'Deny and win free, confess and be hang- 
ed,' is a good auld saying. Nae necessity 
ata^ for confession here. The accusation is 
nae the less true o' that, trow-an-a'-be. It's 
a great wonder he's no at your elbow this 
good day. It's maybe a' true you say, or else 
he wad surely hae been peeping about the 
bushes, an' looking after you the day. — O 
dear heart and hinney blood ! what are ye 
gaun away already for ? ye're aye in sic a 
hurry when ye come to see poor auld Elen. 
Oh^ there's sic an impatience about young 
blood ! Thae men, thae men ! * The High- 
landman came down the hiU,' ye ken. Is nae 
that the way o't ? He disna' wear a kHt, 
does he?" 

*' Elen, you are set to teaze me about the 
stranger to-day. What do I know about 
him ? I won't let you sd; me any farther on 
my way, because you are so provoking. Re- 
turn back to your wheel. Grood bye." 

^^Na, na, dear heart, I maun e'en gang 
c 2 



58 THE THREE PEEILS 

a wee bit farther, I see your sweet young 
&ce sae seldom^ and I hae tnony mony tfamgs 
to crack about foreby the men." 

In despite of all that Gatty could say; 
old Elen still sauntered on with her, till at 
length up started M*Ion out of a bush be- 
fore them^ and stood waiting their approa^; 
Elen let the skirt of her stuff gown fell down 
from about her shoulders, shook down her 
apron with both hands, and, looking with in^ 
4uiring astonishment in Catty's face, whose 
cheek burnt to the bone, she said, in a hui^ 
lied whisper, " Peace o' conscience ! who is 
that? Ah wickedness, wickedness! the very 
Highlandman that was here last year ! Oh, 
I thought the waist was unco sma, and the 
curls unco neat, an* unco bright and shining* 
Ay, ay, ifs a* ower wi' somebody ! It's a mer- 
cy he hasna a kilt, though. * Goodbye, E^Ien^ 
ye maunna gaung nae farther the day,' quo' 
she ! Oh, sirs, the bits o' wiles, and die bits 
o' harmless lees, and the bits o' cunning lifits 
that love has in it« tail ! Fare»ye-weel, dear 
heart, and take care o' yoursel, for I'll ivtmr- 
rant him o' the bk)od o' the wild rebellion- 



OF WOMAN. 59 

exB, that gae our &thers and our mothers 
sic a gliff— -wi' their Idlts^ ye ken/' 

£len left theni» and the lorers pursued 
thidr route homeward^ M^Ion still fishing 
fixr an opportunity of declaring his love, and 
Gstty still panting for dread of the subject, 
and dcnng all that she could to waive that, 
v^bieb, of aught in the world, she liked the 
beat to hear. He once got the following 
Ifiligth^ but soon was damped. ^ Have you no 
imlLnor desire to have a view of the North 
Highlaiids, Miss Bell?'' 

" O, gracious me, no, no ! What would 1 
do seeing a country where all the people are 
Bspists, rebels, and thieves ? where I could 
not pronounce a word of the language, nor 
a local name of the country ? How could I 
ask the road over Drumoacbder^ or Car- 
Beiyea]:acfa, or Meealfourvonnnich ? God 
keep me out c£ that savage country !" 
. What could a lover say in reply to such 
a stigma thrown out on his country as this? 
Minion said nothing, but smiled at the girPs 
estravagant ideas of the Highlands, which 
he well knew to be affected, but neverthe* 



60 THE THKEB PEKILS 

less. took iBae hmJt, as a protest against his 
further proposals ; and the two strolled on in 
rather awkward circumstances, till they met 
with Mrs Sell, which was a great relief to 
Gratty's oppressed and perturbed mind. 

That night, when she retired to her gar- 
ret-room by herself, her mind was iU at ease. 
She rq^ented her sore of having snubbed 
her lover's protestations in the very &»l 
opening of the desired bud, and. in pairti* 
Gular, of the ungenerous refleeticm cast upon 
his country, which looked like an intended 
afi&ont She coidd not but wonder at her 
own inconsistency, in diecking the words 
that she lotted most to hear, and deter- 
mined with herself to make it all up in cou-^ 
placenoy the next time. 

Anothiar opportunity soon arrived^ for 
ihey were to be had every day ; and though 
nothing save common-place observations 
passed between them, with some toying and 
tHtmg of words, yet it proved a happy and 
deUghtM afternoon to bd^ parties. fiut» 
like the other, it passed over without any 
protestations of love. Twice or thrice did 



OF WOMAN. 61 

tbe tenor :of their ^seourse seem a^roadi>* 
kig to it; but then^ wbea it caine ]bo a cer- 
tain point, each time it stood stUl, and ai* 
l&n^oB prevailed till some common remark 
reeved them from the dilemma. 

There was now but one other time r&t 
ittaining, in which, if M^Ion did not dechue 
h&msdf^' he was narer to hare another chance 
flt the way that lorers like best. Long wad 
it ere Gatty durst risk that sole remaxaing 
^mce ; for abe hoped always to find msi^ 
itn in a better train ; in a state that the 
dedaiation could not be eluded. Again ^e 
ecmdesoended to gire himiier hand in tdie 
datfce at the gentlemen's erening parties^ 
(fitnr erery fiirmer is a gentleman in tHst 
country.) Again she condescended to give 
faim h» arm to church, in the &ce.of the 
assembling, congregation, and even saluted 
old Eien, as she passed, as if proud of the 
rituatidn slie occupied. After these things^ 
&e aco^ted of an invitation to go and visit 
tbe Rowntree Lynn, where they had o&esk 
been the year before. They admired the 
scenery, spoke in raptures ^of tbewonder&d 



WS THE THBfiKr PERILS 

wovks of nature^ and the beauties of the 
creation. They even went so £u: as to men-* 
tion the happiness of the little birds^ and 
the deMght they had in their youngs andini 
each other» and then M^Ion fixed his man-! 
ly eyes oa the &ce of his youtiiful and bloom- 
ing companion. It seemed overspread with 
a beam of pure and heavenly joy, a smile of 
benevolence and love played upcm it, and her 
Uqidd eye met his vnthout shrinking ; there 
was neither a blush on the cheek nor a shade 
of shame on the brow. Their eyes met and 
g^ed ioAo each other for a considerable 
^ace.-— O M'lon, where was thy better an? 
gpl, that thou didst not avail thyself of this 
ftvourable moment, and divulge the tru^ 
a£^tions of thine heart ? What ddight it 
would have giv^i to a tender and too lovii^ 
bi^fitst, and how kindly it would have beeft 
received ! But his evil destiny overcame the 
^c«r intent; and, instead of uttering the 
vmds of affection, he snatched up her hand 
%nd pressed it to his lips. Gatty turned 
away, her &ce, and the tear blinded her eye; 
This was not what she expe^ed, but .the 



OP WOMAN, 69 

mere Aimes of common gallantly ; ** And h 
my heart to be made a wreck for this ?'* 
thought she ; ''No, it never shall. I must 
know better on what stay I am leaning be- 
fore I trust my happiness and my reputa- 
tion in the hands of mortal man, far less in 
those of a young and deluding stranger any 
more.'' 

During the rest of their walk, she kept 
olence, save by simply giving assent to some 
of his observations. She was busied in ma- 
king up her mind to abide, without shrink-* 
ingf by her former resolution. But as it 
was the last chance ever her lover was ta 
have, she determined to hear all that he had 
to say. She stood still five or six times to 
listen what he was saying, aud after he was 
&ne, she was standing and listening still: 
When they came to her fother's gate, she 
turned her bade on it, to breathe a little be- 
fore going in ; and while in that position 
she fixed on him a look so long, and so fill} 
of pathos, that he was abashed and con- 
founded. It was a farewell look, of which: 
he was little aware, for his constant aim had 



64 THE THREE PERILS 

been to gam b bold in her youthful affec- 
tions, and he flattered himself that he was 
succeeding to his heart's desire. But de- 
lays are dangerous ; at that moment was she 
endeavouring to eraze his image from her 
heart ; and the speaking look that she fixed 
on his face, was one of admiration, of re-^ 
proach, and of regret, each in its turn. She 
laid her hand on the latch, and pressed it 
dowly down, keeping it for a good while du 
the ^ring. " Would he but speak yet,'* 
thought she, '^ I would hear and forgive 
him." He spake not ; 90 the gate opened 
slowly, and closed ^ain with a jerk behind 
them ; and with that closing knell, was the 
do(»: of her affections shut against the &r-^ 
t^er encroachments of a dangerous passion* 
So the maiden conceived, and made up her 
mind to abide by the consequences. 

From that day forth her deportment 
towards her lov^ underwent a thorough 
change. He lost her countenance, and no 
biandishment of his could recover it ; but 
for all that, love, in either heart, continued 
his silent ravages, and JVl^Ion retired from 



OF WOMAN. 65 

Beilsbiimfoat tliat second year under grier 
vons astonuhment how he had offended his 
beloved mistress, but resolved, nevertheless^ 
to continue his assiduities, until he could, in 
the full assurance of her affections, ask and 
obtain her as his own. 

Gatty's mind continued in torment In 
the bosom of that maid there was a constant 
stni^le carried on for the superiority, by 
duty and prudence on the one part, and love 
on the other. The former, indeed, swayed 
the outward demeanour; but the latter con- 
tinued to keep the soul in thrall. She spent 
not a thought on the conqueror of which 
she did not disapprove, yet she continued to 
think and languish on. '^ I fear I am in 
love still," said Gatty ; " and what a busi- 
ness I am like to have of it !" And thus, 
by a retrograde motion round a small but 
complete circle, am I come again to the 
very beginning of my story. 

I like that way of telling a story exceed- 
ingly. Just to go always round and round 
my hero, in the same way as the moon keeps 
moving round the sun ; thus darkening my 



66 THE THE££ PERILS 

plot OB the one side of him, and enlighten- 
ing it on the other, thereby displaying both 
the Ughts and shadows of Scottish life. 
And verily I hold it as an incontrovertible 
truth, that the moon, descending the west- 
ern heaven on an evening in autumn, dis- 
plays these lights and shadows in a much 
more brilliant and delightful manner, than 
has ever been done by any of her brain- 
strieken votaries. There we see nature it* 
sdf ; with those it is nature abominably 
sophisticated. 



OF WOMAN, 67 



CIRCLE SECOND. 

** What were you saying about love last 
nigfat, cousin Gatty, when I fell asleep in 
y<mr bosom? Either you spoke a long 
time to me after I was more than half 
asleep, and told me an extraordinary story, 
else 1 dreamed a strange and unaccountable 
dream.'* 

^ Tell me your dream, cousin Cherry, 
and then I will tell you all that I said to 
you about love." 

" Ah ! you told me now, — did you not, 
Gatty ?— ^either you told me, or I thought 
you were gone to a lovely place fiu: above 
me, and I could not reach you, and neither 
would you return to me. And then I 
thought I saw hangings of gold and velvet, 
and a thousand chandeliers, all burning 
brighter than the sun ; and I saw you dress- 



68 THE THBEE PEBILS 

ed in gold, and diamonds, and bracelets of 
rubies ; and you had a garland of flowers on 
your head. And then I wept and called 
long, but you would pot answer me, for I 
was grieved at being left behind. And I 
saw a winding«^path through flowery shrubs, 
and ran alongst it, asking every one whom 
I saw, if that was the way ; and they all 
smd, ' Yes.' I asked my mother, and she 
siod, ' Yes ;' and I asked young Boroland, 
iiid belaid, * Yes ;' and so I ran on, till at 
length I saw you &r aboveme, farther than 
ever. And then you ealled out, ^Dear 
cousin Cherry, you shall never get hjece. hy 
^atpath. Do you not see that tremens 
dous precipice before you ?'— * Yes I do,' 
said I ; * but that is a delightful flowery 
biKuk^'aBd the path is so sweet to the senses ! 
O snxffer me to go by that road!' — * Nay, 
but when you come to that ste^, the path 
iaof glass,' said you; V and you will slide 
and fall down into an immeasurable void^ 
9&d you will be lost, and never see this 
^dbbde of beauty. Remember I have told 
yi»u» &x the imme of that rode is LoTE.' 



OF WOMAN, 69 

^ You then went away fixwn my sights 
and as soon as I saw you were gone, I took 
my own way, and followed the flowery path ; 
and ¥9hen I came to the rook, the walks 
were all of glass, and I missed my footing 
and hung, by some slender shrubs, callti^ 
oat for help. At length young Baroland^ 
cousin Joseph's fiiend, came to my assist* 
anoe ; but, instead of reliering me, he snapi- 
ped my feeble support, and down I fell 
among rocks, and precipices, and utter dark^ 
ness ; and I shrieked aloud, and behold I 
was lying puling in your bosom^ and you 
were qpeaking to me, and I cannot tell 
whether I was asleep or not. Did you not 
tell me any such story as that, cousin Gat- 
ty?" 

*' Not a sentence ci such matter did I 
t^ you. It is wholly the creation of your 
own Tain &ncy. But it is, nevertheless, a 
siogular dream. That part of it about the 
rock called Lave, and the walks of glass, 
astoumls me not a little. Did you indeed 
tUnk it was Boroland, or M^Ion, or what 
do tb^ call him*— 4he young gentleman 

12 



70 THE T,HREE PERILS 

there that has taken Joseph in tow ? Was 
it he that came to your relief ?" 

" Yes, and who pulled my hold up fey 
the roots, and let me ML ; but he was ex- 
ceedingly grieved, and I pitied him. And 
more than that, I had forgot that you told 
me you fell from that jodc yourself; aad 
if it had not been some one, whom you 
named, that saved you, you had perished." 

'^ I could almost incline to turn SibyU 
«id read your dream for you. Cherry, could 
I but underrtand this — How it came into 
your head that the name of this dangerous 
precipice was called Love ; fi>r, sure, at 
your age, you cannot so mnek as know what 
love is." 

'* O yes, but I do though. I am not so 
young, cousin, though I am little. In two 
years I will be as old as yourself. And do 
you t^nk that I have not yet learned to 
love my Maker, my father, and mother, 
and all good people ? At my age, tndy ! 
My age is not so mudb short of your own!" 

'.' How Ignorant you are of life, dear 
Cherry, not to know that there exists a love 



OF WOMAN. 71 

between individtials, superior to aught m 
this lower world for rapturous delight, and 
quite distinct from all these. If ever you 
axe really in love, you will find that you 
think about nothing in the world, save 
aJbont the beloved object ; that you would 
never be out of its sight, and would even 
long for an opportunity to suffer for its 
sake, and even to die in testification of yoor 
boundless esteem." 

*^ O, but I do know very well thon^. 
Do you think that I do not know that sort 
of love too? I assure you I have felt it in 
its ftdlest extremity." 

** Pray, who was it for, dear Cherry ?" 

^' It was for old Miss Richardson ; the 
best and the sweetest creature that eva: 
breathed. I just loved to look at her, and 
hear her speak ; and how willingly wouM I 
have died to oblige her !" 

^f Forgive me, sweet cousin, for I must 
laugh at your simplioity and ignorance. 
This love liiat I i^eak of can only exist be- 
tween two of different sexes. If a man is 
in love, it must be with a woman ; and if a 



72 THE THREE IPBRILS 

woman is in love, it must be with a matt* 
But as you are neither the one nor tbe 
other, but merely ^ little girl, if ev^ you 
have been la love^ it must. hare been mth 
a boy." 

" Upon my word. Miss Bell, you vahie 
yicmrself rather too much on your two yeas 
^f gawky experience. Women are not all 
bom to be steeples, like some Tain friends 
that I could name. But go your way into.tibie 
shop of the Thistle, and see whether a small 
Flanders lace tippet« or a large trollop of a 
Paisley shawl, is most valuable. Whether 
is a small Spanish jennet, or a large lubber 
of a cart mare, with a long neck, and long 
legs, tlfe prize that a true judge would va- 
Ijie? Peugh! sterling stuff is always put 
up in small parcels. Take you that, couam 
A^tha, for your superior laigth of shafts, 
and your two nicks on the horn beyond me. 
And, more than that, I have been in love 
that way too, which I am sure you nerer 
were ; for you have too hi^ a conceit of 
yourseli^ to fancy any other body. I havB 
had all these feelings that you mentioned 



OF WOMAN. 78 

towards a man, and he was no boy neith^. 
And who is most woman now ?*' 

** Pray, may I ask who this fortunate 
and happy gentleman is, that is blessed with 
the love of a lady of so much experience 
and knowledge of human life ?" 

^ It i$ no other than that same young 
M^Ion of Boroland, whom you turn up 
your nose at with so much disdain. I never 
saw any creature so beautiM, so gentle, and 
so kind ! You have driven him from you, 
and he has been obliged to take up with me 
in all our little parties, and all our walks. 
O, I am grown I love him so dearly, that I 
feel just as I could take him ^to my 
heart r ^^ 

** Bless me, child, you must not speak 
out your foolish thoughts in that ridiculous 
manner. I hope you would not repeat such 
a sraitiment to any body else. If ever such a 
shameful thought cross your inexperienced 
mind again, for Heaven's sake suppress it, 
and say the very reverse of what you feel !'* 

^ Would I, indeed ? Catch me there ! A 

TOL. I. J> 



74 THE THREB PERILS 

fine lesson, truly ! Y<m would first persuade 
me that I am a child, and then teach that 
dbild to he a systematic liar. No, no« cou- 
sin, I wiU always think as I feel, and ex- 
press what I think, for I shall never take 
up a trade that I think shame of; and if I 
should love Mr M*Ion ever so well, and die 
for him too, what has any body to say ? So 
I will do both, if I think proper. It is but 
two years since you were gallanting with 
him in every retired bush and brake you 
cpuld find ; and were you a child then, for- 
sooth ?" 

*' It was because I was a child that I act-, 
ed with so much imprudence ; one is not. 
accountable for their actions before they 
lesarn to judge of th^n, and act for them- 



" Well, dear cousitf, you shall judge and. 
^t both for me these two years to come;, 
but only, you are to allow me to feel and 
speak what I please. And, to be plain, I 
feel that I could take young Boroland in 
my arms with all my heart, and that^ were 



OF WOMAN. 75 

he to take me in his^ it would still be so 
mucli better." 

** Well, I protest, chUd, that no young 
lady of this country ever expressed hei^elf 
ia sach a style. I am utterly ashamed to 
hear you." 

*^ And yet you have had the same feel- 
ing a hundred times — ^yes, you have, cousin, 
you know it, and have longed and yearned 
to be in the situation. — Ay, you may bridle 
and blush as you please, but it is true.— 
You have been in his arms often and often, 
and have been all impatience to be there 
again, missing no opportunity that came in 
your way. How often has he had his arm 
around that waist ! — O ho ! I know all, and 
more than I will teU you. So you are 
changing colour, are you? — Who is the 
child now ? — She that professes one thing, 
and feels quite the reverse, say I. Good- 
bye, cousin. I am going to meet Boroland 
at Maclachlan^s, in College-Street, and 
walk home with him and cousin Joe ; and 
I shall tell one, what he knows well enough, 
that he is not to take you as he finds you. 



76 THE THKEE PERILS 

for, thai you always profess the reverse of 
what you feel." — And with that, little 
Cherry Elliot, full of vivacity, and blithe 
as a lamb, whipped on her long-snouted 
Leghorn bonnet, and, taking her large 
black reticule, with three silk knots at the 
bottom, over her arm, she tripped away to 
the shop of Maclachlan and Stewart, in 
College-Street, purchased Larent's German 
Grammar, and asked if her cousin Joseph 
had called. The bibliopole answered, tiiat 
he had not, but he was sure he wouldnot 
be long, for his friend Boroland, with a 
number of other Highland gentlemen, were 
at present in the sale-room ; and, handing 
her a seat, without more ado, he went into 
the back apartment, and told M^Ion that 
a young lady wanted him. On the instant^ 
he had Cherry by both hands, sayings 
" Where, in the name of the spirit of the 
wind, has my sweet Border zephyr been 
wandering to-day ?'* 

'^ I came to look after you, sir, for fiw 
you had gone astray. — And there's poetr^ 
for you.'* 



OP WOMAN. 77 

** Very well indeed, Miss Elliot !** said 
Madachlan ; " upon my word, I believe 
you Border people not only think and speak, 
biit actually breathe in poetry." 

"This, sir, is .the Deity of poetic fiction 
herself!" said M*Ion— " this is the Muse 
of the Lowland Bordei: !" 

" And she's come to hold the Highland- 
ers in order," said the elf; and putting her 
arm into the double of Melon's, she wheel- 
ed him about, and out at the door in a mo- 
mentr 

" What a delightful spirit that young 
lady has !" said the knocker-down of books, 
looking after them with infinite good na- 
ture ; " rU warrant she shall make some of 
the young gentlemen go supperless to bed 
before many years fly over her head." 

*' I have had a nice quarrel with my 
cousin Gat to-day," said Cherry to M'lon, 
as they went through St Andrew's Square. 
" I told her that I was in love with you, 
and she was very angry with me ; and then 
I told her that she was in love with you 
herself, and she was much more angry ; and 



78 THE THREE PERILS 

SO I came runniBg off, and left her changing 
colour like an evening sky.*^' 

'^ I grievously suspect tiiat some persoB 
has done me an unkind office wiiii ytmr 
cousin. Miss Elliot. If I could beUieve t&at 
the sentiments of her heaH were the saime 
as her demeanour is towards me, I sfabuld 
he the most unhappy of men:'' 
• ** Do you think they are?^ — ^Rest con*- 
tent ; for be assured, they are the vety le^ 
verse. She confessed so much to me, ^id 
it was there that I got her on the he^V 

« My sweet Cherry, what - a merdy 'fer 
my peace that you are not yet quite ripe 
for pullmg from your native tree I** exclaim- 
ied M^Ion, squeezing Her hand in his ; ^^ find 
me out your cousin's true sentiments of me, 
and I will love you as long a« I Kve." 

"I will do any thing for you^ sir, and 
do it with pleasure. But sure you caimot 
be in love with my cousin <5at?" 

" O, no, no ! by no means ! But then my 
intimacy with her brother^ and ike rest rf 
the family, is such, that I cannot be at ease 
under the impression that she conceived 



OF WOMAN. 79 

badly of me; aiad I wish sinxserely that my 
young and admired friend would sound har 
capricious cousin, that I may know in future 
Imkto conduct myselfl If her marked dis- 
like "lo my company proceeds from miscon- 
oept&on, 1 will do all in my power to re^ 
move it ; if it is rooted in a natural aver- 
don, I will withdraw from her presence," 

" Depend on it, that I shall try to sound 
her with all my art, which, I am sorry to 
my 9 is by others reckoned of small avail, for 
I am an utter stranger to all sort of dissi- 
mulation ; and the plague of it is, that my 
<)oiisin values herself on that as a necessary 
qt^^lifieation, maintaining that, whatever 
feelings we have toward your sex, it be- 
boves us to express ourselves exactly con- 
trary. Mig^^t not this, sir, be a key to the 
whole of her late demeanour ?" 

^^ I wish I could trust to it, and say with 
the sh^herd, as I hope I may, * Weel I 
k^nd she meant nae as she spoke/ " 
t. . Cherry Elliot knew nothing about Fatie 
and floger, and, catching this last sentaice 
as it fell from Melon's lips, she took it for 



80 THE THREE PERILS 

his real sentiments, and smiled, thinking 
how far he might possibly be deceived. He 
went in with her, and found Mrs Johnson 
and Gatty engaged in serious conversation* 
He did not hear the subject, but was re^ 
ceived even with more kindness than usual 
on the worthy nurse's part, whose very id<d 
he was at all times ; and the cold and re- 
pulsive calm of Gatty's face, now assumed 
at all times in his presence, was lighted up 
with a transient and passing brightnessi 
like a sun-beam in a winter day, M^Ion,. 
though still scarcely sensible of it, lived only 
in her smiles ; that approving look of her's 
made him more than usually animated, and 
he left the ladies, old and young, in perfect 
raptures with him. But there was one who 
was forced, or deemed herself forced, to 
counterfeit her real sentiments, and to treat 
every thing he said with an indifference 
little short of contempt, though, at the same 
time, her heart thrilled with the most in- 
tense admiration. 

Cherry was all impatience to carry her 
grand scheme into execution, of sounding 



OF WOMAN. 81 

her cousin's feelings and affections to the 
very bottom ; so, no sooner was M^Ion gone, 
than she got her away by herself, and began 
in the following style, certainly not the 
most cunning or roundabout in theworld : — 

•* Well, my dear cousin ; do you were 
very angry with me to-day for telling you 
that I was in love? But it was you that 
put it in my h^d, for I did not know, till 
you told me its effects ; and I think it is a 
grand thing to be in love. I wish you may 
not be more angry with me now, for I have 
told young Boroland himself." 

" Good heavens, girl ! You are utterly 
ruined ! You are a mere child of nature, 
that knows not one thing from another ! 
Had you, in truth, the face to look in a 
gentleman's eyes, and tell him you were in 
love with him ?*' 

" Do you indeed think I would be so 
simple ? — Catch me there ! No, no ; I only 
told him that I told you I was in love with 
him." 

" And where was the mighty difference 
there, pray ? Believe me, the latter way 



88 THE THKBE PEKILS 

was a great deal worse than ihe islther, tot 
it manifested a sort t>f ehildii^ eoni^g, 
that was no cunning at all." 

** Well, well, never mind, cou^n — ^I am 
not so very strait-laced in these mattarsw 
But what think yon was his answer, when 
I let him know that I was in. love? I as<- 
sure you I did not expect such an answer, 
and you only can tell me whether or Hot it 
was founded "on 1xuth*«^^He said that you 
Were in love with him foo. Now, iny dear 
cousin Gatty, you must teH me posidvely 
if this be true, for I want very particul^y 
to know" 

Gatty^ colour changed, ai^ her lip qui- 
vered with vexation, at this piece of intelli- 
gence from her downright cousin. It was 
the insinuation whidi, of all others, d^ 
dreaded ; to eschew which she had suffeiied 
so much, and done such violence to h^rtrue 
feelings ; and she could not ansW^-Cherrjr's 
extraordinary demand, for if she had, she 
would have done it ill-naturedly ; btit she 
rose from her seat, moved to the window to 
hide her embtion, and cdintinued to lode 



or WOMAN. 88 

out to the istreet for jiome time in (sUeiice. 
Cheiry co^tiIlued importm&ing her to say 
whether or not she w$^ in love, for she 
longed to return to M'lon with the infor- 
mation he wanted; and, following her to 
the wmdow, she likewise put out her head, 
and talked of love, till Gatty grew afraid of 
their being heard in the streets, and re* 
treated to a seat, with her back to the 
Kght. 

^^ How ridicfolous," &sad «he, '^ ficnr two 
boarding-school girls to be talking of love, 
laSL the passers-by stand still to listen T 

** Ay, and let them," said Cherry, folr 
lowing, and taking a seat right opposite to 
hsr cousin-*-^' let them listen as long as 
they please. I wonder why you should be 
ao much ashamed, and so much in the fid- 
g^ about love-— I think there is nothing 
80 fine in the world. I have read j^ great 
deal about it in the sermons, and hymns, 
and good books that my.mother made me 
peruse^ and I thought it. was a bleissed 
tfaiiig, and a good thing ; but I never knew, 
till you told me^ that it could be exteuded. 



84 THE THE££ FEEILS 

with such effiset, to a young man.-^-There 
is the beauty of it, cousin— -for you know 
that is such a delightful object to turn it 
on. But then there is one very bad thing 
attending it too, for the most part of wo* 
men, you know, must always be in hw 
with one, in the same way as you and I 
are, and it is a question how many more.'* 

Gatty could have listened to her cousin's 
innocent definition of love long enough, 
with the same zest as a diseased appetite 
ciings to its bane, but the allusion to her-^ 
self again roused the maiden delicacy of her 
too sensitive heart, and she answered, some- 
what tartly, — ^^ Neither you, nor your gay 
gallant, have any right to include me among 
the victims of love to this all-conquering 
hero ; he durst not, on the honour of a 
gentleman, say that I affected him in the 
smallest degree. Tell me seriously for 
once, — ^had he the impertinence to say that 
he knew I was in love with him ?" 

Cherry, instead of answering directly, as 
was her wont, sprung to her feet, aijd rai- 
sing her hands and eyes, paced the apart- 



OF WOMAN. as 

mff&ii inth great rapidity, > aposttophiskig 
to herself thus : — '^ Alacls; it is all as I 
tiioaght! she disdains him, and it will 
make him very unhappy. He will prohst- 
hly leave her, and me too. Yet I think it 
is hardly in nature that she can dislike 
him. But no matter — ^truth is truth, and 
always tells hest. Bless me ! I had foi^ot 
my couski's avowed art of dissimulation ! 
There's the thing that confounds me! — So 
then you do love him, cousin Gatty, but, 
in conformity to modem manners, are obli- 
iged to protest that you do not ? Oh, I see 
it now! That is all very well, and, be- 
ing the fashion, it must pass current But 
how much better would it be to do as I do ! 
How much misconception, and grief, and 
Jealousy, it must occasionally cause among 
the dearest of lovers, and the best of friends, 
that way of concealing one's true sentiments, 
tmd assuming those that are the reverse ! 
Dear cousin Gatty, if you love M*Ion even 
a slight shade better than other young gen- 
tlemen, or ev^n admire him as a little more 
3eli^nt and accomplished than the greater 



86 TH£ THEKE PERILS 

part of th6m» cannot you tell meat raoef 
for I want particularly to know, and can- 
not converse with you in that awkward way, 
as people do, playing at cross-^purposes*'^ 

" If you will tell me exactly all that he 
said on the subject, I may then let you know 
the state of my affections without reserve.^' 

" Oh, he said something, that you pre- 
t^ded to treat him slightii^ly ; and if 1^ 
wist that you did disrespect him, it would 
mak^ him very uidiappy ; but well he knew 
that you did not mean as you spoke." 

" Will you give my respects to him, and 
tell him that I do think as I say, and feel 
too ; aud that he would oblige me very high- 
ly by absenting himself from this house as 
much as it suits his convenience." 

^^ O, gracious mother ! No, dear eoushi, 
that will never do!— He is your brother's 
trial friend, and you cannot forbid him the 
hoi^e^ Besides, h^ may have business tdth 
Mrs Jdmsop^ or with mi^ you know, who 
both love uud rei^ct bim, and will always 
be glad to see him ; and we cannot be de- 
priyed of sm chief pleasure hx the caprioe 



Oy WOMAN. , 87 

c^one. For my part, I wouM not «t;ay in 
the house a day, if he were hanished it/* . 

" If he Mrants my brother, he has a rdena 
of liis own ; senA I hope Mrs Johnson and 
you will oblige me so far as to meet hini 
elsewhere, if you have business with hint 
Fof my part, I cannot, and will not, be in- 
sulted after this fashion by any gentleman 
alive. Before I heard it said that 9 girl ei 
my age, and that girl myself, was casting ^ 
sheep's eye toward young men, or pining 
and puling of love to such and such a one, 
I would father be a sheep fiiysel^ and eat 
herbs and lie among the snow," 

" Cousiti, you make me suspect that you 
are indeed in love. Do not you know th^ 
old proverb, * The greatest thief cries out 
first fie.' — And, in truth, there is none so 
much afraid of being suspected as the per- 
scm that is guilty,— that I know well. TU 
carry no such message to M^Ion. I woul4 
not tell him such an insulting tale for all 
the world. When once he asks you, tell 
him you areinsidted, or, at least, you cour 
ceiye So, aend that he is not to do it again. 



88 TH£ THREE FEKILS 

As for my words^ they go for nothing— * 
they were words of joking with him at first, 
and I cannot say that I took him up in 
the right sense. Don't think, cousin, that 
people are going to lose their friends and 
sweethearts for your whimsies." 

** If he continues to hang about our lod- 
gings in this manner, I will write to my 
fisither to take me home ; and then you and 
my nurse, or governess, as the people here 
call her, may take your darling in for a 
hdger^ if you wiU." 

** Fairly gone, cousin Gatty ! — ^fairly gone 
in love ! This is not your natural way. — 
You are distractedly in love, and impatient 
and restless to be beloved again. I see it all 
perfectly well ; and it is the only excuse 
for your behaviour. This irritation is any 
thing but natural to you. I'll tell M*Ion 
that you are in love with him, that I will, 
and that I am sure of it." 

" Your petulance is perfectly insupport- 
able, ^1.— But I will soon put an end to 
this." With that she left poor Cherry 
abruptly, ran to her room^ and shut herself 



OF WOMAN. 89 

in, where she continued \mting until din-* 
ner-time, and after that, returned and con- 
tinued her epistle. Cherry was in great 
consternation at her cousin's behaviour, it 
had of late become so variable, and ap- 
parently so much swayed by caprice and 
whim. She ran to Mrs Johnson, and told 
her what a huff Miss Bell had got into 
about love; that she was so bad of it, 
she had run and shut herself up in her 
room, and she was a&aid might do herself 
a mischief. Mrs Johnson smiled at the 
&ce of hurry and importance that the imp 
had assumed, but that smile was mingled 
with a shade of melancholy, for the worthy 
nurse had not been at her ease for several 
weeks, on account of her beloved ward's de- 
meanour, which she saw had undergone a 
material change, to her quite unaccount- 
able. Her countenance exhibited the very 
highest blow of youth and beauty, there- 
fore she could entertain no fears relating to 
her health ; and, quietly, she was not far 
from embracing Cherry's sentiments, that 
some youthful passion preyed on her inex- 



90 THE THR]&£ PERILS 

peii^nced heart. At first she suspeeted that 
M^Ion had made an impression on it. While 
the two were at Bellsbumfoot, she had plen- 
ty- of ground fiu: such suspicions ; but^ sinae 
they had come to town, she had wat<^hed 
ha: early and late, all her words, looks, and 
actions, and she could read nothing from 
t^m all, unless it was dislike. 

^< I am afraid she will put us all vnong 
togellier,'' said Cherry ; " she has ordered 
me to forbid M^Ion of Boroland the house, 
«rhich I have refused ; and now> I suppose, 
she is writing to h^ father of some imagi- 
nar^grievance, at least she ivas threatening 
as much. She is going to put all things to 
confusion with us, who are so happy. I 
wonder what can ail my cousin ? 1 suppose 
it will be necessary to humour her in every 
matter whatsoever, till this same caj^rioe 
goes off — to do every thing that she bids Ufi, 
and say as she says.*^ 

, " Nay, my dear child, that would be too 
much ; but it would be as good not to con- 
tradict her a great deal, until we see whether 
Ais fidgety humour continues or subsides. 



OE WOMAN. 91 

I confess that I tHuk my young fiiend a 
little out of her ordinary way ; hut iken I 
know she has so good a heart, that a &w 
minutes' calm reflectign will at any timt 
make her act and speak as becotiies her.^' 

After waiting an hour, Mrs Johteion 
went and tapped at the doOr.-^" Coming 
just now,'* said Gatty, and sat still, without 
opening. They waited until dinner was on 
^ table, and then sent for her twice be<^ 
fiire she came. She put <m a pleasant mood 
at dinner, but it was eaiy to observe that 
aS was not right within ; ther^ was^a shade 
of unhappiness that brooded over the sadle; 
Hke tibe mist that hangs on the brow of an 
April mom, betokening showers and clouds 
to mar the beauty of the day. She tided to 
ohat in her usual way, 1:)ut her voice wais 
feelAe, and her sentences short and uncon^ 
nected. Mrs Johnson assumed a command-* 
ing, and somewhat oflfended manner, but 
poor Cherry dung closer and closer to h^f 
eousin, while her large speaking eyes wer6 
eonstantly rolling from the one face to .tibe 
other^ with an effect thfkt was almost ludi-^ 



92 THE THBEE PERILS 

cxma, manifesting the quickness of the sen- 
sations within ; and when dinner was over, 
she took Gatty's arm in her bosom^ and 
leaned her cheek on her shoulder. 

The latter soon, however, withdrew, and 
shut herself up in her room ; and when 
she came to tea, M^Ion was in the par- 
lour. As soon as she perceived this, she 
again shut the door, put on her bonnet, and 
walked away by herself as far as the Post- 
Offioe. When she returned, M*Ion was 
still sitting reading to the rest, on a new 
work of great interest, and continued with 
them till a late hour ; but all that time^ 
Cherry observed that her cousin never once 
spoke to him, although he addressed her 
several times. She took always care to ad- 
dress some other persoa present at. these 
times, as if her mind had been occupied by 
something else. 

We must now return for a little to the 
Border, and see what is become of our old 
fiiend Daniel, who, on the very day after 
this but one, was found by the Fringleton 
carrier standing without his coat, and with 



OF WOMAN. 93 

a long hay-rake in both I»is hands, on pre-^ 
tence of dressing the ricks which his ser- 
rants were putting up, but in fa6t, so busy 
talking with his shepherds about tups, that 
he could scarce get a moment's time to put 
his hand to a turn. 

" Master, I tauld thee aye what swort 
o' chaps yon toop-lambs o* Selby's wad turn 
out to be — De'il hae them for a wheen 
shaughlin, whaup-houghed gude-for-nae- 
things!" 

*^ Hey, Jamie lad! does Selby's fine 
lambs no please thee ? They will help*thy 
hirsell, man, in length o' leg^ a wee bit. — - 
They will be nae the waur o' that, neither 
thou nor them, for wading through the 
snaw. I's sure I wish ony body wad put 
an eke to thy twa bits o' short bowed 
shanks. But an the lambs be nae gude, 
Jamie, they should be gude, for he gart me 
pay weel for them.'* 

^ Na, na, master ! they're nae the thing, 
yon — I wadna gie ane o' Duff's sons for 
twa o' them." 

« O' Duff !— But when shall we see the 



94 THE THREB PERILS 

like o' DuflF, Jamie lad? Every point of « 
tnie Cheviot was there. Gideon of Ling^ 
lee, wi' a' his art, and a' his carping, could- 
na pick out ane that was wrang set. Bttt 
what does a' our care signify now ?— ^good 
sheep and ill sheep are a' come to ae price; 
or rather come to nae price ata' ! Gude sauflP 
us ! what is to come o' fo*ks P' 

*^ Do ye think the landlords will be sae 
stupid, and sae blindfauldit to their ain in- 
terest, as to let their farmers a' gang to 
ruin ? I am sure oriy man might see with 
his een tied up, that, in sic times, the rents 
that are first gi'en down will count fer- 
rest/' 

•* Ay, by my sooth, man, ye never said a 
truer word in the life tf thee. ^ The truth 
is, that we are a' spending mair money on 
our families than ever we were wont to do. 
And what's the reason, think ye ? Because 
we ken we'll soon hae nane to spend. The 
rents that we are bound to pay are out o' 
the question. We canna pay the hauff o' 
them, and keep our ain. An they wad but 
put the thing in our power, we wad do 



OR WOMAN:. 95; 

m^ckle; but^nae maB will striye with an 
impossibility.'-^Here comes the carrier^^ft'}! 
maybe get some news frae him." 

« Good day to you, Mr Bell." 

" Good day to you, Aedie. How m the 
W(»rld serving you in these ticklish times?" 

^^ In a kind of average way, sir. I maun«^ 
na compleen nmckle when I see my bettei[«i. 
put sae sair about on the wrang side o' thd: 
bush." 

"Ay, gude kens what's to come o' us a', 
Aedie. An we coiild but save as muckle, 
out o' the hale pack as wad tak us to Bo^: 
tany-Bay, is the best thing, and the only; 
thing we hae to look for now." 

** Hout, hout ! some fo'ks maunna speak 
that gate. There will be mony hard years 
foreby. this, afore they set your back to the , 
waV Mr Bell." 

** Why, it is needless to lie, Aedie; I 
have twa or three odd hunder punds laid aff : 
at a side ; or say they were thousands, that 
comes a' to the same thing." 

•* Na, I beg yoiu: pardon, Mr Bell, there's. 
e*en a wide diflFerenoe." { 



96 THE XHBEE P£EILS 

' '' In the way o' axgum^tl mean,,}re 
gouk. Weel, say that I hae twa or. three 
thousand punds laid hy out ower my stocky 
have nae my fathers afore me, my uncksj 
and grand-undes, a' toiled hard and sair for 
that, to keep up the family name in that 
kind o' rank and distinction that it has al- 
ways held on the Border ? is it not hax^ 
fliat I should thraw away a' that, whilk.in 
reality disna belang to me, but to my fami- 
ly, on twa or three confoundit leases ? I 
could part wi' a' my ain savings wi' small 
regret^ for it is but fair that the lairds hae 
time about wi'.us. But when I gang to 
pit out my hand to diminish the boon that 
my Others left me, God forgie me, an I 
dinna feel as gin I were rakin their dust 
out o' the graves to gie away for my im- 
wordy debts. Ye may believe me, Aedie, 
we are very hard bestedd. I aince could hae 
set up my &ce, and said, I was wordy nine 
thousand punds o' live stock ; and though I 
can count cloot for cloot to this day, gin I 
war to seU them a' the mom, they, wadna 
bring me aboon four thousand. There's a 



OP WOMAN. 97 

tenrnoome for ye 1 1 hae twa thousand punds 
if yearly rent hhigin o*er my head ; so that 
If I let mysel &' a year behind, I hae nae a 
penny's worth o' them a' in this world. 
Gndesake, Aedie, hear ye nae word o' the 
rents being abated ?" 

** Why, sir, we hear aye word after word, 
but naething that can be depended on. But 
here's something that will ables gie you mair 
in»ght; there's ninepence worth o' news 
fix ye, an' the Edinbrough stemp on it." 

^ Aih, gudeness to the day ! our Actor's 
hand, or else I'm a fish ! Weel, do ye ken 
I'm feared to op^i it, there's sae muckle 
depends on that letter. I declare my hand's 
diaking as I had a quartan ague. Hey, 
Jenny Nettle, what hae we hare? The 
deak's factor, quo' he ! This is frae nae ither 
ibfa my ain hit lassie. Jennie, rin and 
bnng me my eoat and my spectadies, I 
maun hame to her mother. TUs will be a 
grand prize for her." 

Daniel would not read his daught^s 
letter before his servants ; but as soon as 
he got out of their sight, he sat down, and 

VOL. I. E 



98 THE XHEBC F^EILS 

perused it over smd over a^am^ making x^- 
marks to himself on every sentence^ so <that 
by the time he reached Mrs Bell, he was 
quite prepared to speak on the subject, So> 
as fioon as he got her into the parlour by 
herseli^ he took out the letter^ and read as. 
follows: — 

" Dear Father, 

" I HAVE not been so happy here as J 
expected before leaving home, nor so happy 
as I am sure you wish me to be. I do not 
know what ails me, but I am somehow or 
other gone all wrong. My cousin, whom 
you sent to bear me company, teazes me to 
death with an overflow of spirits, which J 
cannot brook." 

" Heard ever ony body the like oV th^t, 
mistress ?" said Daniel, laying the letter pn 
his knee, and taking a pinch of snuff. ** The 
Wench is surely weazel blawn ! Her that 
used to baud the hale house in a gUrewige 
with an overflow o' spirits." 

** Folks are not always aKkOy MrB^, 
neither young lior <dd. If jpuftijft^litfr^ie 



wefi %ft6ughlti heir health, she will grt over 
thyt squeamishness.*' 

* « j^y^ she*s very well in her health ; but 
ye haena heard the warst o' it yet," 

^' Joseph snibs and snaps at me the whde 
day, until I cry for anger. Mrs Johnson 
is a perfect bore, with her uprightness, and 
saws about religion and morality ; 'and then 
harping on one's behaviour for ever, as if no 
body knew how to behave to equals but she- 
But the worst thing of all is the intimacy 
between my broths and this M*Ion, which 
constitutes the latter, as it were, an iiitnate 
of our lodgings. Now, my dear father, this 
is what I cannot endure, and I do not think 
It becomes a girl of my age to be intruded 
on at all times by a young gentleman, par* 
tkiilarly by one who is apt to make a boast 
(flavours obtained from our sex, ^e there 
b& some who do not speak truth' of him. 
There is nothing I detest or dread so much 
as this, which compels me to be very chary 
in my favours, as well as my words ; and I 
dod't chuse to be always on my guard in 
4Mg numner. Therefore^ if you^ cannot eon* 



100 THE THBEK PERILS 

trive some method of maldng him quit lii^ 
house, I intend to come home hmnediatrif » 
and expect that you will coisieand fetch me 
accordingly. I feel that if any other geii-> 
tieman, whether old or young, were to boast 
of being &youred by my countenance, I 
would not care a pin ; but I could not e^-*^ 
dure such an insinuation from him. Iwsdld 
&r rather die, if I knew what would beeome 
of me afterwards ; but tins is a matter^that 
puzzles me very much of late ; and though 
the thought is new to me, I think oftener 
about it than I am willing to tell you of.'' 

'^ This is a very queer lett^ of our dio^h*- 
ter- s," added Daniel again. ^' It atppewi to 
me that she's grown a wee nervish* The 
antipathy that she has taken at that excel- 
lent young man, is the worst thing of a% 
and a thing that she shall never be encou- 
raged in by me. Deil's i' i^ w^ch ! I 
wad rather she fev^ured him wi' her eoun- 
tenance, as she ca's it, than ony lad I ever 
saw, and thiat I'H tell her braid seats*" 

'^Nay, nay, Mr Bell, our dan^tor is 
quite right in keejmig a due diataaee-ftEim 



OF WOMAN. 101 

afi fifong gentlemen whatsoev^r.^ Tkere is 
mtidng I&e letting you men know your 
{iroper dbtance; £)r wjbatever point you 
nadb aaee, you always judge yourselves at 
^^Saettty to go the same lengths i^ain ; and 
If the most punctual care is not taken, you 
aee ttiuch inclined to be making eneroaoh- 
meiits by Uttte and little^ A maid, you 
know, is a sheet of white paper, and ^e 
oimot be too careful whom she first suffers 
fo indorse his name on the pure scroll, &r 
then the erasinre is hard to he effected." 

This metaphor being too fine and too hx 
fetdied for Daniel, he proceeded with his 
dai^hter's letter, after a little grumbling to 
himself. ^^ I go every Sunday to church, 
and hope I am a good deal the better of 
k.**-— ** I hopesae too, daughter, but 1 doubt 
it a wee."— " Th«-e a great number of gen- 
tael, well-dressed people attend."--*-'* >Ay, 
there's for ye !"-— " M*I<m, who has a seat 
in our pew, attends €very Sabbath-day along 
with my brother ; and Mrs Johnson always 
^contrives to place this assuming Highlander 
next me^ so there we sit togetiier and stand 



lOS THE THBEE PfeRILS 

together like man and wife. I deeliure I 
never can look up, for I feel ihy cheek bund- 
ing to the bone ; actually scorched with 
shame. This is a mode which cannot go 
on, so I must leave Edinburgh, with your 
permission. Upon the whole, it will be no 
great loss, for my masters complain, and my 
mistress too, that I make no progress what- 
ever in my education. I feel myself inca- 
pable of it. There is a languor on my grpi*- 
rits. I eat little ; sleep less ; and think 
and think without any intermission; yfet 
nurse says I am well, and I confess I think 
I look as well as ever I was wont to do, a&d 
perhaps rather better. My de^r motbdr 
will perhaps know what is the matter with 
me ; for alack ! I feel that I am not what 
I was. I have some thoughts that I shall 
die in Edinburgh, but, no fears. It is an 
event that I rather long for, but I could not 
bear ^o think of being buried here. On the 
whole, father, I think that the sooner you 
come and take me away, the better. 

*^ I have no news from this great at^ 
and it is no great loss. Sot I im^it .ia .a sink 



03S: WOMAN., . 103 

of. ski. mid iniquity. There are a great num- 
ber of girls h^e, and some of them very fiue 
aecomplished ladies, that are merely bad 
gids by profession ; that is, I suppose they 
li€^ .and swear, and cheat, apd steal for a 
Uvefihood ; at least, I can find out no other 
occupation that they have. What a horri- 
ble thing this is, and how it comes that the 
law tolerates them, is beyond my compre- 
famudon. I think there must be son^e mys- 
tery about these ladies, for I have asked 
Mrs JohnsoA and Mrs M'Grinder all about 
theOEU^ but they shake their heads, and the 
o^y answer that I receive is, that ' they 
ase bad girls, a set of human bemgs that are 
lost to every good thing in this world, and 
all hope in the next.' The very idea of this 
i«;dteadful, my dear father ; and at times I 
tremble at being an inhabitant of such a 
place; a door neighbour, and one of the 
satneGommimity, as it were^ with the avow- 
ed children . of perdition. Even the stage 
plays here are not free, I £ear» of ruffiai3iism. 
Dikmud M'lon treated U£i with a box on 
Saturday yeigh* days, \mt I iQ#stgd on pay- 



104 TH£ THESS F]BBILS 

ing my ticket myself, which I diid, itud re* 
jaced to see him so much sfiroiited. Mr 
Kean, whose name we often see in the 
newspapers, acted the character o£ an usurp* 
ing king ; but what a villain and a wretch 
he made himself! I wish I may never see 
the like of him again. Th^e was an earl 
and his countess on our right hand b<ec, and 
a baronet and his family behind us; Sir 
Wsite^ Scott and one of his daugfates 
were in a box right opposite j^ewasdreok 
ed ^th simplicity and good taste* But I 
looked most of all at him, and thought him 
exceedingly good looking, although my eom*- 
panlons wo^iild not let me say it. He did 
not look often at the players, but when he 
did he made his lips thin, and looked out 
at the tail of his eye, as if he deemed it sSl 
ajoke/* 

*^ How interesting and curious the girl's 
letters are when she gives oyer writing about 
herself^" observed Daniel* ** But hear what 
she says n^t.** — ** There is nobody minds 
religion here but t^e ministers and the ladie& 
M'lon im jtist about as much religiM as 
yourself, fether, which is very near to none." 



i OF WOHAl^, 105 

*' Hear to the impodent skerling ! the 
Ht mushroom thing of yesterday ! to set up 
her beak* and pretend to teach men ! If« 
jugfc nae better than if a gimmer hogg war 
gaim togieanauldtoopaleseonhowtofae* 
have in his yoeation." 

:'' And this is a very great &ult in any 
gentleman, especially a man that h^s a fit* 
mily. Though I say it with all deferenoe, 
Iperimps you have something to answer for 
in that respect But my pap^ is out, so 
with my kind bve to my mother and all 
fiaeads, I remain your affectionate daugh- 
ter, 

^* Agatha Bell." 

^' P. S. I have opened the letter again, 
to say that I think you need not come to 
Edinbuigh until you hear from me again. 
Bat I leave that to yoorself. 

A. B.' 

'^ Now, mistress^ what do you think of 
diatc letter, upon the whole? Or what at- 
tention, think you» ought to be paid to it?" 
k2 



106 THE THEEE PERILS 

/' I thix^ she has written the letter in ill 
humour,": said Mrs Bell ; " and though I 
would pay every deference to her feelings in 
theory, I would defer doing so practically 
for the present It is not reasonable that 
you should be at all this trouble and ex- 
pence for nothing ; and if she were to conae 
home just now, Lady Eskdale,. and ev»y 
dame and miss over the country, would say 
our Gatty's town education was not com- 
pleated, and that she had come away, and 
lefbjlie boarding-school, which is so exceed- 
ing disrespectful, that I could not endure 
it. It is like the tricks of a truant boy.^* . 

" Weel, mistress^ you and I feel the verj^ 
same way m that respect. Indeed, it is very 
seldom that we feel difia*ently on a subject 
that we baith understand alike. You have 
spoken to some sense ev^i now ; but when 
ye baud out that a man ought to keep a r^ 
gular stock o' toops, that's a wee different. 
But nae matter. Til answer her letter till 
her, and that to the jpurpose;" ' - 

'\ You had better altew me to do» it, Mr 
Bdl. It is n , q^imrlaon who; ni&y eee ytoirf 



OF WOMAK/ : 107 

letter^ ip ]^Bbairgfa, aild you knowyour or- 
thofisaphy is a little peculiax." 
: *^ I'm no gaun to write ony thingaboii^ 
theogr^phy; I ken jiaethiBgabotit xnap and 
loreign countries ; but 111 wzxte to her in an 
honest. b^iQilt; style, that ony body can an- 
derstand* Your lett^s are just a* words, 
lo^ na^^ii^ else ; I never cam make aught 
put o' your letters but a^ string o' fine wofds. 
JBut rU be that condescending^ 111 shew 
fou my lettei: afore I send it away .^' 
; Mrs Bell, finding she was not like to 
make him giye wpMn pointy seeing Gatty's 
lettear. was dkected to. him, resolved to let 
him take his own way^ and write privately 
hojiii to Mrs Johnson and her darughtiar. 
That; samOi evenings at seven o'clock, Da^ 
9iel Qiasn0 down . stairs, wiping his forehead 
mi his :eye$ ; and with the following letti^ 
open in his hand, which he read over to 
his;(9poi(se in a strong emphatic tone. 

. "DacHtBE, ...■■■. 
*' Yvfi a: daft goinfieril, and that^ plane 
to be .fiwe.fi[om yeri;C8bvniided letre. Yer 



IflS THE THEME f EBILS 

no better nor J^ Jerdin's bitchy who ytoA 
naither stey vd' him nor fri him ; but theat, 
shoo had thrie wholps sooken, Aat was an 
eckscoose that ye hefna. rU no ooma my 
fitkungtfa to fetch ye. An Jos^th say ti 
mishadden wiud to ye. Til onff him. Yer 
cgosen sal chainge her loogins whaneer ye 
like, for I tuke her in greawtis for yoitf 
cumpanie. As for Mistrees Jonsten, I 
wanna hear a word againsten ha: ; and as 
for your sweetberte Mackyon, what ails y^ 
at him ? I wad raither hae ye to gakustt 
wi' bun noor ony lad I ken; ani ovder ye to 
speik to him, and mng to him, and gang mj 
gaite wi' him he bids ye, for weel I ken helk 
no the man to bid a bairn o' mine gangony^ 
gaite that's wrrag. Od, jet no gaun to 
Idve yer lane a' yer days, and stand like a 
lAtot turnip runt, up amang the barley axid 
grein darer ; a thing by itsel, sittin upitst 
yaUow dafUlike hdde whan &' the tcbUss 
gane. Na, na, dauchter Gat, ye mun l&me 
to sbtter for yersell like the youi^ dooL^ 
an* pick up sic a paddow as ye can get; 
A^e ye die*d the deith o' Jinkkils h^ I 



' CXF WOMAN. 109 

wad rather ekp twa iimsMd ^pimd i' yer 

^VMr Bell, I jmt tell you once for all,'' 
flttid his Yf^e^ interraptiag liim^ '^ that that 
letter never will do. That letter shall not 
leave this house." 

^^ D'ye tell me sae, mistress ?'^ said Da«. 
mti^ highly displeased at this ruction 
thrown on his ccmiposition. '* D'ye tell me 
^ksA oiiy letter I like to write saima leave 
the house ? Ye maun tell me neist wha'ff 
master here, for it's proper Ihat I should 
ken the one a&ire I submit to the other." ; 

' ^ My dear husband, it is for your ow^ 
hoanyour attd fiiture satis&etia(u that I speak.t 
But» in the first place, there's not a ri^< 
spieled word in that lettear^" 

; ^ It's a fr^rant wuntrutk I'll lay your 
any baitt there's &aa wrang spelled wordia: 
it a^/ Now^ if ye daur htad me, ye maun 
mmd that I write Scots, my am naitev!e;r 
tangue ; and there never was ony Jtvle £ir 
that. Every man writes it as he speaks it^: 
aasd that's tiie great advantage /of oiiriaiK 
giia§pB Gsmr.a^otkec& The l^srfa a very; 



HO THE TMMKWVTmil^S 

good.Iett^ and me ik^t wijl staqd tibbe 
test. Mair nor that, ye have nae heard it 
sl\ and fules and bairns only judge o' things 
that are half done. Hem ! I gang on this 
gate." 

**But whatten wark's this wi' M*Ipn,^ 
M'lon ? Jlka third sentence in your letter is 
aye about M'lon ower again. There is some^ 
thing aneth this. And my fear is, that ye 
like him better nor. he likes . you, and that 
pits ye intil a humstrumpery. But it is 
the stoopedest thing that a wendi can be 
guilty o', first to fa' desperately in love, 
wi' a chield, and thea be mad at him for no 
hadden sicken a whilliewhaw about lier as 
she wad hae him. . 

^^ Mair nor that, what is your bizzinejss 
wi • me an' my religion ? I am mabe as good^ 
and better too, nor them that make a greater 
fraze, and a greater braging. . I hae giea. 
y& an^edication that should enidile ye to. 
judge for yoursel,.and I beg y^e will do thf^ 
aad suffer other fod^ to. do the same. . If; 
the auld toops and the ewc»s, that is, 1^. 
mothers and the fathers, were to be gi||dit! 



' OF WOMAN. Ill 

by their- lambs^ what thhik ye wad become 
o* tile hirsel ? And what for gars ye speak 
tiU us about death in that a£fectit stile ? 
Ye'U maybe get eneugh o' that when it 
comes. Ye needna make your auld father^s 
heart sair, Gatty^ by speaking sae lightly 
about leaving him. Ye*re his only daugh- 
ter^ and afore he lost you he wad rather 
lose the best toop that ever was in his 
possession, and that ye ken wad be a 
thing he wadna easy yield to do. But, Lord: 
help me, what am I speaking about toops ? 
If I judge o* my ain feelings at this mo- 
ment, when ye hae set me on thinking about 
the thing,' I find I wad rather lose every 
toop and every ewe in my possession. Tn- 
dised, I fear that afore I saw the mools 
du)oled o'er your bonny young head, I wad 
rather creep down among them mysel, and ye 
wadna liketo seethat,6atty,mair thani wad 
do^, Na, na, it would be a heart-breakin job. 
Never speak lightly o* death. An ye were - 
to come here, and isee my chayer standia: 
teom, what wad ye say then ? Ill tell ye 
i^hat ye will say. Ye^H say, Motha*, where's 



112 THE THREE, FBKILS 

my Either the night, that his plate's no set, 
and his glass is a wanting^ and bis snuff- 
mHl^toom ? Is he gane to the Fiingleton 
mercat^ or the toop show at the Cassair, or 
the Thirlestane premiums ? And she will 
dight her e'en, and wag her head ; and ahe 
will say, Na, na, daughter, he's near^ hame 
nor ony o' thae places, but yet he'll be langer 
o' coming back. He's e'en lying in the 
Idrkyard the night, daughter, as cauld as a 
stane, and as stiff as a stick. Him that 
used to keep a' our backs cledd, and o«r 
£eet shod, our teeth gaun and our whistles 
wet, is e'en lying low, wi' the cauld gravel 
aboon his breast bane the night/' 

This was so exceedingly impressive, that^ 
in reading it, Daniel's voice waxed still 
louder until he came to the hindmost words,, 
and then he shouted aloud, and then daj^pod 
his hand on his brow, and went out of the 
room sobbing bitterly. On the arrival of the 
next post in Edinburgh, however, Gatty 
got the above lettCT, with some additions^ 
together with the followmg one from her 
modier. 



'''W46mj^. 113 



" My D^ABEST CmiD, 
' ^ lliere are so many eras in the lifi^ of 
wmnan that are critical^ and fraught ^th 
momentous consequence^, that she eali 
nevef" be enough on her guard during almost 
her whole life. Hers is a pilgrimage of 
painful circumspection, and all her effotts 
are often too few. These critical periods 
occur in maidhood, bridehood^ wifehood, 
motherhood, and widowhood ; and I shaH 
^define them all to you, with that care and 
j^ctuality that becomes an affectionate 
pai^nt to a kind and dutiful daughter. 

^ In the first place, the period of masd- 
hood is not the least dangerous of the whole, 
and the danger occurs most frequently 
dbdlit the time of life in which you now 
nfow. The mind being then too sanguine 
t^be always under the control of prudence 
or discretion, forms to itself great and high 
p^ettH of happiness and grandeur, which 
it soon discovers to be out of its reach. Tht 
^sappointed novice soon grows discontent- 
ed and fretful, and is too apt to keep all 



11 4 THE THKEE PEKILS 

those with whom she is connected in a state 
<if mental unhappiness. Her youthful mind 
)S top apt to form early attachments, which 
ars^ always violent in proportion as the mind 
wants experience ; then, when the indivi- 
dual who thus rashly gives up her heart io 
those vain and tumultuous passions, fi^jp 
herself baulked, and discovers that he^fiiy 
fections have been misplaced, or have nqt 
met with a return suitable to her ardent 
expectations^ then it is that every thing in 
this sublunary scene appears to her eyes to 
be vanity and of no value. It was on such 
occasions, and at such ages as yours, that 
in former days the vows of sanctitude were 
too often solemnly taken, and as miserably 
repented of ; but now, when such resources 
^e no more, it is at such an age, and such 
occasic)^, that resolutions are often formed, 
heaven knows how unwarrantably, that af- 
fect the reckless and unthinking creature 
life, leading her a joyless pi^rim- 



^^ .c^ unsocial and crabbed virginity. * If 
l^^m^qt, find j&vour in the eyes of such a 
le pents^Uy, ' If J cannot attain 



such and such a dear youth for my lov^ 
and husband^ farewell to all happiness and 
eomfort in this world !' . , ;; 

♦* Theobject of this passion probacy knows 
nothing of all this^ nor is he erer likely 
to know ought of it ; for, if he is a modest 
and deserving man, he will approach her 
with timidity and respect, proportionate to 
that esteem in which he holds her, and then, 
ta a certainty, he will be repulsed. A quak- 
ii^; indefinite terror affects the delicate fe^ 
male heart on such trials, inducing her to 
shun, of all things, the rery one that she 
most desires and longs for. This sort of 
innate modesty is so powerful, that, al- 
though it induces the possessor to do and 
say that which she sincerely repents, yet, 
the very next opportunity 'that she has of 
rectifying the mistake, and making some 
amends for a precipitate incivility, and the 
next ^gain, ^U she manifest the same an- 
. tipathy, even though she weeps over it each 
time, when left to herself. Is not this a 
dangerous period of life^ daughter? vski 
hew Mutious oi^t a md»i of your yean 



116 THE "VHBBB BEEILS 

to he in ghring wsy to such ytelfafid paai^ 
ttjQiis^ and hasty lesoltttums! Thisiaeooiigli 
fof the present ; and that you may, in your 
{nesent oimdnet, steer dear of all such dis* 
ofepancies, is the sincere wish of 

^ Your ever affectionate mother, v. ^ 
** Rebecca Bsi^l." ^ ' 

When Gatty had perused the two 1^ 
ttts, she wepi judging it an extraordinary 
drcumstaace that her parents seemed both 
to know ao precisely the state of her aflhui 
tions, Itemed to see clearly tiie very se<»et 
which c£e flattered herself was concealed 
ftom the eyes of all the human race, whkh 
she bad never acknowledged, save to her 
fftm hearty and never then, but with j^ame 
and perturbation of spirit. She read part 
of bodi idi;ers ovier and over again, and 
wmidered not a Httb how her affectionate 
and Uundenng father should, in the mMat 
^Mtf more important coneems about tups, 
giiBilers, and crack ewes, have souaed 
plump on thfe very spring and current of 
her'f^ncealed distemper ; and that her sen- 



tatAaoB ssaA disereet mo&et should like* 
vmB appear to kaow it intnitiTOly. Thest 
HaagB added to tbe grief and isnpatieiiQK 
that already preyed on her miiid, eon vinciBg 
her that she hetrayed the aeereit which dmt 
dreaded hy every look, word, and action, 
all the while that she was endeavouring to 
coneeal it. To put an end to such 8ur« 
anses, and to show her parents, the world, 
and her lover, that she valued not his pre* 
aenoe or society, she wrote again to her fa^ 
^Kt, earnestly beseeching him to come i^nd 
setlUe her- accounts in Edinburgh, and tak^ 
hst home with Hm ; otherwise she would 
take a seat in the coach in a few days, a^d 
netorn by herself. Daniel was confoimded^ 
hul; her letter w^s all written in such a po^^ 
aitive. strain, that he judged it would bi» 
meet to. comply^ and humour her perverse 
ifl^, rather than force matters to any ex^r 
teewi(ty. r 

Gatty had not wdl sent away the ^^^|^ 
helcare she b^aa to rue having doq^u«9j 
hpifever^ she se^t no couateniuuii4f rAff| 
h^gekJim pttQuto w^^ld mt t^ke ^r ^ 



118 THE THBBE FfilllLS 

her word. How astcnisiied was^waithy^M^ 
Johnson one day» when Gatty said eafeleds- 
iy, that she had written to her father to 
eome and take her home, and that next 
week she should leave her and Cherry to 
the free choice of their associates. Mt» 
Jidhnson. looked on her with pity and re-^ 
gret, and, with the tear in her eye, said, 
f* It hut little hecomes you. Miss BeD, to 
speak in such a style to me. If I have ever 
made choice of wrong associates for you, it 
was unintentionally. I can take God and 
iny own heart to witness, and for other tes-^ 
timony I care not, that, since the day yim 
were first coi&mitted to my care, an infant, 
your good and your improvement have heen 
my sole concern.— ^Toward that were all 
my poor abilities exerted, and I had hopes 
that they were not exerted in vain ; but, 
within these few weeks, I have had but 
poor specimens of my success. The girl that 
cannot keep her temper under controul, but 
subjects herself to unreasonable and fodkh 
caprices, and then visits these on her best 
friends and most ardent admirers, is no 



^ OF W03HLAK, 11$ 

luvour to h^ infitnietor's art. I shall jus- 
tify myself in the eyes of your parents, whb 
have been my kind benefectors,"but about 
your whimsies, miss, I shalltake no further 
eoneern. You have tried to wound me in 
tb^.tenderest part, and perhaps you hav6 
been but too successful, which, I suppose, 
anSi.. add mudi to your satisfaction. — ^You 
shall not do it again." 

Gatty was fafarly huraWed, and exceed- 
ingly sorry for what she had said. She had 
no intentions of hurting her kind nurse's 
feelings, but she had been acting and speak- 
ing in the fever of disappointed love, and 
Mt that she was hardly accountable for her 
actions. Though this was an excuse to 
herself, it was none to any body else ; there* 
iote, she perceived it was necessary for hef 
to make some apology. She sat silent for 
some time, and her looks were pathos itself^ 
till at last she burst into tears, seized hef 
monitor's hand, and held it to her ^h€^^ 
and, after entreating her forgiveneAspijIbe 
diMed, ** You see yourself that I canttot4i« 
here — at least you might «e0 it, iS^^dti 



If cr THE -ifAiS^piiiLiLs 

would/ iDoes It apj^ar-to yoti^tliatf'i ett^i 
joy the same happihefiff here that^ I «l«Alil 
wont to do? Or think youlenj^ mf 
happiness at all ?*^ ^ i.vi^;.- 

" I have perceived you fidgetty ati^'un^* 
leasonable enough,'"" said Mrs Jekmsm^i 
^ without any cause, that I was able €0 dis- 
eem. Had you treated me mtfa tlie^kJi^ 
dence that you were Wont to "do, my advice 
should not have been wanting; 8iii4^ j^lta 
have chosai to do otherwise I intenneA^ 
not with your secrets. You may go m stay 
as you please ; for my part, I skdl reflUdn 
here". ^ 

*' Wont you return toBelIsbumlb§twbeil 
I return, or soon after ?'* ^ 

^* iSince I have lost the love and domte^ 
natidb^ of her :fer whom mly I lived thi^rd; 
what have I-to do at Buim&ot?.^ Willi 
those who have no conidence In me I i^aM 
iftive nothing farther to^ do**' 

'« Alas, alasr exdaimed G«itfy,s*^iMW 
iJmch you wrong me? You di^*n«t» knew 
my heart. Th^e are srase t&kigs that ca»- 

not be disclosed.'' — ^But then^ fearing she 

4 



haA said too iqni^ she toolt her wwi 
Bgrnm, amd added-*-^ n^Ht that I have any 
aaeh siattor <^ Gmneealmeiit^-NQ^ ao ! mds. 
seeset I h&ire not. Butr-«-but tbeni there 
aw tone aihnedts thai; M»3m(A be told<-*to 
aajr odo but fite doctors.'' 

^^ And ha^ee jzxm aoiy sa^Kh aalme&tSi^ Hiy 
dew^ Gatty, aid: will sot tell it te me ?'' 
. ^^ i peroefre that you wiU not have vi^ 
long, BQrse^ eithor to plague or j^ease. yoUt 
Asatehr^ you must bear with me fpa: a little 
while^ — ^it will not be more^ perhaps^ thaft 
a &w iraehfl^ or months at most.-^I bear 
flometfaing withki me that tella me I shall 
nut Ure beyond tha^fc p^dod." 

Mm Johnson's form appeared to rise aidd 
erpand with conatemfttion. Every featUK 
of hear fiue was dilated amd $xed» aa she 
gassed on the young and blooming form.thot 
addbessed her in the fipfregoix^ word^. But 
h» alarms gradually gave way^ aa s^ ecoK 
tenqilated her ripe ruddy lip^ and liquid 
€^; and at lengthy thoD^ apparently 149* 
^ some restraint^ she tried to tufn the 

VOL. I. F ' 



fjKf THE VKIOEIII/PntlLS 

<^lbM'filu$rf /^Ididfiepmi dq^ilH^ 

Itlilwj'if ydtf^Hib^rbefomrjnDi aift Imtfjui^j 

«iid«lnitjr, it^ai(lK)ofit]le|i6&i}<AildjJKl^ 

seeing* yow yoiingtem- iroairiad/jt^cfthfeaatp 
kvers wliom ymdiscHordtd n)^i)iifl(jc^riGe. 
BefiiiN^me, you'ar8:ii0iie<^>tiicsr^lgmig BVitih 
-^A BdU iiNe9» dses, but ^tlwr i^f rmoU 
6f tl»lr«t6pddtage;?' .: 'iui igonih 

^ Nevertbelefig^ ycm will woDiika^i^jteqr 
dead-dpthes to make for me, dear nunS6»ff«- 
yoQ miay believe me,' fari I. amt n^t^jfediHg. 
I^mUr telt ' you 'a>;8eer0tr^lJViluA jdoeaffihet 
wild rose fall from the briat^!^ tj ^fn^ .^i.ihi 

^^ About ^be » cfaaiige cf ^ 43ib : Taawrniis* 

*' So soon as that ? — ^Ab, that is a tjbif 
sfabrt ftpta^ittdeedU^Tfaenjcbe&M liUfvild- 
i^bs^tfall twiceitobi tbft fari^^shallrtbo kti^ 
toll at your Gatty's burial. — Birlihiidididib 
plM&jts fcblit'wliiehHptizzki^ me-t^nibugK 
I have seen it, I do not know where it is. 



8W, %tiiik9a»fli«K€ii»4)e.M afeadfit him, 

^feMkml dk icc^imalscbdnliie *h^ (}}ougIft6 
«^iil3<wIodilu]di^d(tb^ imy hoxi» And 
tt]^ lyAntalPfedlid'thdilplaoe^^ aa I deem 
4le»^^tibimkied mtfari^ilnriD^iteid im- 
ipnftddtfpfltkitliit gave them anim^icin/- 
'3^<^hf/<ltiaiighti ase: twdeep fw your 
dg^ ^nev^biiiyieissy^tliexe'is a.subliwity in 
d$Mf>tl^ fliUfl ^m^ mth omaaeiKieiit. I am 
almost induced to believe them nmtter of 
wa&s^f^yihff^mQ 60 mm to me &oirI your 

.ufft f 5j|a;w' tinu^bt mwh of sueh things 
li/khjp^K) life baib-many^aces^ soitow^C ^Qd 
trials, has it not^ nittse ?'' . . ' i .. % 
«'^'iiea1ren krxmB.hm mitfty ! ;ajid tbey 
are always multiplying until our l^ti^ 

4)HvB«b the^'ivbrnail fcluttiisiMrried taifae 
iMi oHlite^beailvii b(r abate equal Mtbat 
dfiOthetB??^"--.!' M- '• w» -■ " '.■ '^ ■ 

'< liar's are ten times doubled, ohild ; 




earthly h^]gpiQe8s an; «iucn m^evem^\ , 
every fault, &iliiig, and iaisfortune^<)f W 



hjusttand pier^ her to the ^heart, 1^',^« 
tors of her 4chil&;eti, their p^^s, axtd su 
pigs,^ return all upon her sieVen^f * 
perplexities are without end, 6^ ioai 
O look not for such a staflf whereon to leanl 
else it wiU go into your nand^ and^piei^ li 
A woman's lifeisat hestone qf pamfiusorrowsu 
and su^rings,~.the primeval^.^^^ 
it for her transgression ; and« save w ^h^ 
thoughtless and joyouis <^ays of yqutUj^j^ 
hath no happiness under the jsiin." ,^ 

Gatty drew up her feet m the so^ ^d 
down her b^d^ and shrunk cl^se together* 
. — " O how gladly could I layjne down an4 
die !" said she; " I flatt?r^ myself ^that 
there was one chanee of happiness kiiA 
woman — and only one ; ^nd though I had 
no hopes of attawu)^ it« I esteemed }ife foif 
tQe chances of such a prize as I ^eep^ ii;|^ 
enclosed within its inscrutai)Ie wljieel.^ Ai^ 
suredly those^thajt go hence in ^he pijime of 



OF trOMAN. Hs 



Pi 



maesi ia ai^ .iBi£ter*>stat6----liavb ttief 

5ar nurse r 

^^Tftiey have, they have.— Otunsitts iaut 
fimy wiw oiir years, shedding Ihedr baie&I 
fliuli'wider and mder, as a noisome iveed 
iiSmi lis seeds aU around, till it overran and 
p^ibn a l^ealthy field. But what means all 
tiis?---iou were.wbnt to blame me for 
Mitig to6"stric£[y and teazingly religious, as 
yo&'ealled it." 

II* ii it will offend yc«i, dear nurse, I will 
liot ^ away, even though my &ther should 
cinqe &r me.*' 

' ^^ l^oihing that you can do can offend 
ine, jirovided you ai^ my counsel, and deal 
vi^ me as a friend in whom you can trust.'* 

'Thus ended tlie con vensation between 
the two jfriendsy«-4t conversation tiiat q[uite 
pimled the worthy nurse cm after-^eflee- 
don. .There was a wild pathos in the things 
myered bj her ward, that was quite mew to 
filar^ besides a disposition to wander ^6m 
oiie subject to another, indicating some in^ 



126 THEinrtfeilifi lliBILS 



•iia- 



that some lurking disease preyed'^Qtbrrdiclr 
ctediiig^ vitids, ^k^^t'fie^iaf \4itli'-£U'fier 
heart to flrfd'it ^xit; ■ ' '*" '> • > Mo-' .orfa 
In th6 mesaiAm^,'Mh<M!ieff^aM9ai 
ooncek,:— an Kft^; atti^z^m^ni'in^MQ afad 
what liotyatid, as'erei^'one^'df'^jbssi^ltttflf- 
teis'became known to' her, ^\fasixA$1k> 
M'lon with the hews, and MS. ^^ffoto 
hiniJ She told him of faet* cdti^^ dl|il0- 
rable antipathy agmnistliisi. fi6w sBribad 
desired her to forbid hiiu the hoUM^aSftitbtk 
her refUsaf, hdd wi91Mi't6'^hk»a{&^ to 
ciMEde and' taH^'h^ home;' tatii^^Addlllrft 
she 'i^iAdMik edmpdUs^ ' amy 'l4n||«vlttf'eif . 
dtir^^'Mi'' feoifiVany.4JU.»>I tblA'-henT iMd 
(Siefl;y;'<^mt'th^l3g!i!ig>Wdiddtie^'d«;,^ 
l^alf ^ Wef' J^]l&% -:M«ii«l, «iid iJifts 
Jt)hlii»)h's/^iaf^^«$,^'llttd ^«%(^-cOdia'ff«t 
spai^ yd&3x'aiifii9h&^¥Aiik^iSgfi»>,^ilA^ 
she heard that, what does she, but gbtPMid 
\«if}tt!S'td^h^ 4^h6i^^i4(AMi«^ 4^.<ii4^*her 



she, *« else, €Iod bless yo^ J ffcpi^ V^h^W 
^l^ikt^Sff)iai3iGii>.tb^ffff^, ^be.ifeqflest- 

4»tdy-f»elN«d);rfWj4.tlie, of^ sh?, Isold, fj^e 
ob^a^MisJobii^oD^ oar rather Mrs, Ja^- 
Jmi^4t9 mi <ap4 ^m hHter refli^f]ts 
4lkfvb fSWtiWt tfee wbjpct I, nes^or tell.a 
acttrstt' /A^or |)fl#, ro^y. tr»rt, we witik.^a 

dJ feJli|;,4^wiBtCbe^,,.whe^j<pi,al^ 

>fa*eigi;ri9fiiS0df-4» . t^U^ i9e, i %,. fij^ssag^^^o 

pou>l^9i>iiry(>Hf >^«sa|^«f^ esp^,tifc#t.;pi 

>«^ "yi©!»l(J id^lijrerJit 7 ,;p;i^„.^uj!pp8^^e 

j«l<ttjil»)fietttf»({f li^pui; J«ji;!9ft|ge;.tjb^ 

ItMBg^": tii'l ,oif^, >")ol) D.i!,'/ ,;;•'■; !*■),•,;{ 3'{> 

been the last person in the world tq ha^^fff^- 
Teyed sueh a-pang. \^y may you not then 



1SI6 THB mOMfe MBRILS 

'' That is now impossible. ButimtliuN^ 
ter. My hitet in tob Ml ftti isSkkmUt to 
^ytm flit pe0Mtt» «iv«et Cbarr}^' J^eibefteMk 
-me^t the Ageney^ittde to^iuimw alt ^diis 
titte/' ■ • .• '^^ >^""'- 

'< That I will, with^ my iMftt; Good 
*ye.'' • • 

BKft^ were M^iim^s i^ectiiidb bk Jbtottw 
ing his 9!ilstress>*s umieca€iAta(bl«< soefisiige, 
waA stibsequmt resolution. |Ie lovtaA itar 
above all the world. He had set Ms Iteaftt 
iM fc€^, and Imd nev^ wittingly oiBihlded 
^r %y wttrd ^r deed. For all bet thyfuMb, 
tmid tlio maid€ii]ly dfstance that she liadi «£. 
'^Nted •tif late, he had never doabted tifatat 
she r^a^ded idm with partiality. He could 
w>t 4dp oailiDg to T^meinbmiiee tbeisiffiy 
dsp %By if^t togttther in the eouirtry. 
lioiw they had walked and ffeoUned by Ibe 
lovely bum-^gohe hand in hand to oWoh, 
^QftiA retumed intiie mom way hcotitf agfain ; 
-MNt^lMw, Jin ^tesetioe «f het -fumtB^ Ae 



hnnelf, *" me all (n»imAmxm9t»ii»i qome 

>t HJeiiiad bam tli« dailyt cs jbouily visUor 
jq£#i» lodgers^ j^$fc aa it hapfi»ed« Joa^ 
tiild lueiweot to^ioUe^&tagetilier tvoor tliwe 
times a-day^ and letumed in tbe «ame nixii* 
fWi;) speadEmg all their ^aie .hours firom 
itody with one anotiiec But now, all at 
OROBi M'XoDL ahttmted MmselC and vfn no 
mon wem mtlaa tiieir door» With true 
iITiigMijgril spirit^ he took her at her fixst 
ffionl^ uglier tiiiiikiiig of 4he ivfty a» ^nA»ch 
dl0>h^oj6Smded, oainidly, byniByer dmJl^ 
h»lpire koDim/ Day oqim aftor. day» but 
HO Im^T.m gaUaat appeared n«W: to^eitfaer 
irfiour yonng ladies. Wbenr m Ipdt iwas 
heard on the stair» every eyfenefaa tiii;aied to 
lihe dimt^ hoi ^ £»! ahtrays wmt hy4 or 
isto 4iie kitclKn,; the handaeme ifipm^.of 
M^'IoBi jappeated to 3ainte them no mate. 
J[oaa$ii aneiitiaQnataid^y todua fiicsidb^ Jtoom, 
"ifitlioiititaikaog/Mqr notinei^fi tba^ithatige. 
ikJ&ed^'lattaaiiiiy.faaif;. Chamylvras 
itoinUy^iii^/liaatd^; licribsli^ b|w efm 

F 2 



130 TB%/SmJKm f»BILS 

tlp^)i7etoiietuitt}^ ffi9vm luigmt^iu^sL 
SUi looked like a^ohiMit^^bad j9eiWi|«^ 
ftt^ri»rou!» faidtrandmai^ ilfimil'ioi}.)!^^^ 
found oisk Gutty ihJtd' vepmtedif^feief^^^ 
patienee^ had) been tecmKiite^ i^ihm mffl9^ 
and bad s(iin&h^>esre£ £llBOjlicii^ ^com^^ 
to her kir^r^ iAi<iahaa)WBiei'Qfffc}i^iSi:q/^; 
it was that o£ ceol jrefleetitn.. !^f !9/^ap&'i]ip 
may nei^er have ^ boasted ^f wy^^fSs^offffg* 
thought 'she, ^ and wby should I !^e«P/iw 
hardly of him? By ?maiu£eHiliuigi>iHph :a 
high sensp of ivroBg for ootbiogv^ XiQWi (f^ 
expose^ myfielfc Why mfty n©k. I jiraitrft 
while ilith:patiedoe» aad; by fidbpci^g 4 jiltle 
in my haughty demeaiUHU) towafd; hiin^i'I 
may ^eb bear » tbs : only woida fos wimk • J 
would idsb taiive;?'^> , . , ; . . 

But %<tbevtime she had assumed this 
mild oondesomdiDg^maod^JMSti lover hl^ 
gun /to absoit bimkiliifvand Htwaa^^asamed 
in vaiiiu M^ny/antiflnf the blood] nuhtid to 
her dtoek/fbitnvelliabfithilew hi^ 4K»ton the 
stair ; and whea^iiziaetftxwd ixi\pi\mi^ ihe 
landifi^4iIacc;,ohqit>*ttre»Ar w%>iild^ciifc!ahi«Bt^ ; 



W^fipe^h>^Qifitii w^. rWlmkrittled 

'M'^im^h, <whe» xereml ^y& /IimI paJsafid 
i$V«n' ^lidi the Ifiidied .were by ^enmeives, 
Hhi J^l&^isOtt asfced if any of tiiem bad 
giveil!«£lbnce to you&g Borokiid ? ^^, iMot 
I,^ mid Glatty ; *' I fieyetr ganre the y^ing 
AitdiiiiMyJofl^de in my life^ .exGepi;pexl]0ps 
itt^leacUii%><h»ii to keep a doei.dktopoe, 
"iM^h Jii^ t^ aU in good part. Perbiips 
ksoiMifl Cbeinry may lunre'bem.tdJ^gtihj^ 
sotb^jTie^iflatiees'Otit of theihoiiae^ m f]%ht- 
ing him by making mooeloTO tahim.'') 
; Cbm?y uevte/lifted upJuer )^e9f biu^;kept 
lobkin^'firtedfittidy at her^^am* andbotbo^f 
tbMT instantly lousw hvi][eie tiio bbmeidi^. 
'^ Wbttthafd<yoUvbc«U8aypiig(Min£Si^ 
^?f^^ sftid^ Mtd^^^tJcdiBini^ ialattjtjciqfiated 
liie qittatknv' ^S«ai«h&re;Yifa» tau msmut, 
bnt dief'saw*«.tett>drapjio(D)tfae;«iiiibvic 
that she was 8o busy in sewing. 



lafi THE.naKsr'TaoEiiLs 

vatissootvviensiti0s^ i {^u^^sodmifMid fai>* 
i^ imB not seiated' ^tbcn &&]^'^r8n(i* 
Gatty^ - « .^c- i ,.'■.: . ...... .• .(ii(f{ 

**' I ]ia;ve«mdiiothiiigJbiit ilte.tt^^ 
<yf that I ^1 never "be ashamied," BtiA) she; 
V ^' But yon are adiamedy eoHsnt;. and tiMrfe 
dbame 4m jam I)row> and bkidi oB^yAur 
dhedk, are tell4ale6* If one^ tiiay ciodit 
them> you have^io^be^itdiingliietirudi/' 

'^ After you have Ibiuid me out telfisig a 
Me, I gm ym leawe tO'discredit me all t^ 
rest of' my life« I UM M'lon no ines, but 
ike plasm honest tinith^ \ivinich I wi^ M]d&- 
wise tdl now ( &r I tfaiak ndbody sfaonM 
6ay that of tliesr r&iends liehind iAxm hacks, 
widfihl^ey •cannot 6ayl)e&retJidrlac6& I 
would not 4o «uq1i a dbfing Hot tbe wkde 
tcnvn of Gattensub. £b I told hmt tibat 
you bad dewed tne to fiulnd Iihn tfaia 
^himse; m^ at leasts that you tsent your oom*- 
|dioEieBt8^(and:i«pe0l3d^ henkmldshew 
Ms&gehfis^aa seldom^aa it suited las oon- 
vmiBQBojii; Sat I g«e 'it ijps&hsbf^ yaar 
mrhinm^ Bsfr/tfa^ vsntafidSariiotldiig; 
for I told hun that I ahioluteiy refuse to 



d/SfrnfoyiasaKjiaiB^^ not 

mw^ Mm, 3XiAmK'mk -fo jbedtfrisned'of Jib 
dM9dfiyfi]^y«iriwliiiDide& fio tiitii:! ic^ 
inm, i;liat vrlien you heard tSm, ytm ioatsiA-^^ 
if^mvdbiti1toi}^iim}4BL^ii^ <came mod k^kt 
yd^ihmy lionitt» that yim might be ftoed 
flnli hifirdotrBBicns.'' 

mBefcooB tibiM short speech twas isondiided, 
GiAtf had drai^od colour ^ree tiHies; 
but miyiki adigiit degree. Mrs JohnsoBL 
•mtmtA into t ^rtrain of sharp leasonizig 
mt& Cherry ton tihe i mp ropriety of h«: coDr 
dodt^floid h0vnmtenalde her priiic]|ifes were, 
nfiifa i^gard to the retailing of private <3oii- 
^teatioajs* In the mieantiine, Gatty had 
a Ikde time to ireflect on ithe irgndUbcioiiB 
^posmie her ivvitless ootisuiL Jbad mads^ of 
iKBT^iMngs, and her caprice ; and how li- 
Jkiiknn a £gnte dbe n#w was dDomed. to 
makein the^yes^ the yonidt nKhoseesteem 
aboe she Tofaied* Xhaesejceflectums were 
not to be 'borne; tk^ iteranyd the icg^nlar 
ament <tf <^ fonatain of life^ sending It to 
^GfjjIkMaAsai and badk to d&e; heart ^e^ 



pale and' Ilfele^ ^ tlie ^ .^ Sfafe^tMlg^iii 
in Ilet arms, rubbed h^r tetKt|ilgsv aiid^bd^jft 
for Cberry to run for hrilpl Bliiia^iMttl 
tears, and tetlf distracted^ €b^<ry' i^iifrft# 
assistsAce; and, by a kind «€* natvlrdUii^ 
stinct, ran straight into : Melon's r60ih,'4e^ 
treating bim in the most frantie^^l^^ta 
ixmieddwn stairs, for^hat^hereouMnrMiii^ 
BeH/^s dead; ^ ^ ^ '- 

** Bead P exdattaed M^Ion, dstbffh^ 
his booK cin the hearth ; •* God in^Hea^ft^ 
f&iiM \^* and; m his night-gown and *^Ii^ 
pers as he ivas, in a moment he stood at 
Gatty's side, and had, her by the Ittud/ 
** Was^ this change momently ?'* said he. 
Mrs Johnson answered 'that it was/ f^ Then 
I hope it is only a swoon, and th*t'*he will 
soon reanimate.'*' HeheJdher artfc fe bcHfe 
his hands, atid loc&ed at hc^ fkice, fie^beb^ 
was &1I^ bade over Mrs Johnson^ arm i 



mueh as quiver/' said he, *^9);l4r:hfr{J{f^li^ 

but/iiiH^fip^g itftlMr^i he-agaiQ ):aA,toi bis 
iQiinif ^d as i{i9taB% returning hejuroq^edr 
ed< t|:t^/f)^jbl«Qd; But by this time J^Cts 
M'OnA^^Myay oome into the xooxd, wjbbq» 
pere^iviiiig^the yumag gentleman's bacbd sha^ 
king 4fl[ i^^i9 had been, strode with a pids]^. 
she took him by the shoulder andtttni^ hi?l 
awa^0fid((icla4r% that he should ijiot^ break 
eith^KK living or dead, womaix's sMn ^^ihesii 
house^.^tb ^ hand 9hakiDg in that j^an«* 
nor. ^^ It*g ten changes tQ ane jth^tt hf? hit?, 
the vein by half an inch," «aid iihe. v^VQd^ 
the man's no fit to Jiet blood of a HigU^d 
qu^iiH si^ ^ ^u^ndary as thaV'. M'IqV» 
who n^te^'hM pTfa agitation, aoiuies^ed ii| 
the o%iQw Aaw^^ fpanijiatc, anid i^ve pl^ 
tother^pdaj:siwrgB9i»wj^«^^^^^ 



ie6 THE Tsmsm j«eils 

<e&Arittd ha^ iiA&hm ami r(N)iiv.iMif|lai^/^^ 
ctt the bed; biub BtsU i^e^^ diswvi^c^liat 
fifiigiiiB<£]tt]inmig Iife» and, o(is§mm^^ 

ted aefSxiS timai begitai to icry^ and ieD^MH 
aatra exitenaty, imt ima as oftoa cbeijk^ 
li^ Mn Johsflon, lest she edicmld &U JM* 
kytsteiics. The stugeini boiuui W mm 
and rabbed it — tight^ed the ligatttre^ add 
rubbed agais, ^mng ererjr oobumq lAOtiwid 
of festaring animatioB^ imd aU ivkb* tb^ 
isame efi^ett ^tbe irem woulid natirifie) !a|4 
tihie kDcettdiadeaiity a white vf(mi^4'*- ^n^" 
Bind M'liDn^ ^ if this is only a fittntsog 4b 
merely it is ctoe tif tnone than ordjmay dur 
mttoQ?" The dofltar held ^uipeaee»4;M^ 
ing^ Ids finger chise eat the pake, and/jy^ 
i^e^fl^ed Oil her &te. At kogth, aftex a 
iM^ttiid aaxious pauses jbe said» ^' I fisar it 
JiiJE^xftTef, and tiwt Jife is indeed Mimt 
QLi'ibttt nm fa(Hiie for wme dp^ptoita^; ^^nd 
I besseeh <ihat y^au will iitaba&tly aelid ^ 



41!^]} < JiM ittlikidkiwii«t)tfae:in3k (tfitfe 

Smii^dd «f tmm^ forncm nie£e«l asskb^ 
Hm^, Hdl'^to tocAciBgcvt jsome of lier rMkat 
nMI MMBt lieaatiftLl sbeet^ Tvhereon to kf 
«iit«tf^ a^eomely wtji&e, tlnnking to herself 
«fl3the ^fMle titiit this buriai wofold torn oxst 
^iMest^eaiKtthat fadd &li»Q toJaw houaeaafow 
llle ^bythat silt fitErf; opened it fi)r lodgers. 
M^oB, b^xig tlMs left the only efficient hor 
lag'beAde his still adored mistt^ss, be. {fwt 
im arm kokm her hea4 ^a^ raieed her up 
K^')3i^ hdf ditttng passtion. HJaving donp 
^(il^^ pot his light saja&iBOxmi her hceart^ 
txA, sfoeeiDiag ka lamA to his hoioQi, jiied 
a Idod of tears on her neck^ crying out» in 
stiied ^oc^Dts, '' O God of li&d i^tore 
ktr ! rastuto her ! Destore her !" AnA^ ha- 
¥i^ ^yed tfauSy he pressed her pale and 
flftcad fips to hia. While in lihis; affaotbg 
fmtiAim^ ^hfaing xirithtbet^asigHish of «dea- 
pair^ and unaow by mortal eye^ ha &lt her 



jas TSEr/BBxam viB,iLa 



- ti ian iB i w imgcfaHHriM^^ Imi^ilk.i '^d^lEikf^ 

answered him likeio«et]e$»ftkic^^^m«9gl)JH^ 
ilcep. At l^gth:li« p^DsiT^t^lybbiA 
insondatzesB andihisws^lf i^ere; S^ff^SHlfiiiP 
B'ioo^t ot blood. : Hear, ap^iijnr^^ j^ 
ASitioKaed bQimd, had hixae^ f^^^^k^f^^^M^ 
and^Med most ^opional]^. Jn it\W>'^^al&tKf|P 
4w «iMing whon the; doo^r rj^ijtitip^^ sup- 
portH^ «l|e lady i» his ar|nB^,j#(| ^MJlf 
^Qovo-ed tnae Tritb licv. blood, ^)u}^^h^f|;]pig- 



inffhedietaiini tft aoKsibiljilty. .; T]^ mss^ 

4agt«sd^i«tt«ed up thp fi»r8e,j,t<ilJv^[^ 
:ail.«ni8 >«ell, «ad for(»ng h«r;oi^ jt^ 1^. 
J^.<ijW; tiflae Mrs ,M*(^l^ei;j]^t/i3[}n^^, 



ta^%^^eAifrom>iMil gukfi^kmicBifaaiaJiiA 

ikd^di^'tlie bed^Vr Oh wortr, dxs^ my giud 
lii»Uay<id !'^f 'deiOaa^it is/iittofy. nnutei^ 
litia^^ lue gbod ien |>i>imd». iKfyvfioe 

6tW^ tegtf jfttt'tiow, if yduplewdf. 'i 
"jjij^d^gu^ Was 'fitirif ilrashedj vl]%st 
vSi^eo^'it iftrevd >ni& to li!et!AlM(^^iiB.s^ 
M^^He 1^11 knew, atld'M d)d-l»^ 'Heithsii 
t(D4)ed'tb ]tf*Ibn> tad^8k«cliUiiii(i?itii gxttt 
H4iS!eyif he WM'th^yotftg^liidyis 4iirotli||eP 
'B.i sn^vytered is the'&^gkiftrd^ititb^ioiilfis 
Hbtt/'nb^tkjfoA '«ilKMHi&«iit> I ' bot^-ttes'^^tll^ 
^ifiKfedV'^ J3^UMi$t k>iiei6ieUii7'tlDtt!«fti»4fe 



isdD THE nmnpn^iLs 

jroii/iiMe <ady dan* n^liat it 'befa()4ctf ' ^v^ 
«qiariaitiQsar torhoM dmeitt sisdb an em^ 

M*Im imsDt to fakoim tmiii, alid di^ 
edli&Dsdfy bat W8tt^ in vain fbr word to 
letum/ Growing impatient, he waitrdo^ 
and tfirpped at tibe door, fond was addiitted 
by Cherry at once, who opened it, aiid oixl^ 
to all his inqniries continued repeafib^,* 
^ C<Ane in,*eome in." He entered aceoird- 
inglyr and fomid die two matrons iii attoiA- 
«iim, the doctor lianng retired* 6atty^vas 
stffl ^extmmdy nneasy and unsettled, re- 
peating the name ctf M'lon fixiquently witU 
^seat iehelDMsiee, asad in apparent a^tatm. 
Mrs Johnson '&It the utmost anxiety on 
thiaiaetMn«^'feetHng she would both conir- 
mit heriself, ^^bd'^eult the yoiing gentife- 
mm whomithey aH fitted so highly, and 
wbMe hUM 4kiAwSit they to deeply regret- 
led. The sight of -h«to,fetcta in that half 
inaettl^aite (Statei hMH;uJri)ed Gatty^s Wander- 
ing* ?lh«i!^«^4o'tfa6 th^Me^ for abe b^^ 
talkkig^f Ifitt '^^4t^ »iore 4^jflfenibtfte'^&^ 



was it that told M'lon? Was it you ?- ofr 
79%^, .It^k yMr piuk. ta expoie me iaibom 
w^iWOie onlj to see the aeliodnets of tikr 

.^^jiS^" said Mrs Johnscai, ^ tfc. appears 
t]^ 3DfW ^r^ie^ee agitates her too much $ 
le^iff^. h^ of yott to mthdmw." He did 
so^ muttervQg to himself as he \feat, ^' This 
TOyked antqpatbys amountimg^ it wouM 
SQ^, ^hpfost to hatr^, is certmily vety 
es^aciirdiiiaErii;* Nay^it i8(Bioii»;.itisb(iA 
imnatuval a&d aDgeneroos. Wayward aad 
ungnfteful Agatha ! It shall. hea wldle 
my xvmexMO tormeat yon agaiHv'. 

.Alas ! littde knew he the hidim 
timoats « ih^ ralue of die heart he wav 
breaking. But he deemed that she was m^ 
qpipxxg, m high displeasioe^ who told hkat 
to^jQi^e into her preseaee. 

<gatty, sgen rc^veied, but HcmtiAued ism 
loffjjfst^ i^gHid stafceen thaiiyftan^^Mft imd^ 



14 



Tsm THE-'Wilili(l»lM«llLS 

had: aiteiidediiitatei^ 
nifefttiiig great ii(mQw«aiidba9iA;a{i(m^ 
die hdard' that, nfl liutfeoBim m^^t 4h^ 
nished/End afi tiieauppceodtftiidiiAmi^ 
injuries that he had conuiuttBd^iii^bimfMg^ 
of her affections sunk away, 0mA\'mm^m' 
bdieved aa some mtmeamng^ddm^e. , IHle 
had foi^ivea aU in her h^ai^^.a^dllMI^Sct 
more tQ^aoe Ida. face, bear Mm^ieak»4UMl 
say some words of kindn^s aaid a*ecpi|^]|a«* 
ti(m to him, thaia: for ^U thii^a she had #«er 
desired iu her life; aiid» expeeliiigibiiiintofAU 
and ask for her, she arose and drosMd hesc^ 
sdf nes:t'day,aiideame into the p^rleinb ti^^^ 
he might h&ve no exeuae fornet seeii^ her. 
Sheer^i toi)k saote pains in dressing hi^r- 
self* tihat Burning ^n dbe had ever d^e 
before ; and though ]^ln|;ed^ like: a siqk ger«. 
son, itbecaDM hj^ ipipstebspmngly. Mrs, 
M'Grinder was t^e^^ttp Qba^l^ Af-; 
ter asking her bpw. she* did sit^xkpuw^ske 
added, '' There's nae doubts Miss Bell,^ hut; 
death will mtake angels o' s<^me o' us, if no, 
of us a' ; at least the ministers gar us trow 






jawitiilflfirH'J^igcrNt ssmffOiLlqok half sq 
bMHUildii ¥i0it aare |«rt Uke .a xh^w ca«a* 
t^TP^disiim wmetfiiiig newly <»st off the 
flMifcmiiig 'iiont^lar fi' pftttenn. Na, but 
l<Wii<li»il€fifladteiE^ gm I be speaking beside 



iitNSll»<ajiiti«*s eertification, that Miss Bdl 
loflRid'dbiimidtig ; and the oonsciimsness of 
beittirf lent that nenret failing dmrm, that 
ii£|W^v«e^ it mtfie than all the borrowed 
rdMH^lMi^omaiAents that the world produ- 
ceri^ti W%atr a> jnty that M'lon would not 
(xtm^ l»«whfle ihat lovely bltom eontinued ! 
Itli'ttlltlethat most m^ ksiow mtixex what 
is 9t6d'4n what is thought of theaoi and it 
is Mita^titnes a merey that i<i is so< But O, 
whttt a grievoas ^oumstanoe it was, that 
on^'iihonld be sitting d&etting aad^ning ifi 
on^Toom, ftom an idea that he is &rbid ad- 
mtsbioa'ifttothe one next him; aaid that 
another ^ar object should be sitting in this 
latteH Hlfe la trani^lanted flower blighted in 



144 TH£ .THBBB PSAILS 

V 

the bud, firetting, and pining erenwcm^ be- 
cause he will not enter. One woifld have 
thought that an ecelaircissement might 
easily have been brought about in such a 
ease ; but it s^ems that etiquette had with- 
stood that, £Dr it was neirer effected. 



OF WOMAN. 145 



CIKCLE THIRD, 

That very evening, who should arrive 
with the Pringleton coach, but our good 
£nend Daniel Bell, and with him his ne- 
phew-inJaw, that is, his wife's brother's 
gon, Richard Rickleton, Esq. of Burlhope, 
and farmer of seventeen thousand acres of 
land, on the two sides of the Border. He 
was a real clod-pole — ^a moss-jumper — a man 
of bones, thews, and sinews, with no more 
mind or ingenuity than an owl ; men nick- 
named him the heather -hhoter^ from hi6 
odd way of laughing, for that laugh could 
hare been heard for five miles all around, 
on a calm evenings by the Border fells,— 
and, for brevity's sake, it was often con* 
traeted into the blocter. But, with all these 
oddities, Richard Rickleton was as rich as 

VOL. li G 



146 THE THREE PERILS 

Croesus ; at least he was ridher, by hk own 
account, than Simon Dodd of Rainshope, 
and that seemed to be the ultimatum of 
his ambition. 

The cause of Richard's coming to Edin- 
burgh was no other than to commence an 
acquaintance and courtship with his cousin. 
Miss Bell, and that at the suggestion of 
both her parents. From the tenor of tfadir 
daughter's letters, they both agreed that 
something more thaii ordinary was the Inat- 
ter with her ; and, though none of them 
ventured to pronounce what that something 
was, they also agreed that the sooner they 
could get a husband for her the better, for 
they both suspected, what they dreaded to 
say, that there was some love disappoint- 
ment in the case« They were also aware, 
that a disappointed maiden is seldom hard 
to please in her next choice ; so they con- 
cluded that they might eaisily bring about 
a marriage with her cousin Dick, which 
would prove what is termed'^ gd^ bein 
doumnsittinff. At all events, M*s Bell had 
often hint^ at such a project long before. 



OF WOMAN. 147 

Imt Ihiniel always put it off the best way 
he could. Findmg now, however, that tiiere 
was like to be no hope of his darling M'lon,^ 
he yielded to his wife's project. Dickie was^ 
delighted beyond all bounds with the pro- 
posalf and many a bog-shaking laugh it 
afforded him, both before he set out, and by 
the way. — " Sutor me, uncle," said he, " if I 
has nae forgotten what the wonch'is like ! 
But I hopes that she stands gay and ti^t 
on her shank-beams, &nd has a right weel- 
plenished&ce— Hoo«hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo ! 
I's gang wi' thee, and see what she's like ; 
and, wod, if I likes her, I's gie her a fair 
bode. O how I wod like to suter Simey 
Dodd ! — Babbit him for a massy chit ! — 
He wad gar fo'ks trow that naebody has 
siller but the sel o' him— Hoo-hoo-hoo ! — 
^m do my thing but he^ — Hoo4w)o-hoo !" 
Well, to Edinburgh comes our new woo- 
er, escorted by no less a man than the fa« 
tber of his intended sweetheart. She was 
sittiqg.vOi^.the sofa, casting many a wist^ 
look tK)w,^^ the door, when, all of a suddep* 
she heard a noise, as if horses had been 



148 THE THREE PERILS 

c(»ning up the stair> and the next moment, 
hei- father and Richard Rickleton, Eisquire^ 
stood before lier. He was of a Herculean 
make, with red hair, immense whiskers of 
the same colour, his &ce all over freckled, 
and mostly overgrown with thin hairs, of 
the colour of new mahogany. He neither 
bowed, nor beckoned, nor opened his lips, 
but came striding in, rubbing his hands, 
and making for the fire-place. 

" Gatty, my dear bairn, what has been 
the matter with you ?" said Daniel, on en- 
tering, — ^* have you been ill?" 

Gatty was so overcome at the sight of 
her father, and so perplexed about the cause 
of his coming, that she could not answer 
him, farther than by giving him her hand, 
which was moist and warm. Mrs Johnson 
answered for her, and told him that she had 
been a little indisposed the foregoing even-r 
ing, but was quite recovered. 

" Wod, I likes the wendbi middling wed, 
uncle!" saidDickie ; " sutor me if I dis not!" 

** Gatty dear, this is your cousin, Mr 
Bickleton, come to see you," said Daniel ; 



OF WOMAN, 149 

" you Have met with Mrs Johnson, sir, be- 
fore this, as well as your other little lovely 
cousin here.** 

*^ Snuffs o' tobacco !'' said Dickie ; and 
coming close up to Gatty, he looked in her 
face, keeping his hands stUl below his coat 
and behind his back. ** Why, cousin Aggy, 
is tou married ?" said he. 

" What a question, sir !** returned she. 

" Why, because, d'ye see, cousin, that 
baith thee dress and thee cheek looks some- 
thing wife-like — ^Anda devilish bonny wifie 
thou wad be, too ! Sutoif me an I wadna 
gie a hunner punn that Simey Dodd saw 
thee sitting in the nook at Burlhdpe-hia', in 
that same style — ^Hoo-hoo-hoo !" 

The ladies looked all at one another, and 
every one joined in the laugh, although it 
was so obstreperous, that they were ashamed 
to hear such a sound in their dwelling; But 
a joining in his laugh being a compliment 
seldom paid to Dickie, he went on, in a 
voice louder than that of a drill-serjeant — 
** And, ower and aboon that, cousin Aggy, 
an thou he's, not a wife already, rabbit you ! 



150 THE THREE PERILS 

is it not a very easy thing to make thee 
one? — Hoo-faoo-hoo ! Eh? — Hoo-hoo-hoo i 
Eh— What says thee to that?— Oh, thou 
says naething at all — thou's hlate and mim- 
tnou'd, wi' thy tale ! Weel, weel, thoult 
soon get aboon that — Hoo-hoo-hoo !" 

Daniel asked for his son Joe, and for his 
young friend M'lon, and was told that 
they were together in the latter's room, and, 
as usual, seldom asunder. He instantly 
desired to see them, and sent Cherry up 
stairs with his compliments. M^Ion, how* 
ever, excused himself, but requested that 
his worthy friend Mr Bell, and his nephew, 
would join him at half past five to dinner, 
as he had a friend or two to be with him, 
whom he could not leave, to enjoy the com- 
pany of his Border friends in any other 
way. When the message came down stairs, 
Daniel looked his watch — " Half past five!'* 
exclaimed he ; *' I fancy the chiel means to 
make it dinner and supper baith, and save 
a meal ! But there's aye unco little scran 
gaun amang women — ^I daresay we maun 
take the hint. Laird, what say you to it ?** 



OF WOMAN. 151 

" SmiflEs o' tobacco, uncle !'' said Dickie; 
** what care I where I get my dinner ! I 
likes to get something worth the while o' 
eating and drinking, but I disna trouble my 
head in what place I gets it, or wha I gets 
it frae. M*Ion? — Is that the blade that 
sUghtit my cousin Aggy there, and maist 
gart her coup the creels for sake o' him?" 

AH the party stared at each other, with 
looks of consternation. This irreclaimable 
rudeness was too much for them, especially 
for the nerves of Miss Bell, not yet in a 
state of perfect repair ; and Mrs Johnson, 
seeing her begin to change colour, was 
alarmed, and tried to check the volubility 
of this Ajax, but to no purpose. — " SnuiFs 
o* tobacco, auld roodess!" exclaimed he, 
** what hae ye to say ? Oh ay, cousin Aggy, 
I kens where I is now ! — and I can tell thee 
I has nae warm side to the buck neither — 
very little thing will gar me cross horns wf 
him ! An thou had been a common-looking 
queap, I wad never hae mindit, but to gie 
the glaiks to a wench like thee !— Damn 
him if I disna sutor him for't !'' 



152 THE THREE PERILS 

Joseph, who had come into the room in 
the interim, hearing thid ad^ess, langhed 
at it with such violence, that he sunk on 
the floor, and, with a boyish knavery, anti* 
cipated some grand fun &om the arrival of 
his cousin Dick, for he knew him well, and 
always staid a week or two with him eacb 
summer. Joseph staid no longer than to 
salute his father, but hasted up stairs again 
to his £dend, and with a countenance beam- 
ing delight, annoimced the arrival of tisie 
redoubted laird of Burlhope, dating his 
hands meantime, ^d exdaimu^, '* Oh; 
what .glorious fun we shall have with him ! 
You never met with such a fellow in your 
life, sir ! If you will but fill him half drunks 
he will go out to any of the streets in £din-» 
burgh without his hat> and dare every man 
there to single battle !" 

^ I should be very sorry to see any friend 
of mine make such an exhibition, or of your 
pwn either, my dear Joseph. Pray, has he 
nothing else to recommend him save sadi 
extravagancies as these ?" ^.. 

^' O yes, sir ; he is a great natural philo- 



or WOMAN. 153 

riopher, equal, in some respects, to our Pro- 
fessor, and &r exceeding him in others.— 
F<Hr instance, if you should ask him about 
die bird called bjthe Borderers the heather- 
bhoter, what a striking and feeling descrip. 
tion he will give you of it ; or of the little 
wolf-dog; he is equally entertaining and 
intelligent about both these in particular, 
and many odier heavier matters. I am sure 
that, befinre you and he part, you sEall 
acknowledge him the most original fellow 
you have ever met with.*' 

M*Ion then went away, and engaged two 
of his friends to dine with him, beside the 
two Borderers ; for he had engaged none be- 
Ibre, that having been merely a pretence to 
excuse himself froin meeting with Gatty, 
at whose behaviour he had been much dis- 
pleased of late, and highly aflPtonted. But 
he knew there were always plenty of his 
countrymen ready to accept of an invitation 
to dinner, even on short notioe ; according- 
ly he procured two to join him, whom he 
:Aipposed would be as great ori^nala in the 
^es of the Borderer as the latter would be 
g2 



1541 THE THREE PERILS 

m theirs. These were Galium Gun, and 
Peter M*Turk, both late officers of certain 
regiments no longer existing, two genuine 
Highland mountaineers ; and to their dinner 
all the four came at the appointed hour, as 
well as Joseph, who had joined his father 
and cousin. 

The remarks of the laird of Burlhope 
during dinner were such as to make the 
Highlanders stare ; for the former, valuing 
himself only onhis riches and bodily strength, 
not only neglected,but despised, all the little 
elegant rules of courtesy. He would at one 
time have broken any man's head who woultt 
have disputed his being richer than Simtij^ 
Dodd, but he now insisted on being twice 
as rich, at the peril of life and death. At 
this time, however, he ran no risk of siich a 
dispute, for these north-country gentlemen 
knew nothing of either him or the object of 
his jealousy. But by the time the doth was 
removed, the bluntness and homelineiss of 
his remarks caused them several times id 
break out into a roar of laughter. Old Da- 
niel rather felt uneasy at this, for he heard 



OF WOMANa 155 

that these were laughsof derision ; hiiilMek, 
observing no such symptoms, joined them 
vdthhisHoo-hoo-hoo,in its mosttremendous 
temiquaver. These vociferous notes still 
taised the laugh against him, though every 
one present felt for him, except Galium Gun 
and Joseph, who both enjoyed his boorish 
arrogance mightily, deeming that the more 
ridiculous he made himself, the sport was 
still the better ; therefore, at some of his 
rude and indehcate jokes, Galium clapped 
his hands^ and laughed even louder thaii 
the laird himself. The latter was so much 
pleased with this, that he turned to M'^Ion, 
who sat next him, and asked him what was 
the chap's name ? 

« Galium Gun," said Mlon. 

** Eh? do they really call him Gun?'' 
said Dick.—" By my faith, I wad break 
ony man's head that wad call me sic a daft- 
like name !" 

" It is his own name, sir," said M*Ion, 
" his father's name, and the name of his 
clan," 



156 THE THEi:£ PERILS 

« Hoo-hoo-hoor vociferated Bidc^ 
'^ heaxd ever ony body sic a made lee as 
that ?— Hoo^hoo-hoo ! — A gun his father ? 
I wad hae thor^ht less an his mother had 
been a gun, and then he might hae cconed 
into the world wi' a thudd ! Then, accord^ 
ing to thy tale, he's the son of a gun^ and 
that used to be thought a name o* great in« 
sultation at our skule.«--Na, na, Maister 
Mackane, ye maunna try to tak in dmple 
fo'k that gate.-^Ye may tak in a bit green 
awaup of a wondi, but ye maunna try to 
tak in men firae the same ^imtry."* 

M'lon looked at Mr Bdl with astonisrih* 
m^t, as if expecting some explanation, but 
the old man only blushed to the top of his 
nose, and then, to hide this confession of 
gliilt, he applied his handkerchief, and ut- 
tared a nasal sound louder than a post«hom» 
Joseph was like to &11 from his chair with 
laughing ; and Galium, rolling h^U eyes from 
one face to another, felt great inclination to 
join Josq^h, but the looks of his entertain- 
er and the other stranger deterred him: He 



OF WOMAN. 157 

cb«]d not ^ fw all tbaf , help joming the 
youth now and then with a loud *^ Ehdi !"* 
whieh he as quickly cut short and restrained; 

Dick was no judge of countenances, and 
knew not one sort of expression &om an- 
otiier, hut, hearing a laugh in tJie party, he 
imagined he had said something exceeding^ 
ly witty, and went on--* — 

^ After a/ I disna see what right ony 
chap has to blaw in a young thing's lug^ 
tiU he has made her that saft and soupple 
to his will, that he may twine her round 
his finger, and then to turn his hack and 
leave her lying in the slough o^ despond^*^ 
I thinks that a blade wha wad do tiiat 
should hae his haffats doutit.' - 

** Certainly,'' said M^Ion, not in the least 
understanding what Dick meant, or to what 
he alluded ; but, assured that he meant in«^ 
soloitly to some one, and anxious to turn 
his ideas into some other channel, he an«« 
swered — " Certainly ; I think to too, sir. 
Fray, Mr Riekleton, bef<ae I forget,: could 
you procure me a pup from some of your 
Border breeds of dogs P—^I am told that 



158 . THE THEEE FEEILS 

you have many carious and genuine breeds 
in that country. For instance, is there any 
remains of the Uttle wolf-ehg in your neigh- 
bourhood ?" 

Dick gave over eating, raised himself 
slowly up in his chair, turned his face to- 
ward M'lon, clenched his knife firmly in 
his hand, bit his lip, and, with a counte- 
nance altogether inexplicable, looked sted- 
&8tly in Melon's face, without uttering a 
word. M'lon had wished to improve on ond 
of the hints given him by his young friend 
Joseph, desiring to make the boor at least 
tolerable, by drawing him into some sub- 
ject that he liked, and that he understood 
something about ; and quite unconscious of 
having givien any offence, he met Richard's 
eye several times with the most mild and 
gentl^nanly demeanour possible. The lat- 
ter continued his threatening attitude with- 
out moving, fixed in the position of a dog 
that has taken up a dead point. All the 
party sat in silent alarm ; and even Joseph 
gave over laughing, for he perceived his sa- 
vage attitude^ which M'lon did not, he be^ 



OP WOMAN. 159 

ing dtting dose beside him^ and engaged 
in helping some of the party with his good 
cheer. Dick at length, seeing nobody like 
to take any notice of him, or to appear the 
least frightened, broke silence, and, in a 
stentorian voice, said—** I'll tell thee what 
it is, honest man ; bee the Lord, speer thott 
that question at me again, if thou dares^ 
for the life o' thee !" 

** Dares, sir !" said M*Ion, without any 
anger in his voice — " I hope you did not 
mean to apply that term to me by way of 
defianee ? I made the request to you in 
good fellowship, and I shaU certainly do it 
again, until you either comply, or refuse it* 
^-— Can you, I say, procure me from your 
country a breed of the little wotf-chg?^^ 

** Ay, ay ! — ^gayan bauld chap, too !" ex- 
claimed Dick, and again fell to the viands 
before him ; but at every bite and sup he 
took, he uttered soirie term of bitter threat- 
ening. — ** Little wolf-dog, i'faith!— Na 
veryblate neither ! Weel, weel, III niinA 
itr 

^* Thank you, sir," said M*Ion. 

13 



160 THE THBUE PERILS 

'* Thank me, sir T exebumed Dick; 
** rotor me an I disna thank somebody 
though, or them and me pairt T 

CaUum perceiving his savage humour, 
and likewise desirous of dravnng his atten* 
tion to something eke, and knowing of no- 
thing save that which he had been talking 
of before, it struck him that it would be 
better to lead his thoughts again to that, 
or any thing, rather than the little tvolf-dog, 
so he interrupted his smothered dedaixuu 
tions with a speech. 

^^ I beg your pardon, Mr M'lon,'' said he, 
^ but I think you interrupted this gentle-^ 
laian, Mr Rickleton, as he was procee^ng 
with some very interesting remarks about 
a gentleman that had abused the confidence 
of a &ir inamorata; and as I am always 
interested in every thing that relates to the 
other sex, may I b^ of him to let us heu 
that budness thoroughly explained. Fray, 
«r, wer^ you not hinting at some story 
about a fellow, that had whis^red in a girl's 
ear, and who had fallen into a slough, or 
pond, just as the UtHe tt^o^ifeg" popped in?'' 



QF WOMAN. 161 

. ^Little wcilf dog ^ain !" exdaiinedDick; 
^^ whispering, a girl ! a dough and a pond ! 
and all erammed together? Why^tbou 
s<m of a gun, I suppose thou wants a neck- 
shaking, di& thou ?" 

" Nephew, I beg you will tak a wee 
thought where you are,''Said Dapiel,^'andno 
speak to gentlemen as they were your toop 
herds. You hear the st(»ry of the /i^ ii;o^ 
dcg and the ostler's wife has been tauld a^ 
the way to Edinburgh ; and ye ken gentiew 
men maun be letting gang thae hits at aae 
anither. Let me hear anithar ill word out 
o' your mduth, and I'll soon put thee down." 

Richard wanted to ^ow off before his 
uoele in courage and strength, and felt no 
disposition, at that present time, to go ta 
h^erheads with him, so he judged it pro- 
per to sueoumb, and he again sunk into the 
ffiUeni^ muttering ooeasioiiaUy to himself 
such words as these : ** Dammit, but TU 
wolf dog them yet! them! the heeland pi-* 
pers!" In short, he continued so surly 
through a part of the afternoon, and oon-*^ 
trived to render himself so disagreeable iu 



16s THE THBEE PERILS 

Spite of all that could be done to please him* 
tibat at length^ when the wine began to 
operate a little, none of thethreenorth-coun* 
try gentlemen cared any Airther how much 
they offended him, for they all felt ofiFended 
with him already, but judged him below 
their notice, &rther than to make game <£ 

Accordingly, at a convenient time, M'- 
lon thought he would make an experiment 
of the other hint given him by his young 
fiiend Joseph, who, at his father's command^ 
had by that time gone down stairs to the 
ladies. To be sure the last had succeeded 
remarkably ill, but it was likely this would 
succeed better, and if not he did not care. 
^* Is there a creature on the Border fells that 
they call a heather-blooter ?'' said M'lon 
carelessly, looking Dick in the face. 

^' Wha the devil bade thee ax siccen a 
question as that, mun ?" returned Dickie^ 
•* rU tell thee what it is, sur — ^Here I sit. 
My name is Richard Rickleton, Esquire. 
I am laird of Burlhope, a fireehauder i' the 
ooonty o' Northoomberland, a trustee on the 
turnpike roads, and farmer o' seventeen thoii^ 



OF WOMAN. 16* 

sand acres o* land. I hae an tnuckle lying 
siller ower and aboon as wad hire ony three 
BCeilandmen to be flunkies to the deil, and 
I winna sit nae langer to be mockit. I 
scart your buttons, sir." 

** Shen tlemens ! Shentlemens !*' cried Peter 
M*Turk, " what for peing all this prhoud 
offence ? There is such a fellow as the had- 
der-blooter. I have seen her myself, with 
her long nose ; and she pe always calling 
out Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo." 

** I scart your buttons too, sir," said Dick, 
soratdiing the ensign's button with his nail. 
"I suppose thou understands that,dis thou?" 
« Nho— Tamn me if I dhoo!" said Peter, 
with great emphasis. 

** Then I suppose thou understands that, 
dis thou?" rejoined Dick ; and at the same 
time he lent Ensign M^Turk such a tre- 
mendous blow a little above the ear, that it 
knocked him £furly down, and he fell with 
a gfoan on the floor, like a bull from the 
stroke of a butdier's sst. 

" €rood God! what does the brute mean?* 
ened Galium, in a key of boundless rage. 



164 THE THREE PERILS 

^* Sir, this must be an&weted elsewhere, 
and in another manner,'' said M^Ion, open- 
ing the door ; *' you are not fit to sit in tbe 
company of civilized beings — ^I desire you to 
walk out.** 

" Sutor me if I stir from the spot till I 
have satisfaction/' roared Dick in his native 
.bellow. *^ I am a gentleman. My name is 
Richard Rickleton, Esquire. I am laird of 
Burlhope,a frediauder, a trustee on thetum- 
pike roads, and &rmer of seventeen thou- 
sand actes of land. I have been insulted 
here where I stand, and I'll have amends^" 

^* This is my house fi)r the present, sir. 
There shall be no brutal uproar here. I 
say walk out before matters get worse, and 
do not compd me to" force you." 

^* Thou force me ! Nay, coome ; thou's 
.joking now. I should like to see ane double 
thy pith force me either out or in !" 

M'lon in one moment had him by the 
shoulder, and ere Dick had time to get 
his brawny legs set fiirm, or so much as look 
about him, he was at the door, and that 
bolted behind him. But then there arose 
such a bellow of threatening, swearing, and 



OF WOMAN. 165 

heavy blows on the door, and the other door 
on the landing place, that the people within 
were taribly alarmed, and were calling £oac 
the police out at three windows at the s»ne 
time; among the rest, Joseph was callmg as 
loud as any ; such a fracas was marrow to 
his bones. The policemen soon andved, but 
before that time Dick had by main force 
split one of the doors in pieces, though not 
the one that he was turned so quickly out of; 
but they were so dose to one another that 
he Iqiew not which was which, and broke 
up the wrong one. The women of the 
house were crying out " murder" and " rob- 
bers ;" for he was^ cursing and threatening 
death and vengeance on some one they knew 
not who, and miming headlong into every 
room in search of the company he had left. 
The men instantly seized him, and desired 
him to come along ; but such a compliance 
was. the &rthest of any thing from Dick's 
mind. He asked no questions, made no 
excuses, but commencing the attack, laid on 
the policemen with all his might and main^ 
crying out at the same time, ^' a wheen mae 



166 THE TH&B£ PERILS 

heeland devils ! I believe them diieves thinks 
to cany a' the hale warld afore them. Coom^^ 
eoome now, that's not fair ; ane at a time^ 
scoundrels, an it pleases thee ; and I'll let 
thee see what men are made of.'* 

Dick was however &st seciired. haided 
down stairs, and away to the police-office, 
in the middle of an immense crowd of rag* 
gamuffians,among whom was his coudn, Jo- 
seph Bell, enjoying the whole scene in the 
most superb degree. Dick knew nothing 
about policemen, or a police-office, or 
what they were going to do with him, but 
still deemed that it behoved him to fight 
his way out of the scrape he had got into» 
otherwise it would fare the worse with him. 
He conceived himself to be in the same si-- 
tuation as he wont to be when engaged in a 
row at the Border fiiirs, and actually ex^ed 
himself in no ordinary way to overpower his 
adversaries the policemen, who again and 
again pronounced him to be possessed of tiie 
devil. Joseph had taken care by the way to 
spread the report among the mob that it was 
for h^usehreaking he was taken up, and this 



OF TVKKKAN. 167 

piece of m£>nnatioii spread like fire, and was 
aetaally at the police-office before Dick. He 
was there thrust in among a few culprits as 
outrageous and unmanageable as himself, 
though not endowed with half the bodily 
fAxeiDgth ; and there he first learned the ex-* 
t^t of his crime, with the addition that it 
was thought he would strap for it. Dick 
at first denied, asserting that he had only 
broken a head, not a house ; but by degrees 
the truth dawned on his mind, that he had 
broken open a door, and made a bit of a dust 
inahouse; but he asserted, at the same time, 
that he had been most unwarrantably turn- 
ed out of the house by the neck, a thing he 
would never submit to. Joseph turned home 
Bt the door of the police-office, quite over- 
joyed at the scene that had taken place ; and 
k> light and buoyant were his spirits, that 
he. ran home as if treadiug the paths of the 
wind* He hasted up stairs with the news, 
but the party were otherwise engaged, and 
none of them thought proper to go and pro% 
eure the enlargement of the outrageous Bor- 
d^^, leaving him in the meantime to reap 
the fruits of his imprudence. 



168 THE XHBEi: BEEILS 

We ishoiild now return to the party whom 
we left so abruptly with the policemen ; but 
as every one will wish to learn how Dids 
came on in his new birth, we shall fotUow 
him into it, and recount how matters went 
Qiu liiere. At first he strode through and 
through the apartment, filming and m- 
vihg at the treatment he had receired on his 
first coming to Edinburgh; but at length he 
fixed upon a tall raw-boned fellow in a black 
coat, and in the course of a few minutes con- 
srer£^tion,they two were engaged in a quaird* 
Dick was as jealous of a strong man as of 
a rich one, and unless he could be acknow^ 
iedged the superior in eitJier case, he was 
never at ease. He asked the man wh^ he 
was put there fbt ? He answered, that it 
was not for housebreaking, and in a sullen 
mood withdrew. But Dick followed and 
harrassed him with questions and explana- 
ticHis about himself till the man in the black 
coat lost patience ; and, turning to him, he 
asked sternly, if he wanted a quarrel? 

" Why, master, I's ane thatleykes joost 
as wed to have a quorrel as to miss yean 



OF WOMAN. 169 

osy teyme/' a^nswered Richard. " I have 
tofold thee whae I is, and what I have, and 
a' the mischief that I has denne, that gart 
me be brought to this place ; and I think 
it's right unneighhonrly of thee no to tell 
me ae word in return. I fancy thou's some 
broken minister, wi' thy lang black thread^ 
Ittre coat? Or maybe thou's ane o' the 
tinkler gang, that has borrowed a minister's 
coat out p' the lobby on some cauld dark 
night ? — ^Ay, thou may stert to thy feet. I 
kefitd I wad pit theeasteeran there werespirit 
in thee. But afore thou opens thy mouth, 
hear me out. If thou'lt tell me whae thou 
is, and what has been thy crime, I'll gie 
thee a bottle o' wine ; and if thpu winna^ 
I's resolved I'll fight thee. So here's outher 
an open fist or a closed ane for thee, ony o' 
them thou likes.'' 

The tall man with the black coat stared 
at him in surprise, measuring him &omr 
head, to foot ; but of all the sentences in 
Dick's ^eech, there was but one made a« 
dsep impression on his heart. It went even^ 
deeper than his beart, for it penetrated even 

VOL. 1. H 



170 THE THREE PERILS 

to his 8tdmach» and radiating from thenoew 
tlnilled to the soles of his feet. It was thepro? 
liiise of a bottle of wine. Inclination mad^ 
two vain efforts to lift up his right hancU 
which offended prid.e as often pressed down 
again^ but at the third effort the victory was 
won. The bottle of wine, or rather, the 
feeling of thirst prevailed-^his hand sprung 
upward with a jerk — seized on the hand of 
his persecutor — and each of them lending 
their whole force to a brotherly squeeze^ they 
shook each others hands most heartily ; and 
the man in the long black coat leading Rich* 
ard apart to a form, the two sat down to- 
gether. The former then laying the one 
knee over the other, turned his face to Ilieh<* 
ard, and began a formal, and, as his fiiend 
thought, a most eloquent harangue. 

" Sir, that you did hint your suspicions 
l!hat I belonged to the exploded and despi- 
sed race of the wandering Egyptian tribes^ 
is true. But that, sir, I r^ard, or rather 
disregard, as a passing jest. You then tes- 
tified your belief, sir, that I was a decayed 
minister of the gospel ; one of these men 



OF WOMAN. 171 

tbut would rave^ and fume, and act thehy^i 
poerite for a piece of bread, which y^t is de«i» 
nied hitn. No, sir, a greater than any psalms 
singing, benefice-seeking, creamy4ipped sf^ 
cophant is here. I am a gentleman, sir — A 
gentleman in the highest acc^tation of the 
term- ^' 

^^Whoy,mun,that's a character anedis not 
meet with every day, — ^Here, jailors ! Bring 
us in a bottle o' the best wine in Edinbuigh« 
-— Ikennae how thou feels, friend, but rabbit 
me ^n I dinna find that it teaks a thousand 
a-year to uphaud that title, — The wine here! 
yedogso'rpgue catchers and prison keepers.'^ 
The wine was peremptorily reAised, to the 
high chagrin of Dick, and the utt^ discom- 
fiture of the gentleman in the black coat, 
whose voice waxed ^inta*, declining to a 
dry whistling sound as he thus proceeded. 

^Certes, a gentleman bom and bred. Not, 
it is true, of great and ample possessions, but 
of prospects unbounded^ I have dcmemore 
to extend the glory and honour of my eoun« 
try than any man that perhaps ever was bom« 
But how has she rewarded me? With a 



172 THE THREE PERILS 

stepdame's portion indeed! Wefre I to re- 
late to you but one-twentieth part, sir, of the 
injustice I have suffered, it would take in 
the length of this disgraceful night. But 
I will not add to its regrets, by recapitula- 
ting them. — I wish we could have had the 
wine, else I shall not have heart to go on. — 
I am one, sir, of the small gifted class that 
has always soared above the rest of the hu« 
man race, one of those to whom mankind 
have looked up with wonder while living, 
and with regret and admiration when dead. 
You have heard of Homer, sir, of Virgil, 
and of Shakespeare ? Have not you heard 
of Shakespeare, sir ?'* - 

" Whoy, yees, I thinks I have. Wos he 
not a fencing-master ?" returned Dick. 

" Shakespeare a fencing master!** exclaim- 
ed the man in black, holding up both hands. 
" O let not genius seek remuneratioti for the 
thing it was; for beauty, wit, high birth, de- 
sert in service, love, friendship, charity, are 
subj ectsall to envious andcalumniatingtime! 
One touch of nature makes the whole world 
kin I For thee^ most noble, most enlighten- 



OF WOMAN. 173 

ed lofti, knight, gentleman, or be what will 
thy title — Praised be the parents thee exist- 
ence gave! Famed be thy tutor, and thy 
parts of nature ! thrice famed, beyond, be- 
yond all erudition ! But he that disciplined 
thy arms to fight, let Mars divide eternity 
into twain and give him half. I'll not praise 
thy wisdom, which like a bourne, a pale, a 
shore, confines thy spacious and dilated parts ! 
Shakespeare a fencing master ! Well let it 
pass. But that,ha,ha! But that,I say,outbeg- 
gars all in nature. O all ye host of heaven ! O 
earth ! What else ? And shall I couple hell ? 
Oh fie ! hold, hold my heart ! And you, my 
sinews, grow not instant old, but bear me 
stilly up. Shakespeare a fencing master ! 
—Would that we had the wine !'* 

** I kens that I has somehow often heard 
the neame, though I never saw the man. But 
although thy language is rather aboon my 
binn,I (^n gather that thou's the blade thy- 
sel." 

" Thanjf you, sir ; most courteously do I 
thank you ; for your discernment's qilick. 
Xhough last not least, sir. You are right. 



174 THE THEEJS.PSUILS 

Quite^XHmet. F^ay, hare yea skill in cran- 
ielogy that you discovered a latent truth sb 
soon ? a &et that men have doubted even ii^ 
the teeth of obTious demonstration? Pray, 
sir, feel my head. Feel such a protuberanee 
is ther«. And then for adoration, feel sudi 
a bump, sir* It is like the edge of a hatchet 
heel-*-Is it not ?" 

<< Whoy/tis like thou hast met with a bet* 
ter hand at the eudgd than thine own some 
time/' said Diek, feeling his head careless* 
ly, without knowu^ one jot about the mean* 
ing <^ it. *^ But &om the Httle that I does 
know of thee^ I always took thee for some 
great man. And de'il a doubt's o't ; foir aU 
thy long black coat. But pray» sir, I am stiB 
in the dark*~what brought so great a man. 
Ifceie?" 

'' It was lore, sir, precious andimmoortal 
love ! No wonder that my coat be bare. You 
know it to be a costly thing even to keep but 
one mistress, whereas, sir, I have nine. Yes 
i^» I have nine, all of th^n virgins. You 
have heard of the Muses, sir? The nine: 
adorable sisters ?" 



OF WOHAK. 175 

'' Yeeff, I thinks how I has,** said Dick; 
'* their feyther kept a chandler's shop in 
Kelso^ did he not ?*" 

" Sir, thou art a most knavish wag. A 
geiUleman of a shrewd wit as I laive toet 
with/' 

^ So the mo wther of me always said* But» 
Master Shakespeare, are you not an uncon« 
seionable dog to take nine sisters into keep- 
ing ? I am amazed how then: consciences 
would let them. How did you manage to 
woo tiiem all ?" 

*^ I wbo'd them as the lion woos his mate. 
When tibey proved shy, I seized on them by 
fyrce, and held most sweet communion till 
iSie jades grew all benevolence. I thought 
to add a tenth ; a lovely mortal thing, and 
finrce her to espousaL But O, perdition qudl 
tibe strains of woman's voice, and these curst 
terrier dogs — Here do I lie ! Would that 
we had the wine !*' 

**Whoy, imm, and we shall have it too be- 
fore thou and I part. But for love's sake, let 
us have some of thy fanny stories wi* the 
chandler's daughters.'' 



176 THE THREE PERILS 

'' Now by two-headed Janu^ 
Nature hath framed strange fellows in her time; 
Some that will evermore peep through their eyetf; 
And laugh like parrots at s bagjnper. 

I'll tell thee moreof this another time.'' 

Richard still continued as ignorant of the 
rank and profession of his fellow-prisoner as 
ever, but he had some obscure impressions 
that he was a notable fencing-master, and 
had a mind for some trial of strength or 
skill with him, before they parted. At this 
precise time, however, a lieutenant (or mas- 
ter of police, as Richard called him,) came to 
examine such aggressors as had been commit- 
ted ; and there being some witnesses in at- 
tendance who were impatient to be set at li- 
berty, Richard was first brought up to the 
bar between two constables. The judge was 
a pursy old man, with an exceeding large 
red nose, and considerably drunk. 
" WejU, sir, who are you ?" 
"Whoy, sur, I's Richard Rickleton, 
Esquire, the Laird of Burlhope, a fireehaud- 
ei: in the county of Northumberland,, a ,triis- 
tee on the turnpijcp roads, and ftiTOW;, of 
seventeen thousand acres of land." 



OF WOMAN. 177 

** Ayh ! and how came you, sir, from all 
tlmse honours, to be kiddng up a riot in our 
streets here ?" 

^' I wos kicking up no riot on the streets, 
mull. Thou's telling a lee." 

^ Policemen, what is this fellow here 
charged with ?*• 

** With housebreaking, and putting the 
inhabitants in fear of their lives,*' was the 
answer. . ** We were sent for before we went 
to our stations. There were cries of mur- 
der issuing from the upper flat of No. — ; 
and when we went up stairs, we found he 
had split the main door to pieces, and was 
breaking up every apartment in the house, 
swearing and threatening destruction to all 
within." 

^ The man must be a fool, or mad," said 
the Judge. '^ Some drunken scoundrel from 
the country, I suppose." 

" Ney, ney, not so fast. Master Judge ; 
I's neither a scoundrel, nor the blood of 
ane," said Richard ; " and I'll nare be 
called soochan neames by^ any pbony reid- 
nosed capon in your dirty town." 
' H2 



I7S THE THB££ FBRILS 

** I say you wre ^ scoundrel, sir; and 
iioBe but a seomidrel would break iutao' peo* 
ple*s bouses, and threaten th^ir lires.'^ 

^^ I take all here wotnesscis. Dom th^ 
reid-nosed piper, if 111 sit oGfnder soodian 
a name," cried Dick ; and, in one moment^ 
he sprung from between his guards, seizcsd 
the Judge by the throat, back over with 
him, and began a mauling him most fuxi^ 
ously; The Judge reared out in the utmrafc 
horror, '' Seize the dog ! seize the dog^ >for 
God's sake ! choke him ! dboke him ! tako 
the breath from him !" 

The policemen tried to do so witili aU 
their might, but their effinrtis^ united with 
those of the Judge, could not master Didc, 
until they had to procure more assistance 
from without. He was then forced indig* 
nantly into the black-hole, or strong-^room^ 
without farther heating, and locked iq^ se* 
curely, with orders that he should not* be 
Uberated cm bail, till the morrow at the ju^ 
menthour. ' . 

The trial of his mysterious oompJBaiiaii 
came on next, to which Bidiaid listoMttl 
through the key-hole with deep interest. 



owwcmja. 179 

He iasi ^er»eeiitod a beautiful lady» vrbo 
wai replited to be of great fortune, with 
hSss addresses, which dbe always slightiug^ 
he had that evenmg intruded on. her pri- 
taqr, and behaved so rudely and so extras 
vAgantiy, that she was fi)rced to dd^iver 
iSm over to the police. Bichard now heard 
Hmt fab new acquaintance was a poet; one 
of a rhyming dissipated set, calling themr 
aelTes the Burns' Chib, who met periodi^^ 
tieSly at a low tippUng-house, to flatter or 
mock one another. Richard had, howeva^ 
eohceived something very high of a poel^ 
and resolved, if ever he got out of that dun- 
geon, to find out that same Mr Shakespeare, 
whose real name, it appeared, was WiB 
Wagstaff, to give him a bottle of wine, and 
if possible procure an introduction to the 
nine MoYSES, the chandler's daughters of 
Kelso ; and perhaps to this tenth mistreas 
g£ hia too, in whom he had taken a deep 
interest, from tfai^ account he had givaiof 
her in the police-office. 

Biititis time wev?CTe now returning to 
ow party at M'lcm^'s Jbdgings, the hai^- 



190 THE THJMEK PEEILS 

mony of wliose intercourse had been so 
much marred. The moment that M*Ioii 
had turned Dick out of the door^ his atten^ 
tion was turned to his friend M'Tiirk, 
who, in spite of all they could do, remained 
for a long time insensible ; and at lengthy 
when he came to himself, he imagmedhe 
had been knocked down that moment, and 
set himself forthwith to answer Dick's last 
query to him. His mind found him again 
precisely where Dick left him, and at thid; 
same period we must take him up. "I 
scart your buttons, sir,** said Dick; " I 
suppose thou understands that, dis thou ?'V 

^' Nho ;. dhamm me if I dhoo," said Fe* 
ter. 

'VThen I suppose thou understands, that^ 
dis thou ?" said Dick, knocking him down; 

The Ensign lay as long as one wUl na^ 
turally take in reading these intermediate 
pages, andlhen setting up his head, as if it 
had never reached the ground, " Yhes ; 
tham me but I dhoo understand that !" said 
Peter ; and rising up staggering, he pulled 
ouihis dirk^ crying, '^ Fhaire is the dog, of 



OF WOMAN. 18t 

abfaftist, of asaivige? Oh; he is peingte 
]^essed seoundihell ! Is he not ? By te Sas^ 
senach's cot, put I wUl make te miller'a 
sieve of his side ! Fhaire is he, I say?" 

** You must challenge the mongrel, and 
shoot him," said Galium, " else your nanle 
is disgraced. You have been insulted, and 
knocked down at your jfeiend's table." 

** Challenge liim!" exclaimed Peter; 
*^ huh ! and will she not ? She'll put ais 
many pullets through him as there pe hairs 
(m his whole pody. Fhaire is te dhog? 
Challei^ge him ! Hu shay, shay ! Let her 
alone for that." 

** No, no," said M*Ion; " the thing 
cannot be. The fellow that would lift his 
hand against his associarte at table, is a ra- 
gamuJBSan, and can never be challenged as a 
gentleman." 

^' Fhat then is the trhue shentleman to 
do? To stand still when he is knocked 
down, and not to say a word ?'' said Peter 
M^'Turk. 

" That, sir, was my blame," said M*Ion, 
^^ in pladng you at my table beside such a 



182 THE THB££ PERILS 

boor ; and yet I am gmltfess, never Uaviii^ 
in niy life sJeen the fellbw, nor heard of his 
name before * 

M*Ion would have gone on with his ek^ 
planation, but was interrupted by old Da* 
ni^l, who said, in a haughty tone, ** I have 
from the beginning seen how this matter 
would end, that the whole blame would b^ 
c^t on my shoulders ; and I must say at 
tidce, that though I do not approve of m^ 
fi^hew's mode of retaliation, I approve stiH 
less of the manner in which he has be^ 
treated by you. There are some sair Sfib^ 
jects in every man's life, gentlemen— some 
wounds in every character, that it is rather 
unpleasant to have exposed too rudely. On 
these you fixed, in this instance, without 
mercy, driving him intentionally beyond 
forbearance. He has given broken heads 
for these jests before now, nor do I think he 
has acted so very far amiss at present, as £ql 
be called a fellow, a boor, a mongrel, and a 
ragamuffian. What the devil ! Is a country 
gentleman, sir, a freeholder of the county of 
Northumberland, a young man possessed of 



OP WOMAN. 188 

40 mufili property as all tbe bidf^pay offica9> 
of a HigUand xc^ment pat togethfitr/ sjr^ 
to be mocked and insulted i>y a beggarly 
elisi^ of loeal militia^ forsooth? By tbe 
blood of the Border^ sir, I say my nepherr 
£d what he ought to have done. And he 
that says he did not, let him ask satis&c* 
tioQ of me." 

M^Ion was now hardly bested* The 
Uood of the Border, and that of the High^* 
huidfi^ were bdth in a flame, but hd bedkon^ 
ed the young Highlanders to peace, and 
took the responsibility on himself of reply* 
ing to Mr Bell's perilous insinuation. He 
was gding to state to him, that he did not 
Immiw the topics were disagreeable to Mn 
Biddeton, deeming the contrary to have 
been the case. Howerer, the effects of wine 
and wrath prevented this raplanation, for 
he never got &rther than this : — '* I sayi 
he did not what he ought to have done, Mr 
BdL" 

^ Welli I say he did, sir; and if you 
have any thing further to say, you know 
where to find m^" said Daniel, and strode 



184 THE THEEE PERILS 

out at the doorj carrying his head particu* 
larly high. The three young gentlemen 
were^eft in a quandary, gazing at one ano- 
ther ; M*l6n testifying the' deepest grie^ 
and most poignant vexation, at the oflfence 
taken by his worthy and respected friend, 
Mr Bell, whom he said he had for a num- 
ber of years regarded more as a father than 
a common friend. This shut the mouths 
of the other two from uttering any reflec- 
tions on the old man's behaviour, but not 
from the most potent abuse of Kichard, 
whom they loaded with every opprobrious 
^ithet 

During this grand climax of the conver- 
sation, Joseph entered, out of breath, and 
hardly able to articulate with delight, as he 
gave them the history of his cousin Dick's 
adventures, how sturdily he fought, and 
with what difficulty he was got immured in 
limbo. He likewise informed them what 
grand sport he had formerly seen with 'Dick 
at .Otterburii races, when the heather- 
blooter, and the little wolf-dog were men- 
tioned to him — that the former was a nick- 



OF WOMAN. 185 

name, which he deprecated/ and bragged 
that no man alive durst call him by it to 
his face ; the other, relating to sm unfortu- 
nate amour with a married girl, who had 
once been a servant of his ; in which affair 
he had nearly been both worried and drown- 
ed. M*Ion was quite angry with Joseph for 
leading him into such an error, but Joe 
thought the sport stillthe better, and de- 
clared his determination to have more fuii 
with his cousin before he left Edinburgh. 

The young gentlemen then went instant- 
ly out, and spoke to two householders of 
their acquaintance, to bail Richard out of 
confinement, for they were sorry at having 
been the aggressors, however rude he had 
been to them ; and most of all, for the o& 
fence taken by old Daniel on the part of 
his kinsman. They could not help acknow- 
ledging to their own hearts, that they had 
used both a little cavalierly ; so they acr 
companied the two citizens to the guard- 
house, where they heard all bail refused, the 
headlong Borderer having rendered himself 
liable to a criminal trial, on account of his 



186 THE THREE. PEKILS 

hsnng attacked the person g£ Ids Jnig&i 
Accordingly, tbey returned home to eam^oik 
what was ne^t best to be done; and Jo^ 
seph being of the party, heard all their eCNOb* 
sultations ; and concluding that, in the end, 
all wa^ like to end amicably, he took his 
measures accordingly, and went down stairs 
to his father and the ladies. 

Daniel had testified the utmo&t impa^ 
tiehoe from the time he had joined them^ 
as well as high displeasure at M'lon and 
his frieiids^ Catty's blood ran cold within 
lier, when she heard some of his expres- 
«H)ns, dreading that the last door of inter* 
eoiirse between her and her lover was now 
shut ; and if so, she felt the sole hope and 
support of her Hfe had perished. In the 
mean time, Joseph came with the news, and 
with feigned concern, related his cousin's 
mishap. Daniel lost no time in setting 
about his liberation, and by engaging a re- 
lation of his, of high repute in the law, soon 
accomplished that which had been refiined 
to the two grocers. But then, on Ridbard's 
return at a kte (or mther an early) hour. 



OF WOMAN- 187 

robh a dideussion entmed, so long, so loud, 
and so vehement, that Gatty soon left them, 
greatly Indispdsed ; i£nd at length they all 
I9tot to sleep, Riehard and Joseph in the 
same bed, as bad luck would have it. There 
the evil-disposed imp set himself, with all 
his art, to rouse up his cousin's violent hu- 
Inour, by representing to him how he had 
been insulted and abused as a low ru£San, 
bdbw the character of a gentleman. That 
M'Turk would have challenged him, had 
the others not persuaded him, that no man 
who valued his dbaract^r cbuld have any 
thing &rther to do with his antagotdfll;^ 
than kicking him out of doors ;— r^that his 
father had taken his part, and justified him 
in what he had done, leaving a challenge 
in effect on his nephew's b^alf, with any 
of the party that liked ±o take it up.. 

This hint of aU others roused Dick's va- 
l<wr the most, and he declared, that his oid 
unde Dan should have nothing to do in 
the matter, nether as pincipal nor second. 
" You are much more a man to my mind, 
ooudn Joe/' added he ; ** and if you will 



188 THE THEEE PERILS 

stand by me, rabbit me, but I will astonieh 
the dogs." 

Joseph promised faithftilly, and it was 
resolved between the two, ere ever they fell 
asleep, that next morning Richard was to 
challenge all the three, and then let them 
make the most of it they could. Accord- 
ingly, they were early astir, and at it ; and 
as Joseph refused all assistance in penning 
or inditing the challenges, these were left 
entirely to the genius of Richard. There 
was only one thing he was solicitous about, 
namely, whether the challenger, or the 
challenged, had the right of choosing the 
weapons. Joseph assured him, that the 
challenger had the right, a custom that had 
emanated from rules in use in the most 
chivalrous age of France ; at which our 
champion was not a little delighted, swear- 
ing he should then have some play with 
the fellows. Accordingly, after an hour's 
exercise at hard study and writing, he pro- 
duced the following three cards : — 

" I SCAET your buttons again. You in- 



OF WOMAN. 189 

suited me, and I repaid you, perhaps, a lit- 
tie too hard. I therefore give you another 
chance, and dare you to single comhat, 
either with cudgels, or broad-swords, at 
such time or place as our seconds shall ap- 
point. 

" Yours, 

" RiCHAED RiCKLETON. 

" To Mr Peter M'Turk." 



CHALLENGE SECOND. 

" I SCART your buttons. You mocked 
and disgraced me in your own house; and I 
dare you to single combat, with muskets, at 
regular battle distance, such as our seconds 
shall appoint. 

" Yours, &^ 

" To Richard M'lon, Esquire" 

challenge third. 

** Sir, 
" I iSCART your buttons ; and Asae you 



ISO THE tfiEEE P&RILS 

to fair hxtile, with any weapons you diusey 
from a doubled fist to a munce-meg. 

'^ If one of these challenges are refused^ 
I will brand the whole fraternity of you for 
dogs> mongrels^ ragamuffins, aUd eowards I 

^^ Yours, &c. 

" To Lieutenant CaUum Gun." 

When these were finished, he called up 
Joseph, and read them over to him, one by 
(me, chuckling with delight. Joseph com- 
mended them highly, as masterpieces of 
spirit and good humour, and testified no 
small wonder at his cousin's powers of com- 
position, so much superior to his address. 

" Snuffs o' tobacco, cousin Joe ; what 
signifies address ?^ said he ; ** or how can 
a man hae address, that never s^ke to ^ny 
body #' the life o' him, foreby herds and 
drovers ? But I was five years at Jethart 
schools, and twae years at Durham ; five 
and twae make seven, a' the warld over. 
And gin a man whae had been seven years 
at the schools, couldna indite a challenge, 
it would be a disgrace. Sutar me, if I 



OF WOiaAN. 191 



dinaft thmk my learning wa$i/veel bestow- 
ed, were it o&ly for what 1 1^ done tfaig 
day." 

Joseph went to eac^ of the gend^nen 
apart, a^ delivered him his cousia's men^^ 
sage, begging, at the same time, that he 
would take no notice of the singularity of 
its manner, for he would find the challen* 
ger one that woidd not flinch a foot fran 
his purpose. He likewise requested of each 
gentleman to return the card into his hand, 
that whatever might be the consequence, it 
might not appear against his cousin or him- 
self in evidence ; for that he only produced 
it in testimony of his kinsman's resolution;, 
and with this request every one of the gen- 
tlemen instantly complied, iiji&rming Jo- 
s^h, that he should hear from him by the 
mouth <>f a friend immediately. 

When the three met, and the whole ab- 
surdity of the thing became manifest, the 
two young Celts burst out into a roar of 
laughter, and essayed to treat the matter 
as nothing, else than a piece of aboard buf- 
fopnery. In this they were not joined by 



198 THE.THEEE PjEEILS ^ 

M'lon^ who gnawed his Up in .utter ye^sh 
tion, assuring his friends that they would 
find it turn out a very disagreeable busi- 
ness, and one jiot to be got quit of with a 
good grace. ^' It would be an easy matter 
to prove him guilty of uqgentlemanly be- 
haviour," said he, " and refuse to meet him 
on these grounds. But I hate that last 
most miserable of all shifts, and would ra- 
ther meet the fellow at once, would he sub- 
scribe to the rules common among gentle- 
men." 

" I believe," said Gun, " the only waiy to 
get rid of such an animal, will be to meet 
him on his own terms." 

^' Hu ! Thamm me if I shall pe dhoing 
any such tings," said Peter M*Turk. " For 
Cot pe taking me tiss mhoment, if I ever 
lifted proad-sword or cudgel either, in te. 
mhatters of offhences or defhences, in all 
my phom Ihife." 

'' It is our countrymen's most celebrated 
weapon," said Galium Gun ; '^ and a noble, 
weapon it is ! It further appears to me, that 
this Border Hector brute, as. he. appears to. 

13 



OF WOMAN. igS 

UEf has made choice of that weapon to give 
you the advantage, from a sense that he has 
behaved towards you with rudeness. I must 
acknowledge, that I like the humour and 
spirit of the fellow better than I conceived 
it possible for me to do." 

** Dhamm his plood, and his pones, and 
his great piggermost head of confusion and 
apsurds, if I dhoo pe liking one little piece 
of his whoule pody and sdiowil," said Pe- 
ter. ** Cot pe outfacing him, if she'll not 
shoot him through and through the pody, 
and come to his nose with dirk and pistol, 
but I'll not be prhained with a trhee, nor 
hacked with a clheever like a bhoutcher's 
caulP. Nho ; tamn me if I shall !" 

" At all events," said M'lon, " we must 
each of us depute a friend to commune with 
this madcap boy ; and, moreover, none of 
us can chuse one another, but must apply 
to some new friends to act for us ; so that 
the whole ridiculous business will be di* 
Tulged to the world at our expense. Were 
the challenger like any other reasonaUe 
being, matters might easily be accommo^ 

VOL. I. I 



194 THE THBEE PERILS 

dated ; but that Be is not, is quite appa* 
rent ; and besides, the frolicsome youth, his 
second, will urge him on to every extre- 
mity, the more extravagant the better, out 
of mere fun. For my part, I wish I were 
rid of it ; most of all, for the sake of those 
connected with him." 

Melon's friend was the first to wait on 
Joseph, and tried to persuade him that the 
thilig was all a joke — a good frolic — that it 
would be worse than madness to persist in. 
But he found Joseph quite of a different 
opinion^ and resolved, at all events, to in- 
sist on the most ample and public apol(^ 
being made to his cousin, or to abide by the 
result. The other adverted to the ridicu* 
lous choice made of the weapons, asserting, 
that such a thing was entirely unknown in 
the laws of duelling. Jo^seph denied this, 
and gave him two instances, on high au* 
thority, of the same mode having been 
chosen and acceded to. But he said he had 
no objections in the world what arms were 
used, only that he must persist in the chaU 
lengca: having the right of choice^ and pro- 



OF WOMAN. 193 

|Ki8ed to speak to his friend, and request 
Ms consent that muskets might he ex- 
Ranged for pistols in the decision of their 
quarrel. The other requested him to do 
SO9 assuring him he would jBnd his friend 
reasonahle in every thing. 

Joseph went to his cousin Dick, and 
found him sitting brooding over his coura- 
geous enterprize with the utmost satisfac- 
tion, and quite impatient for the glorious 
consummation. Joe mentioned the proper 
sed exchange to him, but he refused it in- 
dignantly, saying, " That he was deter*- 
mined to iight them all with different wea- 
pons, to shew them that he was their mas- 
ter in every thing; and as he knew he 
would be obliged to fight Galium Gun with 
pistols, which was a great pity, he insisted 
on fighting M'lon with muskets, or small 
fowling-pieces. But," added he, " gie my 
compliments to him, and tell him, if he be 
the least frighted, I'll allow him a tree." 

** A tree !" said Joseph ; " What do you 
mean by that ?" . 

' ^^ Whoy, I joost means this^** said Diek^ 



196 THE THKEE PERILS 

with the most perfect seriousness, " that 1^11 
allow him to stand hehind a tree. 1*11 tkeret 
olgect to that, and I'm sure, that's very 
fair."' 

^* Whys my dear cousin," said Joseph, 
laughing like to fell, " that gives you mr 
chance whatever." ' ' ^ 

" Never you fear that, man," returned 
Dick ; " when he srts by his head to take 
his aim at me. Ill hold you that I have hint 
first for a guinea " 

Such a proposal was the elixir of the soul 
to Joseph ; he went away and delivered ife 
straight. The message, as may well be 
supposed, put both the second and prin*i' 
cipal into a notorious rage, and they resol*^ 
ved, that they would no more be mocked 
by a fool, but meet him on his own terms, 
and be dme with it. Business accumu- 
lated on 'Dick's hand, as well as on that oi 
his second. The latter was left to the sole 
management d{ the duelling part, while hiis 
heroic cousin was obliged to go and appear 
in the Council Chamber, to save his bail, 
arid answer to the charges lodged a^idist 



OF WOMAN. 197 

^\m. His friend, the lawyer, undertook 
the management of every thing, else it 
would have heen the worse &r the aggres- 
sor. He spoke to the people into whose 
house Dick had forced his way — told th^sm 
the gentleman was in liquor, and mistook 
the door, hut was willing to make anyxea^ 
sonahle reparation ; consequently, that part 
of the business was soon got over, with a 
few slight fines. But the attack of the old 
lieutenant,- who sat as judge in the police- 
eourt, was Uke to prove a more serious mat- 
ter, and it required the young lawyer's ut- 
most cunning to get his client o£P. A 
judge, in every sentence he pronounces, 
keeps an eye to his own dignity* which was 
£^parent in this instance; for even the 
proof that the lieutenant had called him a 
scoundrel, proved no excuse for Richard^s 
ebullition of rage. Of this, the young.limh 
of the law was aware, and had been at pains 
to ferret out every word and action of this 
old nocturnal judge, from, twelve at fkoon 
till midnight ; and then, fully satisfied of 
jtbese, and finding that nothing else would 



198 THR.THK££ PERILS 

do, he charged the police judge with having 
been drunk, beastly drunk, at the time he 
mounted the bench to pronounce judgment 
on his client. The Sheriff-substitute, who 
sat as judge, asked the lieutenant of the 
truth of this. He denied it with indigna^ 
tion. The Sheriff next examined the po^ 
licemeu, who were present ; they denied it 
positively : on which the judge gave the 
young lawyer, (or writer, I do not recollect 
which,) a severe reprimand^ for thus at- 
tempting to calumniate a respectable and 
venerable public officer. He was just abput 
to fcdlow up this stricture with the pro- 
nouncing of a heavy judgment on our friend 
Dick, when the young lawyer got up an<J 
made a speech in arrest of judgment. I 
was present at this trial, as well as five or 
six friends, whom I could name, and to 
whom all the circumstances of the case mjust 
occur on the perusal of this ; in particular, 
that young man's speech, which drew forth 
peals of laughter and applause. The judge 
deprecated the interruption, but the f(»:mev 
insisted on giving an explanation so pe- 



OF WOMAN. Wgi 

Temptoirily, that he was pennif ted to do it, 
though not without reluctance on the part 
of the court. His speech was fraught with 
irony, hut any recapitulation that I can 
give of it, from memory, at this distance of ^ 
time, is nothing hut as the shadow to the 
substance. It was something to the follow* 
ing effect: — 

« My Lord, 

** Having been impeached here publicly; 
from the bench of justice, with a disgrace-^ 
ful and foul attempt to degrade a faithful 
and judicious public officer, and being sen-^^ 
sible, that, as matters now stand, I must 
appear in your eyes, and the eyes of all pre- 
sent, highly culpable, I beg leave to state 
the evidence on which my charge of drunk*', 
enness was founded, by which I hope not 
only to justify myself in part, but also to 
lessen the atrocity of my friend's offence. : 

** In the first place then, my Lord, I- 
will prove by the testimony of sufficient 
witnesses, whom I have here in comrt, that 
this same worthy officer went, at one oV^loek 



200 THE THREE PERILS 

yesterday^ with other two friends, (namitig 
the individuals and tavern keeper,) into a 
house at the foot of the Horse Wynd, on 
public duty no doubt, and drank each of 
them a gill of whisky as a forenoon canker^ 
or as one of the party expressed it, a hair 
of the dog that had bitten them. I will 
prove farther, that this same venerable pub* 
lie officer went with another person into a 
house in the Lawnmarket, at about ten 
minutes past three, and called for a sharp-- 
ing stone f which was brought, and which it 
appears they made good use of, for tliey 
swallowed it up totally, and were obliged 
to pay the landlady Is. 4d. by way of da- 
mages ; this sharping stone being neither 
more nor less than a half-mutehkin of strong 
ardent spirits. 

** I will likewise prove, to your Lord-^ 
ship's satisfaction, that the same faithful 
and judicious public officer dined with other 
four, at a place denominated by them, the 
Cheap Shop, in Candlemaker Row; and I 
have been at the pains to procure the indi^ 
vidUal bilk produced to the party at the 



OF WOMAN. 2€a 

.Miid chee^ shop. A% eight o'eloeky tb« fjsk 
lowiog Que was brought m> but not settled* 

Dinna* for 5^ .... . L.0 3 9 

Porter and ale, .. ... 12-. 

Whisky— Hi^and, > . . O' 8 ' - 

, Whifky tody^ 94 giUs, air 9d. 18 9 



L.1 9 7 



**The worthy officer was thus obliged to be 
absent for a short time^ still on public duty, 
which, it is to be supposed,he never once huet 
sight of all this while ; and pn his retcUim, 
fovat of the party, he being one, sat down to 
41 strenuous rubber at whist. Now, my Lord, 
you know this is a public duty that required 
a j^ood deal of mental operation, and one 
that no venerable man, grown grey in .the 
service, can support without a proper sti*- 
mulus. Accordingly, I find that each, of 
the party played his hand, with a smoking 
tumbler at his right elbow, which nerei: get 
tinne either to cool or stand empty. I mU 
prove, my Lord, that the party sat at that 
isevere and debilitating public duty, ^ the 
v^ .moment, thia venerable officer was call* 

12 



a02 THE THREE PEEILS 

ed away to mount the tribunal df justice. 
It will appear farther, my Lord, from tMs 
other bill which was then produced at the 
cheap shop^ that the party had not been 
idle. Cast your eye over it, my Lord. It 
is shortly this. To 44 tumblers of tody, 
15s. 64. But it so happened, that this 
public officer and judge chanced to have a 
bad run of luck. He actually got hands 
which (as he expressed it again and agmti) 
the devil could not piay ; so that, though 
they only played at three-penny points^ the 
honest gentleman was pigeoned, and xedtt- 
ced so low that he could not pay his shot, 
which stands over undischarged at this boui»^ 
One can hardly help r^etting such a hard 
dispensation, nor wondering that the resist 
turned out no worse. For you will see, 
my Lord, by comparing rates, that fcl^^neh 
aerable officer, provided he drank hi9-6ir 
j)roportion, had swallowed no less than the 
contents of two bottles of whisky that'^ 
temoon, before he sat in judgment on my 
jriend here at the bar« exclusive of the pbiw 
.ter atod strong ate. Now, I appeal .to^y6i«t^ 



6elf» my Lord^ if you could have mount^^ 
the bench of jivstice at all after such a r^ 
freshment ? Or provided that, from bpdily 
{ffowess, you could have effected the ascent, 
Aether or not you could have been a prp^ 
pa: judge of right or wrong in such a state ? 
I contend that the thing is not inhuman 
nature. It is impossible. And to autnen- 
tkate this, and shew 1k)w our judge beha-^ 
ved, I shall prove, that when ray friend 
here, a gentleman of property from the sis- 
ter kingdomy was brought before him tox 
having been guilty of a small mistake-r-rd 
nustaking of one door for anotherr-why^ 
the £rst thing that this sober and. upright 
judge told him, was, that he was a dtmiih^ 
m seouMdreL The. gentleman denied the 
eluurge, as well he might ; whereon this laibn 
lime and indignant, judge flew into a high 
ptokion, aud asserted, with great vopiferatioii^ 
ihut ke was a scoundrel, and this without 
^tha? trial or proof. My Loa:d,>this is treatf^*^ 
iQimit to which no freephonpi E^qgli^hmf u ia 
caU^.o0 to sKi^iQit And biad the.gentlei^ 
mft dragged him^from a soat^^t l^iB^fr* 
tituted and disgraced^ and trampled him in 



2i)4 THE THE££ PERILS 

the kennel, he wovli have deserved the «p« 
probation of our magistrates, instead of their 
Censure.** 

The judge made reply, that no bi^ieh 
of decorum in one person was warrant fiir 
any outrage committed by anoCher; but at 
the same time he dismissed the chai^ge^ ott 
account of the provocation given, and snb^ 
jeeted Dick only to two or Uiree smdll fines 
to the wounded policemen. 

The witnesses against Wagstaff were memi 
examined. The first of whom was the young 
lady of his most ardent and sublime affiee* 
tion. Her appearance had a wonderful eS^ 
feet on Richard, who, as he had antieqpai- 
ted, was quite overcome by her beauty and 
aqcompHshments. She was tall, blooming, 
and animated, and gave her evidence ta a 
manner so humorous, and witibal so good* 
natiitedly, that every one present was mo- 
ved to laughter against the poet, and to be 
eti good terms with her. Bichaxd waa pdt-^ 
fectly delighted^ <^d resolved ba finding 
some means <ii mtiodueing himseli^ pwSA'^ 
ving firdm the evideaee jmiduaad^ ihali Jio 



OF WOMAN. 20K 

difeodenee mM to be placed on the interest 
of hid friimd the poet. 

The history of this lady was shortly as 
fbflows : — She was the daughter of a sober 
citizeo, and was rather inclined to dress 
mi ^ssipation; insomuch, that her charac« 
ter was beeomiag every day more and more 
eqnivoeal, when an uncle of hers dying at 
Hittll^ left her a considerable fortune, inde^^ 
pendent of her parents^ or any other tras^ 
tee. From that time forth, there was no 
hdy who had so many followers and admi«- 
rers,. although her manner of life was nod- 
dling amended, but rather, at least with 
c^jard to one married gentleman, either 
worse, w less guarded* No matter ; wooers 
floeked from all quarters, and, among the 
test, our notable poet tried all the powers 
o^jiis blank rerse to gain ,her affectiims; 
and when that would not d(^. he made a 
bold effort to carry her by a coup <fe nmin. 
tis was only adjudged to fi^d s^eurlties for 
^Ifii'good behaviour, and got ^e^«y of the 
9toD8* CInb to sign their HecujRties — ^meiH 
«b»liad«aittletoliMiashiliisel£ IU<^ 



90& THE TUAKEr P£&ILS 

^rd wjbi^pered him to uieet him in half.iim 
hour at his hotel, and resolving to see thi» 
f(iir heiress home from the Sheriff<oiurt» he 
m^de straight up to her as she left theCouu*- 
etl Chamher. Beaus a^d gaOants of mosfc 
i^ariotts description were crowding around 
her, contending for the honour of hei: arm, 
imd elhowing one another in no very e^e^ 
monioiis way to obtain this« There was 
llie collegiate dandy, a thing of stays, laces, 
and perfumes ; the greasy citizen, and .the 
i|)rward impertinent bagman ; the fraudut 
lent bankrupt, and the vender of hlue Utti 
alias ind^o, all yearning to touch the lady'$ 
b^utiful hand, and her far more beauti&l 
and pure golden ore« What daance was 
th^e ioac the blunt and homely professions, 
of love, esteem, or admiration, from.th^ 
Jifft of a herculean and obtuse-witted couur 
Jtrymftu, any one may guess. But DiaV 
Wds a man of resolution,, and never droam-^ 
^^f being baulked in any thing he had 
fiK^ his heart on, without giving it a ffur 
j^. , .So, casting! \^m^ iiK b^for^.tb^i^ 
iy^^j ww«s«Mhttst^,tljrw^,t]^ 



nicking up to the kdy's tight hand, aii# 
pashing such as ventured to oppose him, 
aside mth such violence, that some of them 
tumbled on the ground with dieir heeh 
up, and some overthrew others. One great 
lubberly bagman to a bibliopole lifted his 
cane, and tried to knock our champion down^ 
never doubtifig that he would be joined by- 
ail his opponents, thus held at bay as well 
as himself; but the Borderer lent him svuh 
a blow, that he staggered backward for the 
space of ten or twelve yards, and then fell 
flat on the street. The boys hm^ssaed, at»d 
Richard was quite uplifted. All thiis w^s 
done in a few seconds, before he ever gol 
time to accost the lady ; and the mob be^ 
iixg gathering around, he did not wait <m 
offering her his drm ; but taking hers, he 
hurried her off. She gazed up in Iris faeei 
articulating some words of surprise, biitap^ 
pai*ently not at all displeased at the iibrupti 
pess and singularity of thfe int£(3fdubtibnf; 
aiid the res* df her loveri havidg beaif ill 
driVen%aek and mixed with the ero^d,'iA¥ 
!w8iPigl^^t6 iitefeptof sUch^oW&fiil^prct 



JOS THE THREE PERILS 

tection; so, to put a stop to farther opp^ 
$ition or outrage^ she disengaged her arm, 
and putting it into his, walked lightly along 
with her new adnurer. 

They got plenty of attendants all the 
way to her father's house, and, among the 
rest, some of the baffled lovers; but the. 
dangerous appearance and demeanour of 
Richard kept all at a due distance. When 
they reached the door, he k6pt hold of her 
hand, as with a determination to enter into 
some explanation; but she casting her eye 
on the number of their attendants, and afraid 
of a farther exposure, said, with a good na- 
fared smile, " Pray, walk in, sir," Rieh«* 
ard complied in a moment ; and ere ever he 
bad time to appreciate his luck, he found 
himself in a small elegantly«fiimished draw-^ 
ing^room, alone with the object of his ad^ 
miration. The most part of men would 
have felt a little awkward after such an in# 
troduction, and reception; but Hielmrd, 
who was awkwardness itself, felt non^^ Hd 
turned round full on his strappipg beauty^ 
whQse looks yrexe as little daunted us hifi 



OF WOMAN. 209 

own, took both her hands in his> and with 
a certain nodding motion of his head ac- 
companying every word, he b^an his court- 
ship as follows : — 

** Naw — rabbit me ! lady, if ever I be- 
held soochan a wooman all the days of my 
Ufer 

" In what respect, sir ?" 

^ D — -n it, in every respect ! So hand* 
some and weel coosten in lith and limb! 
So clever ! So good-natured ! And so sensl*; 
ble ! And then, sooch ^ pair of eyes — sooch 
a brow — and soochan bonny dimpled cheeks. 
Rabbit m^ ! an ever I knowed what it was 
to be in love with a woman before ! Nay, 
now, that smile is not to be bworne; it gangs 
through ane like an elshin and a lingel." 
And with that he catched her in his arms, 
ajid gave her a hearty smack. 
. " Please, sir," said she, " consider where 
^you are, and who it is that you treat with 
such freedom* I know nothing about you, 
nfc^ther do you about me, I suppose." 

^ And what should I ken about thee, 
pr^^y now ? AH that I knows ab9ut thee is. 



J^IO TH£ thuee perils 

that thy name's Keatie M*Nab ; that thou 
•waa in the Council Chamber the day as 
-weel as myself; and that thau's the ae bon-^* 
niest and blithest lassie that ever I set mine 
€yhe on. Now, thoa's angry, like a fool, 
because I gied thee a single kiss ; but dis 
thou ken, an' gie me my will, I could find in 
my heart to kiss thee twenty years without 
intermission, and without weariness? Thou 
shalt soon ken all about me that either 
thou or any bwody else can ken. I's Richard 
Hickleton, Esquire — the laird of Burlhope 
—.•a trustee on the turnpikes — freeholder 
of the coonty of Northoomberland — and te^ 
nant of I75OOO acres of land in England and 
Scotland, Now-^What does thoju think 
now? Does thou ken Simey Dodd of 
Kameshope ?" 
«No." 
• " Thy loss is no great — He's a baughle. 
He petends to be richer than I, but 1 wish^ 
I heard him .say sae. The chiel is gayau 
rich ; but, an I doosna count acre for acre, 
Aeep for sheep, and poond for poond \Vith 
him, my name shan't be Richardlfcickle^n; 



OF WOMAN. 211 

Esquire, and I shall not be laird af BturU 
hope neither, nor a troostee on the toom«i 
pikes— heh! Him!" 

" I perceive there is a degree of rivalry 
between you and Mr Dodd,-' said she. — . 
'^ But perhaps you do not know that 1 am 
but a poor girl, and unmeet to he the com- 
panion of so great a man." 

*^ Whoy, woman, what's thou on about? 
Ps sure I has plenty for thee and I baith I 
I disna care, an I had thee, whether thou 
had a sark to the back o' thee or no." 

" Is it true that you know no more of me 
than you have said ?" said she, with appa- 
rent curiosity. 

« Whoy, how should I ?" said he.—** I 
came but to town last night, and got into 
an unlucky fray. And now it minds me I 
have three combats on my hands, and may 
be a dead man afore the morn. But, if I 
live, wilt thou let me come and see thee 
agam before I go ?" 

"Certainly," was the answer. But the 
lady's mother coming in, the coxiversation 
beoas»ei too miBoell^eous for insertion^ and 



£12 THE THREE FERILSt 

the redDubted Ridiard, after ingradatiug 
himself with the old dame prodigioutl;^, on 
account of his estate ^ his flocks of sheep, asid 
a twae . thoosan pooinds in Sir William's 
Bank, lying at a per centage, went off so 
much elated, that he ran along the street ; 
and hasting to the hotel where the Pringle- 
ton fly stopped, he th^e found his friend 
the poet standing on the steps. The great 
Shakespeare had been inquiring for Richard, 
but, on proffering to wait in the coffee-room 
till his arrival, was refused admittance, and 
had been compelled to take up his rest on 
the stone stair. Ridiard, in his full flow of 
spirits, shook him by the hand, and then 
led him by the shoulder, first into one room 
and then another, and afterwards a third, 
in all of which there was company. The 
son of Apollo was quite confounded at the 
original manner of his new acquaintance; be 
knew nothing about ringing a door-bel]^ or 
calling a waiter, but went, with unblushing 
fronts into every room that came in his way, 
always addressing the company in each as 
the people of the house, and never either 



oar woMAK. ms 

uncovering, or quitting hold of thei collar of 
his companion's coat. The poet objected 
going into the third room, and drew back ; 
but Ridhard pulled hhn in, Tociferating at 
the same time, '^ Cwome along, mun, cwoiiie 
along ! — What is thou hanging back for^ 
like a teyke in a tether ?-^— I say, sir, is thou 
the landlord of this house ?" The noble* 
man whom he accosted pointed to the door. 
" I beg thee pardon, sir,'* rejoined Di6k-^ 
'' I was only gaun to gie this chap here a 
bottle of port wine; and, in a public house» 
I fancy ae man^s money's as good's an- 
other's." Without more ado, he helped 
himself to a seat at the farther end of the 
room, after compelling the poet to sit down 
oil the one next it ; and, without quitting 
his hold, he thumped with his heel on the 
floor, as they do in country inns, to make 
the waiter attend. The nobleman rang the 
beU fariously, and a powdered waiter co- 
ming in, pointed to tlje intruders. The little 
spruce fellow came close up to Richard, 
and' with att inclination of his body, and a 
fiulMBequenticaper in a reverse dilrection, arti- 



ai4 THE TflHEE PERILS 

culatedthe comprehensive question, ** Sur?*' 
as Richard thought, in a very haughty 
manneri 

** Surr !** returned he^— ** Dis thou kfen 
"whae thou*s calling surr, with soochan a 
snooster as that ?" 

" What are yout commands, stir, if you 
please ?" rejoined the man of the towel, in 
the same authoritative style — a style that 
Dick could not brook. 
' *^ Why^ sur,'' said he, " my commands 
are, that thou take theeself off, clout and 
all, and bring us a bottle of thee best port 
wine, and some cauld water-^Thou under^ 
stands that, dis thou ?" 

" Please to walk this way, sur," said the 
waiter, bowing, and leading the way with 
an unconscionable strut. 

Richard held down the poet, and would 
not move. — " Whoy, where is thou gaun, 
with all them capers ?" cried he ; " thifi 
here place will do well enough." 

" I insist on my room being instantly 
cleared of such cattle !" cried his lordship, 
addressing the waiter. 



OF WOMAN. ail5 

" Whoy, what*s thou saying about cattle, 
muu ?" said Dick, rising up, and coming a 
few steps nearer his lordship ; " whae is it 
that thou's calling cattle, I would like to 
ken ? — I say, landlord, bring the wine here 
that I have ordered; and if thou disna 
clear this room for me, whoy, I kens of one 
that shall soon do it for thee, that's all !" 

The waiter was astounded. The poet 
tried to make his escape ; but Richard sei2ed 
him with a grasp that interrupted his flights 
The wily servant then, to save the credit of 
his master's house, brushed up, and whis-* 
pered something in Richard's ear, that at 
once overcame his pride and obstinacy, and 
he actually followed Princox out of the 
room, nodding to the nobleman, by way of 
begging his pardon ; and being conducted 
to a retired place down stairs, the poet and 
he had their wine, and their extravagant 
conversation together. It was all, for a time, 
about the lovely and adorable Miss Catherine 
M*Nab, whom the poet, declared he would 
follow till death ; and afterwards about the 
nine Muses, the mistresses of the lattar, 
whom Richard supposed to be the chandler 



S16 THE THREE PERILS 

of Kelso's beautiful daughters, the Moyses ; 
and being desirous of taking one 0t two of 
them off his friend Shakespeare's hand while 
he remained in town, Richard plied him 
with wine, and the most fulsome flattery 
about his personal appearance ; for of all 
mental qualifications our Borderer was to- 
tally ignorant, not being at all apprized of 
their nature, or what to say concerning them. 

But the outrageous adventures of this 
buUyquasher have led us too long away from 
the thread of our tale, and, owing to the 
way in which he came to be connected in it, 
must, it is to be feared, lead us farther still. 
In the mean time, we must return to the 
point where we broke off, in pursuit of his 
fortunes. 

There was nothing but bad humour, and 
a sort of half mystery, prevailed at the lodg- 
ings of the Bells. The ladies found out 
that there had been some sericms misunder- 
standing among the party, and that it had 
been on account of their kinsman Richard. 
They perceived that old Daniel, who was 
for the most part left with them, was in the 

10 



OF WOMAN. 817 

fij^s, and irritated at M'lon ; and this 
dbooNr^ry fedl cm poor lovelorn Gatty's heart 
l&e an untimely frost on a flower that bad 
omaeto its blossom too early, exposing its 
delicate bosom to the fervid ray, before the 
guardian leaves of experience had closed 
around it. Love was the fervid ray that 
made thi«i bud blossom too rathely, and dis^ 
appointment the chilling blast that made it 
Uench before its time« 

" Let simple maid the lesson read-^ 
The weird may be her ain." 

She saw as if the hand of fate was raised 
against her love, and felt as if some over- 
ruling power had compelled her to take of- 
fence where none was meant, and where no 
cause tould be rationally assigned why the 
oifence was taken. Now the parting with 
him who \was all the world to her, whom 
she felt she had injured, and dreaded also 
^t he had been insulted by her father and 
kinsman, melted her heart. What would 
she have given for oblivion of the past !— 
of the time when she had replied ill the 

VOL. I. K 



218 THE THBEE PEBILS 

adyances of her lova*, from maidenly pride 
and jealousy, and again to prove the atten^ 
tions and attachment of their early ac- 
quaintance ! As matters stood, however, 
she could form no line of conduct for her- 
self hut one, and that was, not to go and 
leave him,— even this she had not the ex- 
clusive power of fiilfilling ; she had hrought 
her father all the way from home, for the 
express purpose of taking her with him, and 
how was she now to evade compliance ? A 
maiden in love moves always in extremes, 
she is either all coyness, pride, and jealousy, 
or all tenderness and complacency. Gatty 
was quite overcome with conflicting feelings, 
and betook her to her bed a little past the 
hour of noon, expecting to find repose of 
spirit in the place where she daily found re» 
pose of body, and no sooner was she laidv 
down, than she desired Mrs John8on><and< 
Cherry to leave her, that she might sleep. 
But slumber was far distant from that 
couch, and would not be wooed to retum»v 
She was exceedingly unhappy, and soon 
sought relief of heart in a flood of scalding^ 



OF WOMAN. 210 

te«s/ Futurity presented nothing to h^ 
distempered fancy but disappointment^ sor** 
rowy and a broken heart, if she retired 
again to the country, now that the last hold 
she had of her lover's society there was 
broken short by this misunderstanding be* 
twixt him and her father. And even if she 
remained, she could hardly see how matters 
could be again made up between M^Ion and 
W, without too much humiliation on her 
part, which, if yielded, might breed con- 
tempt 

Such were the thoughts that preyed on 
her mind, as she lay sobbing, and drowned 
in tears ; and just when her cogitations were 
at the bitterest, her father entered to in- 
quire how she was, and when she would be 
ready for taking her departure; — ^for he 
was just going to take out tickets for the 
fiy, he said, and would take them out for 
tOM-morrow, or next day, as she indined.-^^ 
Site was not very well, she said, and doubt* 
ed much if she would be able to take the 
journey at this time, if indeed she was ever 
able. She supposed her dear fiither would 



ago THE TH&BE FIVAILS 

be under the necesstity of leaving her where 
she was for a while, and retumhig williout 
her* 

" Ye will be waur than you look like, 
and waux than I think ye are, lassie," said 
he, " if ye canna hurl out in the fly wi' your 
cousin and me — An ye were at your last 
gasp, ye wad rather be the better than the 
waur o' sic a canny and a pleasant jaunt. 
If ye turn sick or squamish, your cousin and 
I will take ye on our knees time about, anadt 
ye shall lie on our bosoms as easy as ye wu: 
on a feather-bed." 

'' Me lie on Dick Rickleton's breast !" 
exclaimed she ; ^* I would sooner lie on a 
bed of eul flint ! Oh, father, how could you 
bnng that bear along with you ? We will 
be all affronted with him, every one of us, 
he£ore you get him out of town again." 

'' It is needless to make a short tale a 
lang ane^ daughter," said he ; ^^ I brought 
in that same^^or to be a husband to you. 
Your mother is set on the match, and I asa 
naething against it. We suspect there is 
mme wfaaup i' the raip wi' ye^some Int 



OF WOMAN. 221 

love dilemma tjiat is hingin heavy oh ybtEr 
spirits, and we ken but o' ae cure for sio a 
melody ;-— that core is come to our hand, 
in a rich, strong, hard-headed chiel, that 
kens how to stand for his ain against a' the 
. warld ; and if ye dinna approve o' marrpng 
him off hapd, why, ye ken, ye can be nae 
the waur o' being weel courtit,-*-it will may- 
be spur on some other that ye like better.** 
During this speech, Gatty was lying 
hurning and shivering in restless indigna- 
tion, but the latter clause restrained for a 
moment what she was about to say, and set 
her a*thinking, instead of making any re- 
ply. Daniel went on — '* But as for leaving 
you here, daughter, never speak o' that, for 
ifs the thing I winna do. — I hae neither 
money nor time to spend to be coming 
touning a' the way to Edinburgh for a 
wehdi^s whimsies. Ye shall gang home to 
your mother at present — that baith she and 
I are determined on; and I'm gaun to 
teave your cousin Cherry and Joseph voider 
the care of the nurse." 
c Gatty was still silent^ for die foumd it 



822 THE THREE PERILS 

vain to reply ; and she had no one to blame 
hut herself for this resolution, of her father's, 
nor indeed, as she now felt, for all the 
griefs that belaid her. O love ! what in- 
consistent things canst thou not make a 
maiden to do ? And what gnawing pains 
canst thou not make her feel, by way of 
retribution ! 

** I shall take out the tickets for to-mor- 
row," said Daniel, as he left the room. 

*^ I wish I were dead !" said Gatty, and 
turned herself over in the bed. 

She had not lain long, before she heard 
the stentorian voice of her cousin in the 
dining-room, which added to her mental 
agony ; for her heart was so thoroughly 
softened down, that it was too much alive 
to every impression. He was elevated with 
love, wine, and warfare, — ^these had the ef- 
fect of exalting his voice, at the same time 
that they threw every idea in his addle pate 
into a chaos of utter confusion. With all 
this multiplicity of business on his hands, 
he was buoyed up with the hope, that, in 
and through his friend the poet's interest. 



OF WOMAN, 223 

he was to have an assignment with one at 

least of the chandler's beautiful daughters 

that same evening. He asked carelessly 

for his cousin Aggy, and, though told that 

she was in bed, and much indisposed, he 

heard not the reply, but asked other twice 

in the same words, and always the next 

minute. He was now quite in the fidgets 

to meet Joseph, and, for all his undaunted 

courage, he was occasionally seized with a 

sort of anxiety, gripes that fastened on his 

loins and shoulder-blades, and held him 

yawning and racking himself on every short 

interval. Joseph at last came in, and the 

two retired to their sleeping-room ; and 

there our bully was informed that all the 

three challenges were accepted on his own 

terms, and all the meetings to take place 

early next morning, at different places on 

the shore of the Frith, a mile west from 

Newhaven, and each of them within twenty 

minutes of another. *' So that you see, 

cousin," added Joseph, " you will have hot 

work of it ; and the worst of it is, that if 



224 TH£ THREE PERILS 

you fall in the first encoimter, both the re* 
maining rascals will escape with impunity." 

" Punity or no punity," said Bichard* 
" I wish the combats had been the night ; 
for Ts no perfectly at hiy ease, and I would 
have liked to have been sae, for certain 
reasons. Rabbit me, if I dare venture on 
them Kelso lasses the night ! they may 
drive a body stupid.** 

" Ay, without driving him very far," said 
Joseph. " But if you have an appointment 
with any Border ladies, it is certainly pro- 
per that I escort you ; for, as your second 
in affairs of death and life, I must watch 
over all your actions to-night, that you may 
be in perfect and complete trim to-morrow 
morning, and that our country be not dis- 
graced." 

" Nay, nay, be thou nae feared, man/' 
said Dick, " I's no very ill for taking firight ; 
and as for either fencing or firing, I'll stand 
a match with any in the three kingdoms. 
What, mun ! does thou no ken that I fen* 
ced twelve weeks under Stewart the Highh 
landman ? Ill tak in hand to hit ony man 



OP WOMAN. 225 

in the king's dominions, with sword or cnd^ 
gel; and for a vizzy, I winna yield to man 
living ! How far a distance does thou mean 
td allow us with muskets ?" 

" You said fait battle distance," said 
Joseph, ** and I was thinking of giving you 
a space between of sixty yards." 

^^ You may as well give us sixty feef^ 
TOUsin," said Richard. — ^" Whoy, man, I'll 
take a bet of forty guineas, that, at a hun<» 
dred and forty yards, I shall hit within an 
inch of any button on his coat. But I'll 
tell thee> Joseph ; change pistols or change 
swcKrds with the seconds as thou likes, but 
keep thou a grip of the musket I gies thee, 
for the de'il a ane I'll fire but that. Ax 
thou me nae questions, but do as I bid thee 
there, and do all the rest as thou likes die 
selo'thee." 

^^ Joseph promised that he would, obser- 
ving, that a gentleman had a right to use 
Ms own pistols, and why not his own gun. 

The rest of the day was spent in languor 
and restlesraess^ although they visited se- 
veral o£ the sights, as Daniel termed thc^, 

k2 



226 THE THEEE PERILS 

which were then exhibiting in Edinburgh. 
At half past four they dined at an ordinary^ 
where they met with gentlemen from every 
quarter of the United Kingdom ; and as 
their dialect was the same as Greek to 
Richard, and his only a degree better un- 
derstood by them, their conversation was 
perfectly good-humoured, and as amusing 
and edifying as the greater part of conver- 
^sations that one generally hears. At seven 
they went to the theatre, where, by ap- 
pointment, they met the poet, he having a 
free ticket, for writing scraps of theatrical 
criticisms in the newspapers. At eleven 
they went to see the nine Moyses, the tal* 
low-chandler's beautiful daughters ; and, al* 
though they were not all at home, Richard 
was delighted beyond all bounds with those 
that were. But, he being obliged to treat 
the party, remarked that they kept an ex- 
pensive hoiise, them Kelso ladies, and seem- 
ed to ken very little either about thdr m^ 
tive place or their native tongue. 

Gatty contijQued in bed all that day and 
night ; and, as Richaird absolutely reftised 



OF WOMAN. 227 

to leave town for another day at least, the 
tickets were not taken out. 

The next morning Joseph and he were 
on the ground a little after the break of 
day. It had been always that mischievous 
boy's plan to turn the whole of the business 
of the challenge into a farce, to the detrir 
ment of his cousin Dick, to make him take 
fright, to have him fiUed drunk, or other- 
wise to make him miss his appointment ; 
and if all these failed, as they now had done, 
he had hopes of making it up with the 
friends to fire blunt shot, or to call a parley 
at some unfair motion with the swords, or 
otherwise, so as to put a stop to all violent 
proceedings. He had hinted this to hi^ 
friend M*Ion the evening before, but was 
confotmded at the sharp indignant answer 
he received. — ** You may make a fool of 
yourself, or iany of your relations, as far as 
you please for me, Joseph," said he ; ** but, 
in doing so, you ought not to have involved 
others, who do not choose to be mocked by 
dther you or them. You and he must now 
abide by the consequences of your foolii^h 



S9S THE THR££ PBBILS 

and aibfiurd measures ; and I haye cmly &r^ 
ther to inform yon, that if any otlier persoQ 
but yourself had proposed such a motion to 
me, I would have kicked lum down stairs." 
Joseph was» therefore^ exceedingly diih 
concerted and downhearted as th^y pio^ 
ceeded to the field next morning. He had 
meant only a practical joke, never think- 
ing, from the ludicrous manner in whidi 
the challenges were given and expressed^ 
that they could possibly be viewed in a se-* 
rious light. Besides, the loss of his fiiend 
M^Ion, by his own folly, was what he could 
not endure to think of. The meetu^ be- 
tween that gentleman and Richard having 
been appointed the first to take place, Jo» 
seph endeavoured all that was in his power 
to persuade his cousin to make some apo- 
1<^, assuring him^ that though M^Ion had 
insulted him, it Was altc^ether unintenlion*^ 
aUy-^that he knew nothing whatever (^ the 
bUj^ of the little wolf dog, but merely mien- 
tioned it at his instigation* BichaTd would 
make no apology ; nor did he even seem, 
muish in^dined to accept iji one* He^ bad 



OF WOMAN. £29 

been insulted, he said, and turned out of a 
door, and he woidd fight twenty combats on. 
tihe same ground. He had done nothii^ 
that required an apology, and he would 
coinpel his antagonist to make one, or do 
wcarse. Joseph tried to intimidate him by ur« 
ging the necessity of his making a wiU, and 
of saying his prayars ; but Richard's com* 
prehension could not take in tbefse — he re^ 
mained immoveable. 

I chanced to meet with Mr Joseph Bell 
at C>aptain Rodger's lodgings, in Dnmi<>> 
m&nd Str^t, the day after this extraordi* 
nary r^icounta: but one ; and, though the 
CfEmversation, wto wholly about the dueb, 
there was ao much said about them that I 
am uncertain if I remember the story so as 
to relate all the circumstances according as 
they happened; and I entreat that the 
parties will excuse me if, in some small 
purticulars, I may be incorrect. It was 
ag£9ed between the seconds, on what 
grounds I have forgot, that the parties 
should fire altemat<^ly<, But I think it like- 
ly that it waa because they conceived there 



aSO THE THREE PERILS 

was no danger to either party at the dis-' 
tance agreed on. Melon's second at first 
proposed forty yards, hut Joseph would not 
listen to such an arrangement; and that 
he might have room for a fair mediocrity, 
proposed 160 yards. The gentleman laugh- 
ed at him, and said he would stand for a 
mark to any man at that distance for a shil- 
ling a time ; and, thinking Joseph's cau- 
tion proceeded from fear, he hecame the 
more ohstinate, seeming to value himself on 
the nearness to which he could hiing the 
combatants to each other ; so that in spite 
of all Joseph could say, 85 paces was the 
distance to which he was obliged to consent. 
They cast lots for the first fire, and M'lon 
got it ; and as the seconds, on presenting 
them with their muskets loaded, foolishly 
persisted in keeping their ground, quitei 
nigh to their several friends, Richard gal- 
lantly held up his hat, to direct the fire of 
his opponent to the right person. Joseph 
then fired a pistol as the signal, and in- 
stantly Melon's ball whistled by, apparent- 
ly at a good distance. Richard mocked the 



O^ WOMAN. 2«1 

piping sound tbat it made with a loud 
*• whew ! there he goes ! I wish all the 
fishwives ahout Newhaven be safe. D— n 
his blind eyne, if he's within a tether-length 
of his mark." M'lon held up his hat as it 
behoved him, for both his second and Dr 

L were within a few yards of him; 

Richard made himself ready. *^ I'll let him 
see how a man shoots," said he. The se^ 
cond fired his pistol, and ere the sound 
reached the Borderer's ear, his musket was 
discharged. He instantly set off, and was 
going to run to see the effect produced ; 
but Joseph made him return and keep his 
ground. He cursed the etiquette that 
would not suffer a man to go and see his 
shot ; and said to Joseph as he left him» 
** I etHed at the crown of his hat, but I 
could as easily have taken his right eye." 

Joseph laughed at the absurdity of his 
daft cousin, as he often styled him ; but 
what was his astonishment, on going up to 
the other second, to learn that the ball had 
actually gone neatly through the hat, in 
the very middle of the crown. Joseph said 



S32 TH£ THBKE PEBILS 

in my hiring, that hie behaved very iU on 
this occasion, by boasting that Melon's life 
had been fairly in his cousin's power, a&d 
iilsisting that no farther exchange of fires 
diould be allowed. The pride of the High- 
landers was moved by this. They would 
not submit to lie under any obligation. 
M^Ion was appealed to ; but all the satis- 
&etion that Joseph could get, was, that he 
was willing, as before, to accept of an apo- 
k^, but decUned offering any. Joseph 
was piqued at the obstinacy of his friend, 
and at his utter unreasonableness, and b^« 
ged of him to offer any thing that could h$ 
accepted, as he well knew his cousin was 
not the aggressor ; and as he himself, dut of 
mere firolic, had been the occasion of the 
migimderstanding, he entreated that he 
njight likewise be instrumental in m^ng 
up the difference. He likewise stated to 
him, with great simplicity, what he dread- 
ed would be the consequence; but there he 
touched on ticklish ground that instantly 
tooke off the negociation. M^Ion spoke 
kindly and respectfully to Joseph, but re^ 



OF WOMAN. SSfl 

mainedi obstinate. He felt that» as matten 
stoody he cauld not yidd an inch mthont 
being liable to the imputation of cowaidice; 
and, after much vain remonstrance, no other 
expedient could be found but a second fire^ 
on which the seconds retired and loaded 
the muskets and the signal pistols once 
more ; but Melon's second was not mock*' 
ing about the length of the distance that 
time. 

All this while no one; consulted honest 
Dick, who, conceiving himself in honour 
tied to the spot, and not at liberty to move 
an inch, stood in the most desperate state 
of impatience all the time this needless col- 
loquy was going on. He several times 
vra^yed his hat as a signal &r the conference 
to be broken off; and at length he put fca:th 
such a voice as made the travellers on the 
Fifan shore pause and listen, and all the 
boatmen on the Frith lean upon their oars : 
** Hilloa ! come out the gate here ! What 
are ye waiting on ?" This he shouted with 
atone that awaked an .hundred echoes along 
the wooded coast; but then, tramping 



8S4 THE THESE PEBILS 

iJirottgh impatience, he spoke to himsdl£ as 
£^ows : — ** Ye hae moockle to make work 
about. I could have laid all the three oop 
at ither's sides in the hoff o' th' time thou's 
taking consoolting of it. Sutor me, if I 
could not." 

'^ You must stand another fire, and re* 
turn it too, cousin," said Joseph, as he caime 
up and restored to him his piece. '^ And 
now that you have shewn the gentlemen 
what you can do, I entreat that you will 
fire in the air, or perhaps it would be better 
to decline firing altogether." 

Richard laughed with a loud ha, ha» 
when told that he had put the bail neatly 
in the centre of the hat's crown ; and add- 
ed, ^^ Whoy, the chap has no chance at all, 
that's undeniable. But we'll see how him 
coomes on this time." 

Joseph retired a small space and fired his 
pistol, while Richard waved his hat around 
his head, and immediately Melon's ball 
grazed the beach, within a foot of the place 
where Richard stood. The latter started, 
littered some words of approval, and made 



OF WOMAN. £S5 

Mmsdif ready for retumii^ the fire. Jiose^ 
held out both his hands, and implored Mm 
to refrain, but he answered, ** Be nae fear- 
ed, mun; be nae feared. He's not handing 
up his hat this time through pride, and it 
may be hard both to hit and miss. But I 
liave a kind of ill will at yon high-crowned 
liat. Be thou nae feared, mun." As he 
pronounced the last word, the signal pistol 
was fired. Richard merely raised the piece 
to his eye ; he did not take the aim of a 
moment before the shot went off, and M^Ion 
dropped. 

' ^' Confound your charging," cried Rich- 
alrd. '' If you have put in three grains too 
little of powder, the man's gone ! Confound- 
your charging, callant ! If it struck an inch 
a'er laigh, the man's brains are out ! Odd 
rabbit it, what will be done ?" 

As he said this, he ran toward the spot 
where the friend and surgeon were busily 
engaged with the body, leaving Joseph 
quite behind, whose knees were become 
powerless from grief and terror. Ere ever 
lUchard got near the heart-rending scenes 



286 THE THHEE PERILS 

he kept calling out, '* Has't hutten him ? 
Has't hutten him? Lord help us, has't 
gane through his head ?" 

No one deigned any reply, for they were 
both too busily engaged about their friend, 
to pay any regard to such a question put 
in such a way ; but Richard, unmindful of 
their disrespect, went on, " Who was't that 
charged her? Was't you. Master Second? 
Confound your stupidity ! I ettled through 
t^e crown o' his hat, but he disdained to 
lift it off his head* Thou hast naebody to 
blame but thysel.— Ho, ho ! is that all ^^ 
He's not a penny the worse* He has got- 
ten a c6n£)unded knap, though. Well done 
yet, little Blucher." That was the name 
of his gun. It had a patent*threaded barrel. 
Richard had practised with it for many 
years, and could almost infallibly hit to a 
hair's-breadth. He had by chance brought 
it along with him for some small repair. 
M'lon still shewed no signs of life ; but 
neither of his two friend^ had been able to 
discover the wound, until Richard arrived, 
who put his finger on it at the first instant^ 



OF WOMAN. 287 

knowing well belTorehand whereaboute it be^ 

boved to be. He bad levelled at the crowii 

of his bat, and hit it exaotly, but the ball^ 

IB passing through that, had grazed the top 

of the wearer's crown ; and, though th^ 

wound was hardly discernible, had stunned 

bim so completely, that he was a long time 

deprived of all motion. Richard, however, 

averred still, that ^^ he was not a penny the 

worse f and, taking Joseph by the shoul-^ 

d&, he drew him forcibly away from his 

Baotionless friei^, that they might go €mdl 

^fig^ the next one. 

At a short distance, in one of the lawni^ 
of Caroline Park, they found Ensign 
M^Turk, who, with his second, entered at 
the same time with them* These two noted 
Heltoideans had witnessed the duel on th^ 
iboie from a donceidment at a short dis*^ 
tance, and bad seen M^Ion &11, without 
knowing whether or not the wound was 
mortai. This had the effect of impressing 
thdm both with wonder, and a considerable 
degfee of tr^idation ; and though each of 
the thxee gentlemen, knew perfectly of the 



288 THE TUBES PJBIRILS 

engagements with the others, it appears 
that it was judged necessary to conduct 
every one of the meetings ostensibly as pri- 
vate, and ^unconnected with the rest, as if 
none such other existed ; consequently, not 
a hint passed on the ground with respect to 
the affair with M'lon ; but an experienced 
second might have discerned that an acoom- 
niodation would have been easily effected 
with M'Turk. He had been obliged to 
accept of a decision with, cut and thrust 
swords, and had never in his life had a les- 
son of sword exercise; therefore, having 
witnessed his antagonist's success in an en* 
counter so unfeasible, he began to suspeet 
what really was the case, that our Borderer^ 
with all his roughness of manner and rude- 
ness of speech, was a thorough adept in 
manly and warlike exercises. He percdved 
Richard alid Joseph entering the avenue 
without any oth^r arms than a single mus- 
ket, it having been settled before that 
M'Turk was to bring two swords to the 
field, and give the Borderer his choice; 
Therefore, hefone the parties came ia con- 



OF WOMAN, 289 

taet, the Ensign stepped aside into the 
wood ; and his second, whose name I think 
was M'CoU, came up to Joseph, and, in the 
most swaggering manner imaginable, de- 
manded that his friend should straight make 
an apology to Captain M'Turk, (as he was 
pleased to term him,) '^ for te pig tamnation 
plow tat he had peen kiffing him on te side 
of te cl^-an-endainn, tat is te fore-faoe, 
which was te shaime, and te tisgrase hor- 
riple; and which no shentlemans on te 
whoule creation of te arthy wourld would 
pe submitting/' 

Joseph said he had no commission from 
1^ friend to treat, or to abate one jot of 
demanding frdl satisfaction; but that he 
had himself considerably altered his opi« 
nipn since he last had the honour of speak* 
ii^ with him on the subject, and was ready 
to use all his interest in bringing about an 
amicable adjustment between the gentle* 
men« 

*' Py Cot, sir," exclaimed MColl, whose 
energy was still exalted by this condescen- 
sion in Joseph, << your friend has pehaived 



S40 TH£ THB££ P£IMLS 

SO fery creatly peyond te pounds of te sttis- 
XDachd, tat is te coruiu, tat I question if my 
friend will even pe exceptin of te polo^e& 
But ten, sir, py Cot, te Captain will pe cut^- 
ting him all into te small pieced. Fat ! 
Do you know, sir ? See here. I would not 
pe giffing tat small sprout of grass for his 
life. Nhow I would not pe having it on 
my conseience ; and I am shure you have 
mhore sense tan to pe wishing it on your 
sowL Fat ! Will not you pe causing him 
to pe mhaking te pologi^ sudi as a shen« 
tleman chould be taking home ?" ' - 

> ^' I suppose my friend will chase only to 
write his apology with the sword," said Jo^ 
seph ; ^ and that on full fair parchments 
But if Mr M*Turk, as the first aggressor, 
ehuses to oSet an apology, it shall not be 
my blame if it is not accepted. Had we 
not better communicate with the parties?'' 
They accordingly went and consulted 
their several friends. Richard would listen 
to no accommK^tion, without first trying 
his antagonist's skill. The other two re* 
tired farther into the WQod^ la^ld consulted 



OF WOMAN. 841 

toot a godd while in Gs^^ ; and at length 
fell upon an ingiBnious plan to bully their 
opponents off the Add. M^Turk hid his 
mrord in a bush^ and then the two returned 
boldly to the field, M*Coll, of all the four, 
being then only armed ; and the latter gen- 
tleman, going bddly and resolutely up to 
Joseph, assured him that his Mend the 
Captain undervalued all sort of accommo- 
dation, and insisted on the deseisian of 
"sworts. The parties at a tdgnal came up, 
met, and ware, desired by the seconds to 
shake hands. Kichard started, and hesita- 
ted, supposing this to be a final adjustment 
of all differences; and nodding his head, 
observed, as he thought full shrewdly> that 
he would keep his hand to himself for the 
present. « Well ten, sir," said M'GoU, 
'* since you will pe rhefnsing all shentleman 
descensions^ come on, mi. You shall find 
te Ghael ready to meet you on all places, 
and on all occhassions, whether as frient or 
fhoe." So saying, he drew out his sword 
with iain ireful brandish, and put it into his 
Mend M'Turk's hand, at the same time 

TOL. I. L 



242 THE THKEE, PERILS 

bowing profoundly, and adding, with a voioe 
and air quite theatrical, *' Thake tat coot 
blhade, sir, and use it to te confound of all 
te enemies of te praif and unconquered 
Ghaer 

Richard and Joseph stared at one ano- 
ther. There was but one sword on the 
field. But M'CoU, conscious of the previ<p 
ous agreement, gave them not time either 
to ask or oiFer an eatplanation, but first pre- 
tending to burst out into a great fit of 
laughter, to keep down their speech entiK- 
ly by noise, he continued in the same. key, 
*^ Fat ? ha, ha ! Fat, shentlemans ? Come 
to the fhield of pattle without wheapon ? 
Fhery crand indheed ! fliery Ihike pould 
%hters,. and kheen ! Hu, stay, stay ! All 
of a piece ! Fhery crand excuse ! Fhery 
GNOxi indheed ! phoo, phoo !" 

" Sir," said Joseph, " if I understood yoil 
9iig^t, you engaged to produce two weapons 
on tibe field, and give my fiiend the chcoee 
of them." 

** Hu, stay, irtay ! Fhery oood indheed ! 
Tat exes I should tink of promising wk a 



OF WOMAN. 348 

do? Fbery prhetty excuse as cbtild be 
tinked." 

** Sir/' said Joseph, quite angrily, ** you 
did tmdertake to fumidi the weaponi^. Til 
take my oath on it; and be that denies 
ttieti an arrangement, is a liar and a cow*- 
ard. It is you that have flinched from an 
agreement, which was your own proposal, 
as an exisuse for your friend, who dares not 
meet mine hand to hand, I am convinced 
of it. Gentlemen, no shuffling with me ; 
the affair shall not be laughed off in this 
manner." . 

" Oh ! it f hery chrand indheed,'* said 
MK}oll, laughing and clapping his hand on 
his thigh, " to come to te field witout te 
«wort, and ten cast all te plame on mhe ! 
Fat ? Is it not a crhand expedition ?'* 

** Shentlemans," said the Ensign, comity 
tip and interfering for the &st lime, *' who> 
ever shoult pe in te plame, it is plhain tat 
te ahrms are not nhot forthcoming. Nhow, 
<is no Highbnd shentleman will condhe- 
soend, or bhow to fhight a mhan witout te 
erhnifi^, why, shentlemen, shie can dho no-* 



244 THE THB££ PEEILS 

thing mhore tan pid you a cood mhoming 
for te present." 

** Stop short for a lial bit^ an thou lykes, 
mun/' said Richard, taking up his rifle in 
both hands, and cocking her^ ^^ what was 
thou saying about lack of arms ?" The two 
Hebrideans ran behind each otheif alter- 
nately, calling out, " Ton't pe shooting, 
coot sir. For Cot's sake, tink fat she pe 
after, and ton't pe shooting." 

" Well, then, I won't shoot," said Kich^ 
ard, " but if one of you presumes to roon^ 
or skoolk from the field till I have full sa- 
tisfaction, sutor me, if I doon't toom you 
up. What was thou saying about cooming 
to the place without arms, mun ? Hark^ 
and I'll tell thee a bit of a secret. I have 
only hidden my arms in a hazel bush for a 
little while. Wilt thou stop short joost 
till I run and bring my good isword in my 
hand?" 

" Hu, hu !" exclaimed ivI*Coll, shaking 
his head, and looking at his friend with the 
utmost expression of misery, — " Hu, hu ! 
Cot's (areat pig efermore tamn pe on te 



OF WOMAN. 246 

whoule expetition ! Hersel pe coing to pe 
coming fery padly off, py Deamhan more ! 
She pe giiiiDleil ! she pe gr^ineil !'' 

Matters, however, hardly turned out so 
ill as her nainsel divined. They both deem^ 
ed that Dick had perceived them armed at 
a distance, and had smelt a rat ; that he 
knew or suspected where the sword was hid- 
den, and was going straight to bring it to 
the encounter ; but instead of that, he went 
dway to a bush in a contrary direction, on 
which they laughed and spoke Earse to one 
another, convinced that Iboth heroes had fall- 
en upon the same expedient. While Rich- 
ard was absent looking for his sword, Jo- 
seph made up to M^Coll, and accosting him 
sternly, asked if he did not proffer, and 
fairly undertake to bring two good swords 
to the field, and to give Mr Rickleton the 
choice of them ? He denied it positively, 
with many curses and imprecations. ** Then, 
sir,'' said Joseph, " I give you the lie. Be- 
fore your friend the Captain^ as you are 
pleased to call him, I pronounce you a liar 
and a poltroon. I supposed I had to do 



846 THE THBEE PERILS 

with a gentleman, aad hare no otheir proof" 
ef the agreement but my own word against 
yours. I assert, then, on the word and ho- 
nour of a gentleman ** 

*^ A shentleman !'' exclaimed M*Coll, 
interrupting him, " Hu, no ; certainly not 
a shentleman ! Nho, nor a shentleman poy 
neither. You are, sir, if I may pe aBhow- 
ed to pe shudg^ment, a fery pase-pom, ful- 
gar, and muffianrag Ihaddie.'^ 

" Cousin Richard, come hither," cried 
Joe, beckoning him to make haste* IRich- 
ard came running with his weapon in his 
hand, which weapon was neither mcnre nor 
less than a large hazel sapling, that he had 
cut from the bush ; and as he came along 
he kept snedding the branches from it with 
his pocket gully. " What's the matter 
now, mun ?" cried he, addressing Joseph ; 
" is there any thing more wanting ?" 

" Yes there is, cousin Dick,"* said Jo- 
seph, slapping him on the shoulder ; ^ but 
not on your part. You are a man, every 
inch of you ; and one too at whose side 
I'll fight or fall any day in the year. But 



OF WOMAN. 247 

lliere is a want on my pairt ; a^ want ^ 
]>ioof against a mean-spirited, bullying pdi- 
troon, who denies his wotd and his engage- 
ment ; and here, befofe you both> I give 
him the lie direct, and I spit in his fi^e.-^ 
Now, sir, make the most of thiit that you 
can, or that you dare." 

" Whoy, callant, that's excessively impu«- 
dent,"said Richard, not wholly comprehend* 
ing the extent of the Hebridean's blame, or 
father not aware of its enormity; " thou 
43ees the want o£ the sw<ar4 is no great mat- 
ter to qxiarrel about. A might mapti ^^v^ 
wants a weapon ;" and with that he Inran- 
dished his tree. ^^ But an thou likes to 
kick him, Til stand be thee." Joseph, who 
was as angry at M'CoU as it was possible 
to be, took his cousin's hint,^ sprui^ for- 
ward, and gave M'CoU a hearty kick in 
the rear. The latter made an effort to re- 
ctum it, but Joseph was too agile for him, 
and twice he spent his limb's sfrei^th in 
air. The indignity made the 1)lood rush to 
his cheeks and forehead, and he made as 
though he meditated a furious personal at- 



S48 THE THEEE PERILS 

tack on bis assailant ; h\it his eye chaneing 
ta rise to Richard's staff, the sight cut his 
sally short at once, and he contented him* 
self with turning round on his heel, and 
saying, with high and a£Sscted disdaiiit 
" Pid not I pe thelling her tat she was tc 
fery fiilgar poy, witout any of te preeding 
of te shentleman in hi^ whQule ppdy and 
schoulJ^" 

** Canny, mun ; canny a wee bit, an thou 
lykes," said Dick, brandishing his weapon. 
^^ No ftonily reflections here, or here's a bit 
of a rung will give thee thine answer/' 

That rung was as uncouth and danger- 
ous looking a weapon of the sort as could 
be conceived. It was jagged and crooked ; 
some of the stubs on it an inch and a half 
in length ; and with this stake he insisted 
on fighting the Ensign with his long sw(»d. 
To this, however, the acute and gented 
Highlander objected ; he shook his hea^ 
with a mild and forgiving accent, ^' Hu no^ 
sir ! You must pe taking my excuse. A 
Highland shentleman nefer takes the ad- 
vantage ; nefer, nefer ^' 



OF WOMAN?. 249 

** Whoy, mun, PU give thee all the ad- 
Tantage thou has/' said Richard, *^ aaid 
something into the boot foreby. When I's 
willing to take such a weapon as the place 
affords, it is impossible thou can have any 
objections." 

^^ Hu, not indheed, sir. You mhust be 
eontent to pe hafing my excuse. It is pe- 
iDg out of aU te points of honour and shen- 
tleman's dhuel. She will pe putting it over 
to the secondaries." 

** I am quite content, for my part, that 
my friend take his chance with his sap- 
ling," said Joseph. 

" Hu, put, ^hentlemans, I'll not pe con- 
tent," said M*CoU, " nhor nefer shan't. 
What de diabhal more ! shall it pe said, 
when my friend, te Captain tere, puts his 
swort trou te hert, and te pody, and te 
plood of tat prafe shentleman, tat she killet 
a mhan wit a swort, who had nothing for 
dirfhence pint a pranch of a stick ? Cof s 
creat pig tamm ! she would not consent ibr 
t^ whiQule wourld and mhore. Just pe ^ 
l2 



SSO THE THREE PERILS 

oon8iderbatio& tat she wa?e to pe cuttb^ 
and slashing down throi^h his head« and 
his pzaias» and his face. And nothing put 
a stick ? Fhoo, phoo ! Nhot at all, nhot at 
all. Let us go, let us go.'' 

'^ You shall either %ht me h^e, bs you 
engaged/' said Bichaid, stepping before 
them, *' or I'll bast you both with this ca- 
ber, till you lie on the spot, and kiek ycu 
with my foot after you are down/ Draw 
out your sword without another word." 

^* Dhear, sir, te mhattev is peyond te 
law, and peyond all shenteel pehaviours," 
said the Ensign, bowing in manifest dis- 
may. 

" Draw out your sword," bellowed Rich- 
aid, in his most tremendous voice, and 
heaved his cudgel, as if about to fell an 
ox. The ireful sound actually made Peter 
M^Turk spring a yard from the ground, 
with a sort of backward leap, and when he 
alighted, it so chanced that his back was 
toward Richard, and his eye at the same 
moment catching a glance of one of the im« 



OF waMA:N* asi 

pending quireri^ of the jagg&A Ifiasd iatmdi, 
he was si^ited ^th an involuntary and m^ 
txiral feefing of 8el£>pr6serTation^ and ais 
dse most olmous way of attaining this^ he 
te^ n running with ito ordinary d^^e 6£ 

Now aQ this^ though notoriously unlCKiky, 
as &r as it regarded the manhood of the g^ 
lant Ebs^^ was the conse^Uene^ aiifd ^u^- 
m^y of feelings so spontaneous audiffies 
sistible, that to have aeted otherWii^; was, 
without all douht, out of his powe^; he 
blamed for it hiiw he may. But the worst 
thing att^iding all these sudden sensati^ms 
of danger and dread is, that after a man 
llaa feirly turned his back, and fallen a run-i 
ning, it is all oTer with his courage for that 
time, and he thinks of nothing but spedl* 
iag his escape. Without some great inter- 
vention, such as the Hays with their oxen 
yokes, the warrior's character canrH)t be re- 
trieve at that bout It is, however, far 
ftom being a bad omen of a young hero; 
tlmt^ extaCMrdiimry degree of fright. that 
dnves him at the first outset to desperate 



ass THE THREE FBEILS 

resources ; therefore no man iviU look dcma 
on Ensign M^Turk for this, after he is in- 
formed, that the invincible Arthur Welles- 
ley, in one of the first battles ever he stood 
in India, fled in a night attack, and 1^ 
his re^ment to be cut up ; nor could he find 
a man of it again before day-light, although 
he disguised himself under a war doak, and 
went about inquiring for such and such a 
regiment. That gentleman has never again 
turned his back on his enemies from that 
day to this. 

But a still more pleasant instance of this 
inverted sort of courage was exhibited on 
bo^rd a British man-of-war, in an engage* 
ment in the mouth of the Channel. A good- 
looking young man, who was employed at 
one of the guns, got so frightened, that he 
actually went mad, and after uttering tw4) 
or three great roars, threw himseH'into the 
sea. An officer on deck, seeii^ his plaoe 
left vacant, seked a boat-hook, and in one 
minute had him again on board, gave him 
a kick, and ordered him to stand to his 
post, or he would blowiJiis brains out. The 



OF wmf AN. 8j(8 

man oontihued for a while quite uiEisettled 
and insensible; but at length, in the utr 
lOost desperation, he seized a paint-pot, 
dapped it on his head for a hehnet» and 
under this ideal safeguard, all fears vanish- 
ed in one moment. There was no man on 
board who behaved with more spirit durjo^ 
^e whole of the engagement ; foi he not 
only exerted himself to the utmost, but eu^ 
oouraged those about him to do th^ same. 
The paint ran in streams off at his heels, 
covering all his body with long stripes ; yet 
there was he flying about on the deck, like 
a hero, with his paint-pot on his head. 
That man afterwards rose to distinction 
ftir his undeviating course of steadiness and 
bravery. 

Let no man, therefore, flout at Peter 
MfTuik 5 for as the old proverb runs, " He 
may come to a pouchfu' peas before he dies, 
foriill that's come aod gone." Whoever 
had been obliged to encounter Richard 
Rickleton with such a tree over his shoul- 
da*, he could then have appreejlated the 
ittatice of Petef s af^ehensbnish; bulb with- 



e54 THE TiJXEKC EEBILS 

out smdi an experimeat^ it Is iinpassibfe. 
Richazd's farm is to be seen to this day» 
nolliing deteriorated, and is well known to 
be equal in dimensions to that of a notable 
Scotch drover ; while the staff tfiat he bore^ 
was <)i that appalling make, that it was evi- 
dent a long thin shabble of a sword wlis no 
weapon to oppose it. It was Uke a weaver's 



When Peter fell a-mnning, Richard 
could hardly believe his eyes ; he gave a 
broad look at the second^ as much as to hmt 
that it was his duty to stop him. But by 
this time, Joseph^ for want of something 
better to do, had lifted one of the secondary 
hazel branches^ that his cousin Dick had cut 
from his tree. 

•' Hilloa r cried M^CoH ; « hilloa ! Cap- 
tain ! Captain !" on pretence of stopping 
him ; but, at the same time^ he had likewise 
begun a-running as fast as he ir^ 

" Then there such a chase was^. 
As ne'er in that place was/' 

The Borderers having nothing for it but 
to start after the fugitives at full speed^^ 



CKF WOICAN. fi55 

the pursuit continued thrcmgh seir^ral in*^ 
closures ; but it was very uigh unavailing. 
Joseph, by dint of great exertion, got so 
near to M'CoU in leaping a fence, that he 
won him one hearty thwack, which failed 
in bringing him down ; and after that, nei- 
ther of the two could ever lay a turn on the 
fliers more. The gallant Ensign escaped 
altogether with whole bones, and hisse* 
ciHid^ it is supplied, was not much the 
inwBe. They did not, however, night in 
Edinburgh^ for they went both on boaTd ^ 
an Aberdeen smack that same day; and 
from that dty, M^CoU challenged Joseph, 
by post, to meet him on the North Inch of 
Perth, on the 24th of September n^t, and 
then and there give him the satisfaction of 
a gendeman. 

Unfeasible as this part of the story may 
seem, it is neither a fiction, nor in any de- 
gree sophisticated. I have seen the original 
letter myself, and can produce it, although, 
as I said before, I coidd not swear to the 
pilfer name ; but it was, doubtless, one of 



aS6 THE THRB£ PERILS 

thosie registered in the celebrated old Jaco- 
bite song,--^ 

<^ Then farewell MThersons, M'Flegs, M'Funs^ 
McDonalds, M'Drummonds, M^Devils, M^Duns, 
M'Dotards, M^Callops, M'Gabbles, M'Guns, 
M^GepTdies, M'Yel^cH M^Eumps, anjd M^Puns/' 

When Richard found himself fairly out 
of breathy he stopd still and held his sides, 
crying, in broken sentences, "What think'st 
thou o' thy captain now, cousin Joe ? Rab- 
bit him, if he has not gat a fleg that wiU 
stick to his browJiead as lang as there's 
Highland hair on't. Dost thou think that 
blade is really a captain ?" 

*^ As much a captain as I am,^ or as thou 
art, laird," said Joseph; " some b^gaily 
ensign of local militia, or perhaps actually 
in views of the noble pension of 1*. lOd 
per diem. The Highlanders are very libe- 
ral of their titles, so much so^ that theSQ 
would be rendered despicable in the eyes of 
any <^her people but then;kselves. I have 
leam^ a great deal concerning those peo^* 
pjb, by my acquaintance with one of the 



OF WOMAK. / 857 

best of them, and one of the best ydnug 
men alive, (God grant that he be safe;) 
and I have found, that so eager aje they 
after a sort of grandeur, state, or title, that 
every one of the latter having a high sound, 
becomes so very common, as to be given 
without any discrimination. Every con^ 
missioned o£Sicer, every master of a trading 
vessely or even of a coal sloop, is certain. 
The title is not only gratuitously bestowr 
ed, but most cordially accepted of as a 
right ; and every student at the University 
of Aberdeen is styled doctor, when he re- 
turns to the Highlands in time of the va* 
cation. Your friend Peter, and his stibr 
Hme second, are just a^ near to the rank of 
captains, as they are to that of gentlemen ; 
for neither of them will either be the one 
or the other/' 

" Od rabbit it now, cousin Joe, thou*s 
leaking through ill nature," said Richard. 
*^ Now I never speaks ill of any one behind 
his back, except Simey Dodd of Ramshope ; 
f<»r thou sees he always sets himsel' abo6a 
me, and I canna tiiole that ; theref^^re^ in 



fi89 THE THlt££ PEEILS 

iai^h and trotfa» I cwnot keep my tongue 
off Sxmey» either behind his back, or he&ate 
big face ; but with all others, my worst word 
is to their noses. Now rabbit it, Joseph, 
thou kens that we met with the dbap in 
gentlemen's company, and it is not Mt to 
hdd him so mean.'^ 

Richard could not bear to have it sup- 
posed that he had only overcome the cou- 
rage of one with the sight of his staff, and 
ehaeed him from the field, who was no gen- 
tleman. 

*' There are many such gentlemen in the 
Highlands, as these you last saw, however,'^ 
said Joseph* " I speak only from hearsay^ 
and not from actual observation ; but am 
given to understand of these Highlanders, 
tbat such of them as are gentlemen of good 
&milies, are the completest gentlemen in 
the British dominions; polished, benevo- 
lent, and high spirited. But then, there is 
not one of these who has not a sort of sa- 
tellites, or better kind of gillies, that eount 
kin with their sup^ors, are sometimes out 
of courtesy admitted to their tablet^ afid on 



Ot WOMAN. fiS«9 

that ground, though living in half beggary 
aad starvation, they set up for gentlemeB. 
These beings would lick the dust from the 
f^et of their superiors ; would follow and 
support them through danger, smd to death ; 
but left to act for themselves, they are no- 
thing, and no real Highland gentleman 
considers himself accountable for the beha- 
viour of such men. The cadets of a High- 
land chiefs or the immediate circle of his 
friends, are generally all gentlemen ; but 
there is not one of these who has not like- 
wise his circle of dependent gentlemen, 
which last have theirs again, in endless ra- 
mifications; so that no one knows where 
the genteel system ends. None of these 
latter have any individual character to sup- 
port ; they have only a family one, or the 
character of a chief, who generally now cares 
not a farthing about them. There lies the 
great difference between these people and 
our Borderers. With us, every man, from 
the peer to the meanest peasant, has an in- 
dividual character of his own to support ; 
and with all their bluntness of manner and 



j260 THE TBitEE 7EBILS 

address, for honesty, integrity, and lo}raI 
prindples, shew me the ra^e that will go 
before them." 

*^ Ay, shew me the man that will stand 
before us, cousin Joe," cried Richard ; *^ for, 
rabbit it ! we have seen those that can go 
before us already, and that by fair dint off 
running. But what dost thou think of the 
next chap that I have to fight ?" 

" If I divine aright," said Joie;eph, ** you 
will find his whole behaviour quite differ- 
ent, 1% is true the Guns were only gilliejs 
to another powerful name; but this is ^ 
man of education, and that always stamps 
tbe character with the sterling mark ; with- 
QUt it, whatever outward impression the 
man may bear, if he would pass himself for 
gqld, ring him, and inspect him well, for it 
is ten to one that he proves counterfeit^. 
— ^Begging your pardon, cousin Dick, for I 
understand, when you went to study the 
science of mathematics, that you stuck short 
at vulgar fractions ?" 

" Whoy, now, hold the tongue of thee, 
thou impertinent buck ! Is it not time that 



OF WOMAN. a6l 

we should wait on Mr Gun ?'' said Richard^ 
willing to change the subjebt 

** No, it is not yet time, by a quarter of 
an hour/' answered Joseph ; " and therefore 
I have belBU trying to amuse you, to keep 
down your intolerant impatience. Come, 
now, give us the history of your progress in 
mathematics." 

" Whoy, thou kens, Joe, I was seven 
years at the schools, and that's what not 
many Highlanders can brag ; and* so, after 
I had gone through the geography, and the 
stronomy, the grammar, and the Latin ru- 
diments, my faither, he says to me, * Whoy^ 
Dickie, my man, thou hast been a very 
good lad, and a very good scholard, but 
thou hast never made any progress in the 
science of Matthew Mattocks, and oto 
rector tells me that there^s no man of them 
a' sae money^making ; and, therefore, I'H 
send thee to a master that teaches nothing 
else.' So away I goes to the Academy, as 
my father called it. But the science of fi- 
gures did not suit my genius ; and my mas* 
ter, a mere shadow of a man, took it on him 



&BU THE THREE PBtllLS 

to eotrect ine personally, by striking me 
sometimes with his fist, and sometimes wi<li 
a mahogany niler, that was no better than 
apieee of wMnstcme. I could thump eyery 
boy that was at his school, and I was not 
sparing of my blows on tome of the obsti* 
mute ones. At length I became convinced 
in my own mind that I Could overcome my 
mastar, and from that time I began to cock 
my eye at him ; but my dbastisement grew 
still the more severe, and, notwithstanding 
all my resolutions, I cotdd not for many a 
day rouse myself to a fan* rebellion. At 
length, after a severe drubbing one day, I 
retired from him gromnbling, groombling> 
aBd ventured to utter a threat The die 
was cast. After that single word of threat* 
ening, I found that in my heart 1 not only 
despised, but defied my master. — * Whafs 
thou groombling at, thoU numscuU ?' cried 
he ; ^ an I hear such a thing as a threat 
within my seminary. Til beat it from thy 
tongue, though in doing lo I should beat 
out thy lubberly soul along with it* And^ 
as he said so^ he flew aft«r me with the 



OF A^ewAK. 8<fi8 

q^d of lightaing, sdaed me by the hair> 
and pulled me toward hiin> whild erary 
hmate of the eiehoQl t):emUied at his un« 
.governed rage. I gave him a blow on the 
nose that made him sti^g^. He liuid at 
me with a fitry that weaketied him» while 
I gave it him in his sides and breast so 
roundly, that in one minute he was gae^ 
ing for breath. He then flew to his €tU 
Mend the mahogany ruler, but, before he 
reached it> I closed with him, and throwing 
him over s^ form on his back, I held him m 
spite of his teeth, and at every desperate 
struggle that he made, I gave him a hearty 
thump. When I mastered him by throwing 
him over the bench, the whole school salu* 
ted me with a loud huzza ; and, of all other 
thjuigs, that went most to the tyger heart c^ 
him. I'll never forget his agotiy of coun- 
tenance when he yielded to me, and begged 
of me to let him up. * Wilt thou ever lift 
a hand to strike me as long as thou livest, 
then ?' said I, 

" * Yes, and I will, if thou deserviest it,' 
saidrhe. 



«64 THE THREE PERILS 

, ** « Then; said I, ' TU kiU thee on the 
spot-' 

« ^ WeU, do so; said he, 'just kill me 
on the spot.' 

** * Oh Gtod'help me !' said I, * what have 
I done ! I fear I have done very far wrong, 
and I'll not lay another tip on you- — ^Pray 
forgive me, sit ; I fear I have done very 
much >vrotig indeed.' 

** * Wrongs sir !' said he, rising, and put- 
ting on his usual countenance of proud su- 
p^riiority — * wrong, sir ! — ^yes, you have in- 
deed done that which is so very far wrong, 
that it is unpardonable. Leave my semi- 
nary, sir, this instant, and let me never see 
ybut face again !' 

*'' Is that all the thanks that I have for 
my forbearance ?' said I — * I woli't leave 
the school; nor will I budge till my time 
be out^ unless I please ;^-^I have paid for 
my quattfer.' 

** * I'll turn you but of it, sir, With shame 
and disgrace,' said he. 

*' * ril defy thee,' iquoth I, i^quaring in the 
middle of it ; ' turn me out if thou cianst; 
IQ 



OF WOMAN. 865 

^' He went out of the class-room in great 
indignaticHi, and wrote to my father ; and 
there did I remain in my master's house^ 
through perfect obstinacy, in no very desi* 
rable situation. But he had high boards 
wages for me, and I believe, after all, would 
have made it up. Yet I could not but pity 
him, for I saw he felt that he was no more 
master there, for all his lofty deportment i 
so I determined to be off the first fair op« 
portunity, rather than be the cause of throw- 
ing his school into complete anarchy. One 
day he says to me, * Come, Mr Richard^ 
thou's now perfect at inverse proportion 
and interest, I must have thee put into 
vulgar fractions.* ' 

" * No, no, measter,^ says 1 ; * an they be 
voolgar fractions, thou may keep them for 
thy voolgar scholars ; for my part, I's going 
to have nodiing to do with them.' And off 
I set to Burlhope that night ; and there 
was an end of my education imder honest 
Matthew Mattocks.-^Coome, coome, Joe^ 
is it not time that we were meeting with 
Mr Gun?" 

TOL. I. M 



S^ THE TdR£iE: Pll&ILS 

•'N^, ft is not yet tiiAe,'' ittsw^^ed 
J^oseph^ ^^ biit it is ^ good thftt #e ht there 
the first ; and tlierefctre we shall go. But^ 
cousin^ voti have iio m^ianec if( qiuirrel 
dgaint^ CaI}UM<jrilii«-^pray, if^on^t fim a&ow 
the seconds to make up Matters there ?"* 

•* Whoy, now, Joe, how is that pdssitde ?'* 
teid Rich^d ; *^ I have no ^iian?el with him, 
it i^ trae, Either than that I have chaU 
leiigfed Min to single cotifibat ; and wouldst 
thou have me beg his pardon fdr doing 
fliat ?--No, stttor me if I will ! Then he 
has nothihg to Ijeg iny jfardon for» The 
koknbat moo^ go ob, Joe— *the comhat inoost 
goorii'' 

*' You seem to have no sense of danger, 
nor t6 inow what fear is,'' said Jdseph. 

** Doos I not ?" answered he—** 1 knows 
both of them ftOl well. It is absolute non- 
sense to talk of any man being void of fear. 
Joe, wast ihou ever in a boggly place in 
the dark thy lane ?-*if thou hast, thou 
knows what fear is. But lownly, lad ; for, 
see, yonder are our diaps coming.'* 

Joseph was about to expostulate with 



OF \r01tAV. 267 

}m ndkiess ^ooiuati ; btit^yyiMs tkie they 
had reached the ground^ and percetVied their 
eneiides at hamd. Thejr met ; and no ex- 
planation being asked or offered on dther 
side^ the ;n£tual formalities ^eire soon p^« 
formed^ and^ at tiie dktanceof Iweke paces, 
the parties fired on each other jat the tsame 
moment of time, icdthout any effect. The 
seconds interposed with as HMe, for ihe osae 
gentleman was too proud, and the other too 
fond of a bones*hreaking, to yield ; so thcr^ 
fired a second time, and hoth .were wound* 
ed, Richard rather seriously, his arm being 
broken, and then they parted, perfectly ^a-^ 
ti^d, although with far less ccaremtmy than 
is usual on such occasions. 

Richard did nothing all the way home 
but rail against the pistols ; he said they 
were nothing but durty voolgar things, and 
that they had not the half of the sport with 
them that they had in any of the two for- 
mer combats. He said, he did not ^' so 
mooch mind the hoort, but he abhorred to 
be mangled by them doctors of physic, 
who iwoujd be groobing and boring with 



368 THE THESE FEKILS 

tbeir coorlsed genilicks into tliev^ mar- 
row of his bones.'* 

. It was now necessary to take lodgings 
for Richard by himself ; and in these we 
shall leave him laid up, for the present, 
under the hands of the doctors ofpkysky 
and return to our unfortunate lovers, plun- 
ged still deeper in adversity by these unfor- 
tunate encounters. 

« The wound on Melon's head, slight as it 
appeared to bfe, had a very extraordinary 
effect ; and, though he was attended on the 
field by one of the ablest surgeons of his day, 
in spite of all that could be done for the re- 
storation of the patient, he continued quite 
insensible, and almost motionless, till a 
coach arrived, and conveyed him home to 
his lodgings. All that day he remained in 
a state of utter stupidityil to the amazement 
of the surgeons, who could discover no frac^ 
ture. Towards evening, he began to con- 
verse, and said he was quite .well ; he ap- 
peared likewise as if he had been; quite 
well ; his eye had all the vigour and intel- 
ligence that it was wont to have, and yet 



OF WOMAN. 269 

there was a wild incoherence at times in 
hi&jspeechy.that shewed his intellects to be 
only twinkling in a kind of will-o'-wisp state, 
without any fixed hold on the base of rea- 
son. He fell into immoderate fits of laugh- 
ter, without any apparent cause for such ri- 
ability, mentioned ofttimes his encounter 
with the heather-blooter, but always under 
an impression that some miscarriage had 
occurred ; he seemed to conceive that his 
piece had burnt in the pan, and that he 
was still on the shores of the Frith. In 
short, he appeared excited and happy to a 
boundless degree— felt no painful sensations 
—manifested no unpleasant regrets, but was 
all life and animation. At other times, he 
eould neither be brought to recollect where 
he was, nor what he was engaged in ; and, 
though he appeared delighted with all 
around him, if any person had asked him 
where he lived, or what was his name, he 
eotdd not have told him. The surgeons 
deemed the symptoms bad, and sever^ con- 
sultations were called on the case, at which 
many learned^bservations were offered on the 



270 TH£ THBGEX f BRILS 

nature of fractures, by &t too teohnical &r 
aif y body td understand but the &ealty 
tbemselvesw 

Ga^ty titme to the knowledge of all ihsm 
outrageous inddents only by degreei. Jo^ 
:^h was txeeedingly chary in hk notioes, 
deeming himself somewhat unsafe in the eye 
ofthelaw« He informed bis &tber privately 
of &11 that had occorred, and asked hisadvic» 
respecting what ought to be his own and ios 
eousin's liext course ; but in tibese matters 
old IhniA was but little versanti He had, 
however, aii im^reiisian that his: son iKrouId 
be safer it the country with him than in 
Edinburgh, and advised aeooi^diligly; add« 
itigji thdt they would now lose no time in 
returning home. When this resohition 
(Same to be known to Miss Bell^ it wrung 
her heart to the last degree. She under- 
stood that M'lon was lying in a dangerous 
state from a wound in the head ; that her 
brother had been instrumental in the affidr, 
and that it was from dread of the eomfe- 
quenees, th^rt he wasl now about to retire 
to 1^ eountiry for K spaoe« AU her inroud 



(Lewies a^ her lava's supposed b^tivUnv 
tQwaf^B ber hairing npw vanishedj, she fdlt 
BOtihil^g tcfwards him hut the teuderest 
aflt^^iouA 9» ^qU as the deepest regret at 
the manx^ in which he had been used^ both 
by herself and her kindred ; and that they 
shw4d aXL turn th^ir batiks on him^ and 
leave him iu that st^te, was what ah^ could 
not brook ; so she determined not to go. Had 
the fiame goqd understanding still subsisted 
b^tw^en her loyer^ father^ and brother, a$ 
at the time when she wrote to her ^ther, 
to have parted with hiin whom she loved sp 
dearly, would have been nothi)\g^ asi it would 
only have been for a season. But as matters 
now stoodjt she perceived not the slightest 
probability that they two should ever meet 
again ; and how grievous was the reflection 
to a mind so sensitive ! 

All who have ever felt the an^eties of 
a first love^ will compassionate the sufferings 
of Miss Bell, at the prospect pf such a part* 
i»g » ?pd to those who have npt, it is n^ed^ 
less to describe them. To the latter, the 
hopesj, £^arS| jealousies, delights^ ^nd dei> 



272 THE THEEE PERILS 

spairs of such a passion> appe^ only as ^- 
isting in the hrain of the story-teller ; but, 
alas ! they have a deeper seat in thousands 
of young and ardent minds than the world 
is aware of, and sow the seeds of consump- 
tion in thousands of rathly, blooming, and 
delicate frames, where they were never sus- 
pected to have taken root, and never ac- 
knowledged to have sprung ; or wheife the 
suffera^ only acknowledged them to their 
own hearts. With how many amiable and 
manly qualifications did M^Ion appear now 
to Gatty's regretftil and distempered imagi- 
nation tobeinvestediAndtogoandleavehim 
for ever, was a trial to which she felt herself 
unable to give assent. She at first objected 
to accompany her father, on pretence of ill 
health, a pain in her side, and a dangerous 
disposition of late to fall into fainting fits. 
But all these excuses only rendered her father 
the more resolute on removing her. He said, 
that neither her mother nor himself could 
have any rest or comfort, knowing that she 
was indisposed, at such a distance from 
them ; and that they mmt have her in tbeiir 



or WOMAN. 27S 

own nursing ; and/he added, at every sen* 
tence, ^* That she wad be a great deal the 
better of a hurl T the coach, for it wad gar 
her blood circulate through her veins, and 
gie her stomach sic a twinge, that, or she 
wan hame, she wad be as yaup as a yorlin/* 
Finding that this resource was going to 
be of no avail, she. was obliged, as a last 
remedy, to apply to Mrs Johnson, and lay 
open to her the state of her heart. This 
she did over night, when all the rest were 
sound asleep, for she requested her cousin 
Cherry to deep by herself that night, and 
suffer her to remain with her worthy nurses 
sd^ying, that she had something to impa]:t 
to her which she had long wished to tell, 
and she wished to take that opportunity, lest 
Tshe might never have it again. Ghdrry com- 
plied, and the nurse and her beloved foster- 
daughter lay down together. They felt at- 
tached as they had. been in former days; 
ceremony and: subordination were laid aside 
with the day clothes, and it was ^ now no 
more ^liss Bell and Mrs Johnson,' but th^ 
kind nurse, and her dear littie Gat Mrs 



274 THE THBEE f BEILS 

Johnson took her in her bosom^ md re*^ 
quested her to tell her all her heart, whieh 
the othier did without reserre, and with all 
ih6 Warmth and enthusiasm of the most 
devoti^d lover. The darkness stated well 
'with the ttoder confession, for there were 
no blush^ to hide; and there being no 
4oubt on the mind of t^e maidm of het 
tnirse'H affliction, so there was no equivocal 
lAdn on the part of the former. Every thing 
was made manifest — her lover's early «t* 
tachment— his kind offices — ^professions of 
love — and the tenderest esteem for her, ex- 
^rei^ed oil every suitable occasion, and in 
the most delicate way. Mrs Johnson was 
pettified, and scarcely fdt herself abte to 
:make one remark, while lie^ darling rail <m 
in the bdc^ed theme. All tilings were 
ihd reverse of what the form^ had conceit 
ved^ and she felt herself totally unable to 
bccount for any part of her ward's Ikte be^ 
iiaViour. Nor would the cause of that haply 
liave come so soon or so easily to lights hieid 
it not been for a very simple and natisnd 
i^[u06tion ptit by the astonis(hed listener. 



** Did be evier pToffer you awirii^?'* 

, ^ Xliere y w have struck upon the jchoird 
fimi which all the dbcordwce i» our love 
\m flcw^ed," said Gatty ;--''** be weveir did, 
A3^ after giving him opportunity after op* 
portu^ity, I twk a resolution of stmdiug 
W Diy guard, lest aJl \m profesi^on^ znighf^ 
l»ve w &rther lueauing than conamoa g^l- 
bnl^wAnsanted ; and of all things, I dread- 
ed heing joaade the hutt of ridicule by his 
boftstingirfmy favours* But I now believe in 
my heail;, that I have wrox^ed him, and that 
he meant honourably and Mndly toward 
me, but mistook my reserve for scorn ; 
whereas I meant only to bring him to the 
test. I now regret every step I have ta- 
keiu; ev^ disdainfiil look and imsd I have 
be^wed on him." 

^ Hold, hold, my beloved Gatty !" said 
the afl^tionate nurse^ interrupting her 
rhapsody : ^ You have acted with the most 
perfect propriety^ When once a man has de- 
clared himself, reserve may be partly laid 
aside, but not till then ; and it ought to be a 



276 THE THREE PEEILS 

lover*s C^re to set his mistress's heart at ease 
on that score. Far be it from me to sus- 
pect M*Ion*s honcWi^. 'On the contrary, I 
think him all'that is becbifting^^and honour- 
a1)le among hid' coi!itdtihpoi'dti^^. StiQ^ I day 
that you hk^e actfed |>r6pe*ty iti checking 
his advances^ tilT slich tirn^ ^ his object be 
avowed. Had you checked them at an 
earlier period, the sequel might hare been 
fraught with less danger to your peace; 
But better late than never ; for oh, my dear 
Gatty ! you little know of the pei^ls and 
disappointments of youthful love, of which 
I stand this day a blighted and forsaken 
beacon, never more to enjoy hope or happi- 
ness, except in what irelates to your welfare. 
Like you, I loved early, and but too well ; 
but then I was beloved again with an af* 
fection that I deemed sincere. I was pri- 
vately married to my lover, a young soldier^ 
entirely dependant on his rich relatives, 
and lived several months with him in this 
city in the most perfect felicity. By what 
means his relations wrought upon him I 
never knew, but I was abandoned, and no- 



OF WOMAN. 277 

ver more aekiiowledged^ either as a wife or 
a mother, to- this day, altHough I was Both. 
They bereaved me of my duld ere ever I 
knew him — ere erex I had kissed his tender 
lips, or pressed him to my bosom, and all 
mann^ of explamation or acknowledgment 
has be^ denied me^ Take warning by my 
fate, and shun that flowery and bewitching 
path; for in its labyrinths the good, the 
gentle, thekind4iearted) and the benevolent, 
are too often: lost ; while the sordid and the 
selfish scarcely so much asrun a hazard. Fly 
from the danger with your father. If your 
lover loves as he ought to do> and as yon 
deserve to be loved, he will follow you into 
your retreats where he first found you^ If 
he do not, he is- unworthy of being re* 
membered, and you will soon forget him. 
Little did I ween from your behaviour that 
your heart was so wholly engaged, elise how 
I should h^ve trembkd for you ! and eveii 
yet my heart is ill at ea&e ; but, if I can, I 
will manage all things right. In the mean* 
time, fly with your father, and leave the 
matter to me, for there is one great eon« 



S78 THE TBSEE FSSIL8 

Qeni;^^-4is yet^ none of us kno\¥s who of 
whet he is. He is said to spend his money 
freely^ and to be named by a property that 
be possesses in fee* But we never, so much 
a3 heard, him «name his futh^.; and such a 
house m. dan. ia ipntirely unknown. Yon 
nn^ adnMire audh a suppoaiioon to be uur 
gmeroUs; bnt it ia quite possible that he 
tmj be an impostor, and sponding the mo* 
ney of others* After what you have told 
me» I need not ask how you afiect this new 
match that your parents have provided for 
you in your rich and hopeful cousin ?" 

*^ Oh, how my soul sickens at the great 

boisterous ragamuffin l"* exclaimed Miss 

:BelL *^ I would not befur his company for 

oiie natural day^ f(»r all the wealth he pos- 



** Do not say so much, my dear Gatty. 
I have noted, jGrom experience, that no mor- 
tal fancy can conceive what a woman will 
4o in leases of marriage. Believe me, I have 
aeen things that I denned more nidikely, 
«ome to pass." 



OF WOMAN* ST9 

*• Th^ very thought of such an ^veiit 
being possiUe, is enough to kill me/' replied 
6Atty« ^^ I would mtber euffi^ the pangs 
of dissolution eyeiy day^ thoxv continne to 
live three days tiie'^feof isufeh a man. 
Compare lnin^withi>M'I(»i,*«^the' amiabH 
the acoeniplished, the high-^ipirit^ M'lim ^ 

*' I say again hold there," said Mrs Joh&- 
4xm. '' Believe me, you hdX€ said enongk 
And, at all events, it appears that your 
cousin Ilidbard does not ^mntoour^^. Such 
feats as he has perfermed this morning, are 
not to be found in the annals of duelling.*' 

^ It is for these that I hate him still the 
more," returned she. ^' What right had 
such a savage as he to lift his hand againsit 
a real gentleman ? The boor! The ruffian! 
Would that M'lon had shot Mm throi^ 
Aebodyr 

Mrs Johnson smiled at her exteavaganoe^ 
desiring her again to hold her tongue, foi: 
she knew not what would come to pass; 
(xtkd U8 the two never closed thdr eyes that 
night, ail their future operations wore ar- 
ranged. Mrjs Johnson was to find out, if 



280 THE THREE FEBILS 

possible, wfaat family M^Ion was of, and^ if' 
she £)imd him worthy, endeavour by all 
means to' engage him once more to visit at 
Bellsbiimfoot ; but, in the meantime, she 
was to keep her ward's love a strict and pro- 
fiound secret, both i&om the object of it, and 
her cousin Cherry,-^and, indeed, from all the 
world. Gatty made this important disclo- 
sure, for the purpose of soliciting the inte^ 
rest of the nurse with her father, that she 
might be suffered to remam where she wa% 
for she could not bear the thought of being 
separated fromhim she loved. But in place 
of that, the current of their discourse bore 
their conclusions to a different issue, and 
the young lady was persuaded to accompany 
her father and brother home, and trust to 
her faithful nurse for the elucidation of the 
mystery that hung over her lover's parent- 
age, and scrutinizing the state of his affeo- 
tions. To this Gatty yielded with rduc^ 
tance, and with many tears; for, though 
she could not tell why, the prospect of the 
future presented nothing to her ^ew but 
scenes of disa^ppointm^t and woe. 



OP WOMAN. 281 

The moming at length arrived, whieh 
vras spent in the bustle ef {preparing for 
their departiHre. Joseph waited both on 
M^Ion andh»3 cousin I>icld; theifinmerhe 
found booking, very iHl^ibiiit peici^vedv little 
difference in his^ mann^/iffrv dq^oi^tm^it. 
The latlier he found intent <^l^rr on one 
l^ing/ivMeh'had puzaded him &g<)od deal» 
It was what eould have beeome^el the two 
balls that Galium Gun and he had first fired 
at eadi other. They had proved- from the 
second fire, he said^ that they were not men 
likely to miss such good marks, and he was 
therefore full of a thecny that heseeoied to 
have been impatient to get eonnnunicated. 
" Whoy, it is my fixed opinion, cousin Joe,** 
said he, ** that the two bullets met each 
other full birr by the way, and smashed 
one another to pieces." Joseph laughed^ at 
the extravagance of the idea, but the laird 
persisted in it, and offered a bet, that if he 
were at the spot, he would find some atoms 
of the bdils lying right below where they 
struck each other. He made light of his 
wound, and seemed niuch more conc^med 



hm he ygfos to come on mth loa sweetheart. 
" Foe taHbii me» Joe»" aai4 het ^ if I has QQt 
promised to your father to marry my cousin 
Aggy ! But I have some douhts that she's 
ri&ther sleuder-waisted for me; and what 
have I doue, tbink'st thou? Whoy, it*s 
GviTod's truth, I hae promised to a lovely 
lass, a Miss Keatie M'Nab, that I will 
marry her ; and I promised to two of you 
Miss Moys, the chandler's daughters, you 
know, that we drank the toasted wine with, 
to marry them. Now, whidi of all these 
promises is the one that is to staled good, 
sutor me if I know !" 

Joseph kughed abundimtly at the ex* 
traoidiuary progress his cousin had made 
towards matrlinony in a time so short, and 
r^etted wceedingly that he was obliged 
to leave him, in conformity to his &th^s 
mandate ; for he added, that he did m% 
think there was any danger of the law ta*> 
king hold of them. Richard nev^ troubled 
Mmself with any fears about the foture* 
He had none. But he besought Joe to re>^ 
main with him, for he said he &ved be 



OF WOMAN. S83 

eould not do ^hoitt hna, and he was store 
that they would have fine sport oourting the 
lasses. Joseph promised soon to retnxn^ 
and took bis leave with great relnetaDoe^ 
for he perceived a boundless harvest of qsort 
before him ; but the hour approadied for the 
fly to run, and he was obhged to take hinv» 
self oflfl 

Catty's aonl yearned for a meeting with 
M*Ion before her departure, and she ap« 
plied to Mrs Johnson to bring it about. 
She thought if she eould but exehan^ 
looks or words with him before leaving town^ 
it would give some ease to her heart. But 
the nurse was cautious^ a&aid of exposing 
the youthful enthusiast^ and in her eaatioti 
she missed the effeet desired. She found 
M'lon much indisposed^ gloomy, and oast 
down ; for he still believed that Miss Bell 
was leaving town on account of a settled 
aversion that she entertained towards him» 
atid be received the intelHgeUQe of her im^ 
mediate departure with a hopeless apathy^ 
as a thbg he regretted, but could not cout 



fiai THE THBEE PERILS 

trol. When Gatty left her lodgings, she 
turned round, and, lifting up her beautiful 
face, fixed an earnest look on Melon's win- 
dows, until the tears blinded both eyes. Mrs 
Johnson seized her arm, led her to the coach, 
and seating her beside her father, took 
a kind adieu; and that night the family 
supped together at Bellsbumfoot. The 
mistress received her daughter rather cold- 
ly, hinting to her that she deemed she had 
pkyed thd truant; and likewise, that she 
tiever saw her look so well. Her first in- 
quiries were about her nephew Richard; 
for, since Mr Bell and he had set out toge- 
ther to Edinburgh, she had dreamed of no- 
thing but the match between him and her 
daughter, and greatly was she shocked at 
the dangers he had run with his foolish 
duelling. Her husband and son both spoke 
of her favourite in terms of approbation^ 
but all that she could get her daugh« 
ter to say about him was, ** Oh — Oh !" 
which threw a sore damp on her visions of 
affinity. 



OP WOMAN. 285 

In the meantime, the wounded duelli^ 
continued to get better^ but M'lon most 
slowly of either ; he had days and nights of 
utter oblivion ; indeed^ he seemed scarcely 
to retain any distinct recollection of late 
events on these occasions, although he was 
then most elevated in his spirits. Mrs John* 
son and Cherry were his daily visitors. Since 
the departure of Joseph and Gatty, they 
stood on no ceremony with him, but spent 
a part of every day and every evening in 
his room ; and he grew that he enjoyed no 
happiness without them. Cherry was de- 
lighted to do every little kind office for 
him that lay in her power; and, perceiving 
her obliging readiness, he employed her very 
often. Mrs Johnson sat with him for a 
while every day, when Cherry was out at- 
tending her masters; and during these 
friendly visits, she tried all her art to find 
out who were his parents and connexions; 
but with what effect, we must leave it to 
herself to describe. In the meantime, I 
have now the pleasure of presenting my 
readers with the original correspondence of 



B86 TH£ "TillieK BSblLS 

the paitties, lAsdi wbs ftxt Ibato my baiids 
by Mr Joseph Bell lasH; year; aM wbidi 
interested me so much, that, for t^e sake 
of introdaeisg it, I haT€ be^n at the pains 
to write this long alid circumstantial pre- 
lude. 



OF WOMAN. «87 



CIRCLE POURTH. 

" Bellsbuanfoot^ July 27. 
** Dear Mbs Johnson^ 
" I SHALL endeavour to begin the ful- 
filment of my promise of ivriting to you 
every week ^ but I fear that all my writing 
will only consist of making inquiries ; for$ 
alas ! I confess, to my shame^ that I have 
left my heart and my happiness with you. 
I never knew till now how deeply I was in 
love. It is become quite a disease with me, 
for I have no happiness in any thing in this 
world, save thinking about one person, and 
df all other things, the thoughts of him 
give me the most i^^^happiness. You may 
therefore conceive to what a miserable state 
of existence my folly has reduced me. I 
take my accustomed walks-— I look at the 
flowers— at the fountains— the snowy flocks. 



S8S THE THEEE PERILS 

and the shadows of the little clouds cfaa« 
sing each other over the sunny hills — But 
all to me has the same colour, and the sanie 
effect. I fix my eyes on them, it is true ; 
but am no more interested in them, than if 
I looked on vacancy. Then, of course, I 
come to many spots where he and I have 
sat together, when love was in the bud, and 
hope blossomed without any alloy. In these 
places I sit down and weep; and then I 
feel that I have no hope remaining, save 
what is placed in your kind heart and in- 
genious nature. Oh ! my dear friend, do 
not forget me ; for now that I haye dis- 
closed my weakness to you, I will hide no- 
thing ; the sole happiness of my life, and 
my Ufe itself, depend on the attainment of 
one object, and of course they now depend 
upon you. But if you can give me hope^ it 
is enough. I can live and luxuriate in that, 
and desire no higher bliss for the present. 

" Th^t day that I left you, I cannot de- 
scribe what I felt. From the time that I 
took my eyes away from a certain- window, 
I saw the ground no more, until you put 

20 



OF WOMAN. S»9 

me intOi tbe coaich. Our joumeyc' home is 
alblikeadream tome^ i semember^of bo» 
tlnng'fartlifir^ thm of once taking my &« 
tiler's arm in my bosom^ and leanmg on his 
sfaouldef^ wlule my thoughts ivseie. on a dif^ 
ferent ol]jject» I am sure, my dearest fidend^ 
that ydu will pity me, when I tell you» 
that I eannot find comfort even in reading 
my Bible* or in thinking of a future 8tate> 
to whieh comfort I every day endeavour 
to attain. When I think of the joys of 
Heaven, then my mind turns ou a certain 
comely mortal being ; and I feel as if, with- 
out his society, my happiness in any state 
would be all incomplete. This is a wo&l 
state to be in ; but it is past my remedy*- 
ing, and I have no one to look to for com- 
fort but to yourself. Therefore, I entreat 
of you not to forget me^^ul^ write, writer 
wiite ! not every week, but every post ; and 
if there be two posts in the day, take ad« 
vantage of them both. 

*^ Things are all going on here much vx 
the usual jog4rot way. Joseph i9fi8hi9g;jny 

^ VOL. I. N 



S9d THE THREE FJE^BILS 

Cadier working among his flocks fcom mom- 
ing till night, and my mother teazing me 
everlastingly with the qualificationis of my 
abominable new lover, cousin Dick ! Would 
that he had remained among his mosses and 
muirs, to have drunken smuggled whisky- 
punch, and railed against Simey Dodd of 
Ramshope, for being a richer man than he ! 
Compliments to cousin Cherry, and tell her 
to write to me, I hope her love is not of a 
very. deadly sort. Pray, does she ever re- 
mind her lover how well she likes him now ? 
I will send over little Jaggs to the post-o£* 
fice every day ; for mercy's sake do not let 
me look in vain for letters, but send some 
daily food for your affectionate 

" Agatha Bell/' 

" Dea&est Gatty^ 
'' I HAVE waited thus long, in ord^r that 
I might be able to inform you of something 
you did not know before. But hitherto I 
have waited in vain ; for no inquiries that 
I have been able to make, have had the 
least effect in drawing from M^IoiQi the ^r- 



OP WOMAN. 201 

eumst^oes of his birtb; ]^ate&ia^ymxd eo&* 
nexiOBs ; and I have stionger reafeous titan 
ever tor believing that he is an iiiipost<>r } 
therefore, I*haye never once attempted to 
sound the state of his affections, though I 
have often thought I would take him for 
(me in love, from a sort of mdlowness that 
prevails in all his words and sentiments^ 
He is, indeed, a most admirable youiig man. 
It is impossible to be near ^m, and not to 
love him. For my part, I have always loved 
him, and do so still, as he were my own childt 
Cherry is indefatigable in ber attentions 
and endeavours to please him, and he does 
seem pleased. Indeed^ if the thing were 
possible to be supposed, I could almost con-^ 
cdve he was begini)ing to love her. The 
downright artless simplicity of the little elf 
has a charm with it that cannot miss ma- 
king an impression on one of his fine feel- 
ings and precarious state of health. I think 
I could persuade him to come to the coun- 
try, but I have not yet tried my art. I 
find, however, that your &ther waited on 
him, unknown to me, hetxe he c^me away ; 

IS 



29S THE 7HRBB FEEILS 

took A kind hssm of bim, aadiinnled hasi 
to come to the coimtiy ms iwasal ; Imt he 
only thaa^ed him^ and made liim 110 posU 
ti^o' answer. 1 amxedfyxaaeemedalioiit 
tiie #tate yon ai^ein, but hope it .is aot so 
i^ a» you make it appear on papei^ I sm 
n^ rdaaoD, howeva*^ that you have for de- 
fl^x^encei I nex^r had a hand in the ma- 
king of a match, ^save in one that ought 
liewr tohave been: made,«whieh renders me 
both 'iM qualified and cautious in such matr 
ten. When I take into account your per* 
MtkBil charms, and othi^ good qualities^ 
which, parhapiE^ I estkmite too highly, I oaiif- 
not peredhre a difficulty in your obtsaining 
the hand and heart of your lov^r. But then 
your actions musi not be ruled by caprice, 
as^they have hith^to been^ in a wo&l de- 
gree. 

^^ I temasn yours, most affisettohately, 
** Agones JoHNsoK.'' 

^^ Bei.lsbitxxs'Oqs^ August g. 
-^ Yoir& letter has given me hx more 



<»" WOMAN. S9S 

piiiii tkaa pletsure; aad yetJ haFefdt a 
sort of animation since ireadingii»that I hare 
not experienced these many dajrs. What 
business has the little fccret Chmry to ^ 
eoaadng and toyingiwith a younggentlemaa 
«f fortnne like Mflon ? It is a tiotorbus 
sfaune to her, and; I wond^ how^^yon per^ 
ait it I have no donbt i)iit he^ nasesses 
and kisses heriin yonr absenee. : i am sure 
of it, for I once sarvr him kiss her cheek; 
and thevbnpesrtinent little hnssyy instead of 
resenting it, 8ftdo«m onihis knee^ Tiith Jier 
arm about >his neck, r This is a :thing that 
I cranot endnre. Ymi are not tosnffer hiaia 
to faH in: love iinth her. I eonld bear bxj 
tUsg bat this; I could bear his anger; 
nay, I could leiren like it much better than 
indifference. But were he toiall in love 
mth another, I could mft lire^ I would 
not bear life for (me week ;i therefore^ dear* 
est Mrs Johnson, dis^arge her £ram entec* 
ing his room, or seeing/him. It ir actually 
a red-burning shame^ &»r a giil in her teem, 
and so little a girl too, without eit^ for«> 



S94 THE THREE PERILS 

tune or qualifications, to be provoking peo<^ 
pie to fell in love with her. 

'^ You must excuse my impatience, Intt 
really you are managing every thing wrong, 
andyof course, not one of them right Why 
don't you persuade M'lon to come to the 
country without further dblay ? What have 
hia connexions ado with a visit to the coun^ 
try for his health ? I care little or nothing 
about his family conn^ons ; and he can 
never have a better excuse for retkement, 
than jiist now, when in lingering illness. 
Might not I tend him. as well a» Cherry ? 
Could not I bathe his aching temples as 
well as she ? and sing to him, . and play to 
him, which she. ciannot do ? Por my sake, 
then, dear nurse, send him out hith^ with 
the very next coach. 

'* Why have you both become so familiar 
with him after my departure ? Ought you 
not to have ke]^t up something of the same 
ceremony as before, for my sake? What 
must he think of poor Gatty, whose pride 
and aversion kept him from the society of 



OF WOMAN. 295 

bur deaiest fiiends, and whose absence now 
gives them all full liberty to dp as they 
fed inclined? When I think of this, I am 
quite overcome, and can write no farther, 
as you will see I have almost spoiled the 
letter with my tears. Father and mother 
send their kindest love, along with that of 
their hapless daughter, and your affection^ 
ate. .. 

" Agatha Bell." 

^^ EOINBUBGH, August 15. 

** My D£ab£st, dearest Gatty, 
^' I HAVE news to tell you that will make 
you wonder, and please you above all earth- 
ly things ; yes, indeed, they will. Oh, good* 
ness to the day ! How I would like to see 
you fidgetting and giggling when you read 
this* It comes to let you know, that I am 
going to be married the next week, or the 
beginning of the next again ; so you may 
come to tpwn as fast. as you can fly, for none 
other shall be my bride-maid, and draw my 
glove, but my dear cousin Gatty. There 
will be nobody to trouble you now with 



296 THE THREE PERILS 

their impertinent iD^rosions and languidb- 
ing lookis. I'm sure it will be such a rdief 
to you, and you will be so glad ! I would 
fain tell you all our courtship to amuse yoo, 
for I was not so easily courted as you may 
think. There was not a day on which he 
was not saying some things so kind and so 
affectionate to me, that they made my heaxt^ 
strings all to thrill and quiver; and at 
length he says to me one day, after I had 
bathed his wound, * My little sweet Cher- 
ry,* says he, * could you love a man who 
confessed to you that you were his second 
love ; that he had loved another better, but 
was slighted and disappointed ?' 

"I did not know what to say, for I found 
the tears coming itch— itching to my eyes ; 
and lest they should drown my answer al- 
t(^ether, I broke out with great violence, 
like a child who was about to be chastised, 
confessing her fault. ^ Yes, indeed, I could,' 
said I; f I could love some pec^le, if I were 
their twentieth love ; or indeed whether I 
bad any of their love or not.' 

<« < You are amost ingenuous and sweet 



^F WOMAN, . 897 

little ^V Chen^:/ jsaid h^ ; ' and Mthl 
am not ashamed to con&sa tbiit I tm m 
itove with you/ - 

** * I am very mttdi fdbfiged :*o yoii, sir/ 
says I ; ^ very much, indeed/ Jlnd £ made 
bim two low oourtesias, .and went backward 
toward the to&, tori ibund my knees h^ 
hf^wmg to strike, and! was afraid I would 
faU rbaok on the^oor, which might faaw 
been }tal(^n ?for a piece of bad breeding. 
Ilowemr^ I:made rto the €ofa» ao^d I saysi, 
* l!in very much obliged to you, sir^ but 
that's a thing will never do. I am but d 
poor dependant gir], without fortune^ and 
without a |nano, and have but a scanty edu- 
cation beside, so that I can never be the 
lady of such a gentlemw ; and if you were 
to love me any other way, you know, you 
might make me do thingS)that J.shQuJd not 
do/ 

*' ' Lord love you. Cherry !' said he ; * if 
I were to Ud you do any thing that you 
should not do, would you be so silly as tP 
comply?* 

" * I am amre I would,- says I ; ^ for thi^e 

N 2 



298 THE THREE PERILS 

I 

are some people to whom I could not ht ! 
my life refiise any thing.' 

" * Then, when I hid yovi do Eught that 
is inoonsistent with virtue and prudence> 
may I he d — — d. Cherry !' said he: 

'' My heart quaked at this, and I could 
make no answer ; but I fell a lacking at my 
little garnet ring, and looked at the knot 
on my shoe ; and so I never saw, and ncfver 
wist, till he was on the sofa beside me, and 
had me in his arms ; and then he gave me 
a kiss, and asked me if I w6uld>b£thts wife ; 
and I said I would with all my heart 

"*When? said he. 

** * Whenever you please, sir,Vsays I. 
^ To^morrowy or next week, or next year^ is 
all the same to me.' 

*' ' It is cruel in me to bestow a disap- 
pointed and forlorn heart on so much, in- 
nocence and kindness of nature,' said he» 
* But I will love you as I can. Cherry 5 ind 
I am sure that will always be better and 
better* I therefore offer you my handr and 
prbmise and engage, before our Mak<^, to 
make you my own married wife, i£ you Ure 



OP WOMAN. 299 

satisfied to take me as I am, and give me 
your hand in return for mine,' 

*' * That I will, sir,* says I, ' I will give 
you them both,, and my heart with them ;' 
and so I held out both my hands, which he 
took in his ; and it is all over wiUi your 
poor Cherry ! Now you must know, that he 
thinks the sooner t^e marriage ceremony is 
put by, the better ; and so do L But then 
I could not set the wedding-day unl41 I 
heard from you, to know when you could 
with certainty be in town to attend me, for 
I can do nothing without you. And I know 
you will be so happy to see me his bride, 
and to wish me joy as Mrs M^Ion, lady of 
Bordand. Do write directly, my dearest 
cousin, and believe me stiU your own 

" ClEiEBUBiNA Chalmers.** 

: When Gatty had finished reading this let- 
tar, she stood up like a frigid statue» It had 
all along half bewildered her senses; and< 
wiien she came to the name, Mrs M^Ion of 
Bovoland, at the end of it, she started up. 
like one waking out of a dream. That was. 



800 THE THBEE PEEILS 

a titleillie had often tried^ in ber own btetat^ 
as applicable to quite another parson than 
Uttle GheiTy,.herhal£4ei^i8edcoiism. At 
first she greir i»le» and^bnist into an hyste* 
ricallai^h; again the coUmr inounted to 
her faee^ and she rqieatal^ the title again 
and again, ** Mrs M^Ion, lady of Boxdiand! 
She Mrs M^Ion, hdy o£Boroh«Qd I And I 
her- maid ! minx ! hussy H^ut why shoidd 
I blame her? She has.but.dMie what I 
might to have donevknovring that truerlove 
is always diffident. J must foi^ve hav.' 
Forgii^.her ! Ho^ never ! The imp^tiamti 
low, intsaguingapey sb^ has been my undo^ 
h)g<^-*iny murderer ! O Lord ! taJce my life f 
take my life ! &r>this world and tfak. light 
are now hatefiil toimy si^. O let me die I 
let me die ! . JBut, then, let me die in pe«» 
with all this ungenerous world. -Nobody has 
wronged thee but thysdf,.poor Gatty ; and 
like a^flower on the fringe of cceation, thmi 
shalt be nipped, up, and cast aside to wither 
imd die, before thou arrivest at thy fidl 
Uossonu, O, kind Heaven, wilt .thfloi not 
pity me? Pity the most 'W]:etehed ereature 



OF WOMAN. 801 

itkat looks up to thee from this abode of 
imigeiy i Let me be^his, let me be his ! Hiit, 
hk ! His ovlkyp and wholly. Though neyer 
fio wxetdned^ietme^be but his, tQ live and 
die.iu his.arms^ aud share hii^ &te iu this; 
waaM «Bd the next ! Alas ! I:fear I am 
Uftgphemiug.^-^Lord, keep me from bla&- 
^mmg \ If I utter I know not what» thou 
wih not ky it to; my charge." 

All this time no tear came to give her 
heaxt«lief. She stood all alcme by the 
psrlour fiDBi for she always read her letters 
priirately ; and after these wild ejaculations^ 
she { essayed once more to read the letter^ 
hut her hand shook, and her eye was un-* 
stable. Some of the sentences, however^ I 
know not which they were, struck on the 
mazed senses with such force that they 
roused them into phrenzy. They were pro- 
bably those that alluded to his love for her ; 
finrahe lepeated, with great vdbemence, but 
quite inarticulately, " First love ! Second 
W ! First love ! slighted and disappoint- 
ed! Ghl^Qhr 

As 1^ cried tlmt^ she tore the letteri 



S02 THE THEES PERILS 

into a thousand pieces^ and threw it on tbe 
&e, pushing it down among the coals. till 
wholly consumed. Her loud screamsbrought 
her mother from the kitchen, who rushed 
in, scarcely in time to catch her in hef arms 
as she fell down in a swoon. The old lady 
laid W on a bed that was off the parlour. 
It was her husband's and her own; and 
with the most perfect composure of mind, 
bolted the parlour door, that she might not 
expose her child to the eyes of servants-; 
and with all assiduity set about revivii^ 
her herself. She had in her own youth been 
subject to such fits, and did not account 
much of them. It was not very long till 
she began to manifest signs of recovery, 
but she spoke in a manner so extravagant, 
about marriage, and death, and heaven, and 
dead*clothes, and a thousand things jum- 
bled t(^ether, that her mother still thought 
proper to keep all others at.a distance fir(»a. 
her. 

- In the meanwhile, Daniel had been bu- 
sied from the morning speaning his weddesD 
lambs, and buisting his erock ewes with a 



OF WOMAN. 308 

D axid a B on the near loin ; and being 
very much fatigued, he left the fold, and 
went into the house to get a drink of whisky 
and water. This beverage, of every-day use 
^tiood snugly in a wall-press in the parlour, 
to which Daniel knew the road so well, 
that he dbuld actually have gone straight 
to it at midnight, when the house was as 
dark as a pit ; and at all times, and all 
seasons, he had free access to it. But to 
Daniel's great consternation, he found that, 
for once, the circumstances of the case were 
altered. The parlour door was fast bolted, 
and no access for the thirsty goodman ! He 
knocked at it repeatedly, and called his 
wife and daughter's names ; but behold, 
there was no voice from within, and none 
that answered or regarded ! He next ap- 
plied to the housemaid, and that in a loud 
and agitated voice.— "Griz?sy ! hilloa, Griz- 
{By ! What's come o' your mistress, dame ?** 
" Aw fancy she's ben the house, sir." 
" Ye fancy she's ben the house, ye lee- 
ing tawpy ! she's no ben the hou$e, or dse^; 
she's faun wi' her heel in her neck." 



804 THE THREE PERILS 

Daniel went to &e door .onoe mote, an4 
Imeelhig down on one knee, he itriecl to 
peep ihrongfa the key-hole ; but the ke^ 
vms inside, and turned in the lock, so thast 
hecoidd scarcely see a glimmering of light ; 
he, however, sent his voice through it, there* 
with trying his wife by ev^ a|>pelktu)a, 
for he :W8s exoeedin^. thirty.; Jbut all 
would not do.-^'^ 31istress ! hiUoa, mis- 
tress ! : Mrs BeU. I say ! HiUoa ! Becka, 
Becka>S.ickleton! This is extraordinary! 
•^^Lass, ir ye sure your mistress is ben the 
house ?" 

" Ay, for oughts aw ken, sir^i^aum gayeu 
sure she is/' 

** Why, where is my daughter, then ?" 

*** She^s ben the house too, sir.'' 

** And what the devil are they doing 
ben the house wi' the doors steekit ?" 

** O, aw coudna say, sir. Aw fancy it?a 
some preevat bizziness. Miss Odtty's ta'en 
ill, or something." 

*• Ta'en ill ! How ? What ?— How d'ye 
ken she'^ ta'^n ill ?" 

" 'Cause I heard her crying." . 



OF WOMAN. 30({ 

** Crying ! — ^What was she jcrying ?'^ 

** She was skreighin like," 

Whoever has seen Henry Fuzeli's pic- 
ture of Satan from the first hook of Mil- 
ton, can conceive at once the manner in 
which old Daniel Bell drew himself up& 
His hands sprung upward at his whole anns^ 
length ahove his head, and his face lengths 
ened in proportion to the height of his 
frame. He then clasped his hands toge- 
ther, squeezing them down on his crown^ 
and puffing out his cheeks, like two great 
hlown crimson bladders ; he sought relief 
by blowing out his breath like a porpoise^ 
with a loud pougb ! One of the most un^ 
feasible ideas in the world had in a moment 
taken possession of honest Daniel's obtuse 
intellect. He conceived that his wife and 
daughter were at that very time engaged 
in making him a grandfather ; and turning 
round,, he made for the door, clapping hia 
hands with great force on the outdde of 
each thigh ; but as he passed the parlour 
door, he was arrested by his wife's voice, that 



306 THE THKEE PERILS 

said to him^ in an angry whisper through 
the door, " What noise is all that, Mr 
Bell ?— What is it you want ?" 
* " What is it I want ? — ^Why, I wanted 
a drink, mistress, that was all. And when 
you and your daughter hae ony unseen 
waric to work, I beg you will gang out o' 
my room wi't, and then bolt and bar as 
lang and as close as you like." 

^ 1 wish you would make less din, Mr 
Bell, and do not expose yoursel£ Our phild 
has been seized with a sudden illness, and 
I can't have her disturbed. But she will 
soon be better ; and then you can have your 
room as much as you please." 
^ Daniel would have taken to his bed tooj 
out of grief and vexation, could be have 
got to it, but that indulgence was denied 
him ; so he walked away mechanically to- 
ward the sheepfold again. When there^ he 
could transact no business, or went about 
it in a manner so singular, that his shqp- 
faerds thought him gone out of his right 
mind. . . 



OF WOMAN. 307 

" Look at this ewe, master. Will this 
ane be to gang for a crock ? She's a good 
lamb^bringer, and gangs in the Sheil-grain«» 
head?" 

" Ay, we have enew o* lamb-bringers 
foreby her. Let her gang." 

•* I*m sure ye'U never think o* pitting 
the crock buist on this ane, roaster ? Shels 
but a twinter ewe, and brought a lamb in 
a gimmer." 

•* Ay, ay, she has been a mother rather 
ower soon, like mony ane i' the warld. Let 
her gang to Kettlewall for her good man- 
ners.*' 

'' Dear master, an ye mak that a croek» 
ye may mak them a* crocks thegither. Ye 
hae nae as good a breeder in the hirsel.*' 
• ** Ay, vve hae plenty o' breeders foreby 
hier; mae than we want. Let her gang 
wi' the rest o* them." 

•^ I winna grip another sheep to yott^ 
D^aster. Ye hae ta'en some ill will at them 
^n' ye gaed into the house; An ye he 
gaun to pit away the tap o' the hirsel, in- 



808 THE TfiRES PERILS 

«tead 0* the tail, ye may get ony body to 
l^rd your ewes ye like for me^** 

'* I'm tired o' thae breeding ereattureft, 
Davie. They hae made the lambs ower 
dieap already, breed — ^breeding. . I shall 
thin them for ainee." 

** I winna grip another sheep t'ye, mas- 
ter ; fixt ye are just working wark that wU 
be a' to work ower f^ain, and pitting us 
into utter confasion." 

** Weel, weel, Davie, I daresay ye are 
speaking true. Draw them as ye like the 
night, and ni gang ower them again afbce 
they gang away. I hae ta'en an ill will at 
thae she tbingis, and wad rather hae a^t^ck 
d toops. Troth wad I — He, he, he !— I 
wad rather hae a stock o' toops.'* 

Daniel i^^ent and put on his ooal^ laugh- 
ing aU the way in a strange treble key» 
while at the same time the big tears wece 
coming hopping off at each sid^ of his 
nose. But he pretended to be laughing at 
the stoek of tops, till he got out of hear** 
ing, and then ho went away t<a^ ruminate by 



OP WOMAN, S09 

bimaelfy in a different direction fron) the 
house. 

Daj^ went to a little lonely crook on 
BeUdbfiirn-side, whiere he sat down and con^ 
rened with himself. He first cursed ftU 
Highlandmen^ then M'lon in particular ; 
and then he consulted with himself yih^t 
was to he his behaviour to his daughter. 
•* But what can I do ?" said he. ** What 
can a &ther do, but forgieihis erring bairn ? 
Ay, ay^I maun foxgie her, and I ni^ll for- 
gie her too. But He that kens the. heart, 
kenaweel, l^t, badit been his wil^ I would 
rather have laid hex head inithe grave a 
pwe and q)otlesB viigiii/ Had it been aae 
ordered, I wad never hae grumbled. But 
to think that my Giatty maun just be a 
lost woman ! Oh, thatisa hiurd thought !" 
As Daniel said this, he continued boring a 
hole HI the fiMss with his staff, in a s^w 
and melancholy manner ; but by degreea 
he began to strike his stiok into the moisji 
bank with quick violent thrusts, as profit 
pects more chemng began^ to open-qu hk 
mind's dull eye.^-^^* Hout na,** he conti* 



SIO THE THREE PERILS 

iiued» *^ she mannna be lost awthegither ;— » 
my bairn, and my only ae daughter, maun* 
na just be lost No, nor she sannna be 
lost dither!" cried Daniel aloud, striking 
his stick into the earth half way to the 
head, and springing to his feet. *^ 1*11 clap 
another thoosand pund to her tocher, and 
five years after this, she^ll no be a preen 
the waur ! But 111 stick the Highlandman ! 
That I will! I'll stick--«tick— stick the 
confounded fair-fashioned dog of a Hight 
landman!" 

And as he said this, he stabbed the air* 
with great violence, and ran forward, as if 
pursuing a Highlandman, and sticking him 
through the heart. He went straight home 
in perfect peace with his daughter. What 
more could Daniel have effected at the very 
first trial? 

By that time J)^. mother had administer- 
ed some composing draughts to her^ which 
had the effect of calming her spirits^ so 
that she listened to reaison, and ceased her 
ravings. Danid durst Hot knock at the 



OF WOMAN. ail 

padour door, so he went straight into the 
kitchen ; and when there, he durst not so 
much as ask for his daughter, therefore he 
began to seold the maid for having put too 
many peats to the fire, and for burning an 
ehn dog that might have been of some use. 

** Awm soor aw coodna hae putten't to 
a betterx ooss nor boiling your tey-<kettle. 
Ye hae muckle to fly te about." 

^ A' alike ! a' alike ! The hale tott o' 
tixe she creiatiures maun hae their ain way, 
and a bonny hand they make o-t. But I'll 
tell ye what. Mispress Gnzzy, if ye be gaun 
to waste things that gate, Pll soon set ye 
about your business." 

" Well, aw think the sbooner the better. 
But that's joost the gate poor fock's guidit 
Ye winna gie me elding to bum, an' how 
can aw nfak fock's meat wi' naething ?*' r 

" No raise a fire out o' naething; ye 
jattd ? Be my troth can ye ! Ye can raise 
a fire o' ill nature— out o' less than nae- 
thing. But take the stick, and nae mair 
about it. It is quite true, ye canna make 



SIS TH£ THREE P£BILS 

0a meat mthout a &re. Hj^h-how, sirs ! 
Fock axe nuekle to be pitied !" 

'' Mr Bell, what is all this quarrelliiig 
aad nidse about?" said his dame, as. she 
walked into the kitchen with stately o(»^ 
posaie. ** You may come into the parlour, 
if you please, and take a drink." 

Daniel pursed up his mouth, and looked 
her fiill in the &ce* He was not sure how 
it would become him to accept of the invi- 
tation. He felt a powerful delicacy in the 
matter; and after exhibiting a ludicrous 
countoianee for a fall minute, without stir- 
nng, he put the following unfatherly and 
home question : — ** Is the woman better?'' 

^ Come and see," stid Mrs Bell, and led 
the way with a proud and stately demea- 
nour. Danid followed, grumbling some 
words half into himself, and was going to 
take up his birth at the parlour fire, when 
the dame going into the little bed-room, 
turned back and beckoned to him, saying, 
*' Are you not coming in to c^peak to her, 
sir?" 



OF WOMAN. SIS 

• ** Is the fiay ower ?'* said Daniel^ hesi- 
lating, and clinging rather closer to the 
eMmney frame. 

^ O yes, I am better now/* said Gatty 
in a weak and tremulous voice. •^ You may 
eome in and see me, father.'' 

** H'mph ?* said Daniel, grunting a loud 
and most eloquent exclamation, without 
opening his mouth—- *^^ H'mph ! Lost nae 
time either. Weel, weel, be thankfu' that 
your sins are no visited cm ye as they might 
hae been ;'' and, uttering these emphatic 
words, Daniel strode into the chamber with 
his jaws fallen down, and his mouth form- 
ed into a round hole, as if it had been bored 
with a wimble; he was breathing short, 
and his eyes were rolling in his head. His 
spouse accosted him with some common, 
place observation, but these were not^the 
Mrt of words that Daniel expected, and be 
heard them not. There was a pillow lying 
on the bed-stock, on which Gatty had been 
leaning, and this honest Daniel took for a 
ppor little grandchild just come into the 

VOL. I. o 



S14 THE THRE£ PERILS 

world, and well rolled up in clean linens; 
SO/ fixing an unstable eye on it, his. he«t 
immediately began to warm towards €hfe 
blameless and unwelcome guest. His fin- 
gers began to spread out toward it, althougli 
his arms still clung to his sides, while Ms 
big jolly frame was all moving with agi- 
tation. Gatty chanced to utter a slight 
tremulous sound in clearing her Yoiee to 
speak. Daniel started so sore, that he al- 
most jumped to the c^ling of the room, 
thinking it was the bantling, setting u^a 
cry. 

" What's here?" said the dame. " I 
think the family is all grown nervish at 
once." 

*^ Oh, oh ! it is a sad business this, my 
iiaim,'' said Daniel. *^ But what is done 
cannot be undone ; therefore, come to my 
arms, p6or bit little helpless thing, thou 
saunna remain long' unblessed of Grod and 
man." So saying, he seized the pillow with 
both hands in the gentlest manner, in or- 
' der to Hft it t^i^^is bosom ; behold it was 



OF WOMAN. 813 

as light as vamty, and had neither head 
mr foot, a mouth to kiss, nor an eye to 
Qfien. He flung it from him into the bade 
of the bed. " Poogh !" said Daniel, with 
terrible force, and rubbed his hands against 
his sides. ^^ H'mph ! I thought it was the 
creature.'* 

The women were petrified. Gatty scream- 
edy and Mrs Bell held up her hands ; then 
taking his shoulder, and turuing him about 
to the light, she said, *^ I say, what has pos- 
sessed you, Mr Bell ? Have yon been drink- 
ing yourself drunk, with your shepherds, 
and now come here to play the fool ? I want 
to consult you about our daughter's case, 
which I fear is a bad one." 

^ Bad euough, in all conscience T' said 
Daniel. ^^ Suffering unda: the effects of a 
promise of marriage, I'se warrant." 

^\ Howeyer that may be," said Mrs Bell, 
'^ I want her to tell us the whole, plain, 
and simple truth." 

" O, certainly ! The plain truth !" said 
Daniel. 'Mt signifies nought QonceaHag 
the truth now." 



316 THE THBEE PERILS 

^^ Because^ from what has taken pkee 
to-night/' rejoined the lady, " I can pw- 
ceive, that both her conatitntioaii and chanu> 
ter stand in the most imminent dang^." 

" H'mph! character?" exclaimed Da- 
niel. '^ I think you may set your heart at 
rest about that." 

^^ You are mistabo^" said tfa^ dame; 
^' the purest virgin on eairth, and I am sure 
there is none more delicately pure than (»ir 
child, shall not escape censure if she——-" 

'^ What !" cried Daniel, interrupting 
her, ^' is my Gatty really an unblemishad 
and pure maiden ? As pure and innocent 
as when she used to sit on my knee, and 
hang about my neck ?^ 

^* Where exists the debased mind that 
dares suppose ought to the contrary ?" said 
the lady, proudly, ** or the profane tongue 
that dares so much, as mince at a meaning 
so fer out of x^haracter ?" 

Daniel capered out of the room, singing 

the reel of Tullochgorum, and snapping his 

ftagers.totfae tune. When he had gone over 

* the first part of the tune in that style, he 



OF WOMAN. 317 

^;aatce«l the H^hland fling to tiie seeond 
yv^t, leaping, wheding, and singing, with 
ffS*9A Tigouri-~ 

, <^ trmti-titmti-eideBp^dee, 
Umti-itamti^ umti-tumti/' &c. 

Surprised as the ladies were At the pil- 
k>w seene, they were ten times more ap- 
palled at the extravagance ^f Mr BelTs be- 
hadour now, with the xeel of TuUochgo- 
ruiii ; and thejr hoth with one voice pro- 
lOOUXkeed him to be bewitched. To their 
3eyes> he appeared precisely as if labouring 
nndcor the e£5sct6 of enchantment ; they had 
never seen him affected in the same man- 
nlBT H^fore, and they were both petrified with 
astonishment. 

** What has come over you, Mr Bell ?" 
md the lady ; '* have you made yourself 
drunk at the fold?" 

** Drunk, mistress !" qded Daniel ; " I 
hae nae tastod aught stronger than xaw 
whey thii^ day. But 1% gae back to the 
fauld again — I think Davie Shiel and X 



319 THE XHRBE PEKILS 

will 'gree better about drawifig tbe em^ 
now. — ^I hardly like the she-creatures sfte 
ill as I did, and I winna despise a breedsug 
gimmer, after a', mistress — a body may be 
mistaken about them, ye ken- Grifczy !" 
cried he, as he went by the kitchen— 
*' Grizzy, ye thrawn, ill-natured, fiery di»* 
gon ! — ^tak a* the sticks about the town, and 
bum them ; and gin they winna tire ye o" 
muckle fires, d — ^n ye, set the peat-stack in 
a lowe, and rin through the reek !" 

" Hech, wow, sirs ! aw wonder what's i' 
the wund now?" quoth Grizzy.—" Aw wuss 
focks wad keep some kind o' mids, an' no 
blawtt^ away into 'stremities. — Little wutt 
V the pow bauds the caunnle to the lowe." 

Davie Shiel was still busy sorting the 
ewes as well as he was able> when he behdd 
his master coming towards him with long 
strides. " Od, yonder he's again!" said 
Davie ; " if he be nae better tuned than he 
was afore, he'll spoil my hirsel." 

But Daniel had no sooner opened his 
mouth, than his shepherd's confidence in 
his master returned, and the two went on 



OF^W0MAN. 819 

Ute dock-work, seleeting tike draughts of 
tke season,— *saye that, in place of being for 
tiiem all away, Daniel could scarcely be 
induced to part with any of them. 

^ That's bat a singit-looking jaud, mas- 
ter,'' said Davie ; ^* I think ye should be 
letting her gae her ways — she's really no 
a gude sheep." 

•* Hout ! she'll grow better, Davie,'* re- 
tomed he ; ** I like a good breeder. — Site 
brought me a good toop lamb." 

*^ But see, master, here's a toop-eild ewe. 
Ye maun put this ane away." 

'^ Ah, na, na, Davie, lad ! — I like a toop- 
eild creature, an' canna bide to part wi' that 
ane." 

" Ye like them a* now thegither, and yet 
it's no sae lang sin' ye coudna bide ane o' 
them," said Davie, scratching his head. — 
" I wish fock wadna just rin to extremi- 
ties." 

" 'Stremities again !" said Daniel — *' nae- 
thing but rebuffs gaun ! — ^But, Davie, it is 
weel kend ye are as good a judge o' the 
lasses as the crock ewes, ony day ; an' ye may 



320 THE.THHEE PEBILS 

let a man hae his humoum^ that s^&sjtlMim 
only at his ain expense." 

The sheep-fold husiness then went onvi^ 
well, till its conclusion. 
. When Daniel returned home, a different 
^d more interesting scene was going on 
m the parlour. Jaggs had hrought two 
letters from the post-office, beside the one 
from Cherry, which had affected her in- 
t«ded bride-maid so deeply. One of tb^ie 
was to Joseph, requesting his immediate 
attendance in Edinburgh^ and was couched 
in these words; — 

^ Cousin Joe, 
^^ Things are coming to a point with me, 
i?o you must come here, or else they will 
come to thee* As I told you, I hare rashly 
made three promises of marriage, (foreby 
that to your sister, which was four, and two 
others at home, that are not claimed.) But 
here the people look sharply about them, 
and words will not pass for wind, although 
they are little else ; — ^therefore the beauti* 
fid Kate M*Nab, and the two Miss Moys, 



OF WOMAlff. 321 

all claim me for tbeir man, and threaten the 
law. I have some strong proofis against the 
iatterof extraordinary freedom of behaviour, 
going even the length of drinking and sleep- 
ing with sundry gentlemen. I never pre- 
tend to like a woman much the worse of 
this last, for I think it a quality bespeak- 
ing much kindness of heart, and I count 
tibem the best judges of such things them- 
selver; but I do not like women that%ll 
lliemselves drunk with plotty wine, and take 
one name to one man, and another name to 
another ; so I'll not have any of them, if I 
can help it, and I do not see bow the law 
can oblige me to marry three. I am not 
afraid of cousin Aggy claiming, but terrified 
for my uncle and aunt ; so, dear Joe, you 
must bring me off there ^ for I am deter- 
mined to marry the lovely and loving Miss 
M*Nab. For all the money and all the 
beauty that she has, she needs no courting, 
and has never needed any, but jeers me with 
a kind of melancholy good humour every 
day for not marrying her. Now, this cast 
of melancholy about her, that she is con- 
02 



832 THE "THEEE PERILS 

stantly trying to overcomey is occasioned by 
love, — and how can I but adore her ? She 
has made me deed myself anew, and she 
walks the Prince's Street every day with me, 
and my wounded arm in a sling, which is 
quite the fashion here, and has more effect 
with the ladies than all things else ih tfad 
world. I think she makes rather too great 
a show of her affection for me, but> as it i# 
alFout of true love, I like her the better — • 
what can I do ? In truth, I shall soon^bc^ 
a married man ; but, if you do not come to 
me, I shall to a certainty be getting into 
more scrapes ; and, though you will be the 
last man that will try to keep me out of 
them, yet, when I have you with me/ the 
more the better, — which is all jfrom 
" Your most obedient servant, 

" Rich. Rickleton." 

The other letter was to Miss Bell ; but 
she had thrust it into her pocket on open- 
ing Cherry's, and from the perplexity into 
which that had thrown her, she had quite 
forgot it; Her motha: had been teasing 



OF WOMAN. t!^ 

Iier for an explanation of sozdo sentences 
sbe had uttered when in extremity, and 
ultimately for a perusal of the letter that 
had occasioned them, until at length Cat- 
ty yielded, and, putting her hand reluc- 
tantly into her pocket to deliver to her mo- 
ther Cherry's letter, quite forgetting that 
she had burnt it, ^e took out the follow- 
ing, which she put into her hand. Her 
mother read it aloud, and tlie interest with 
which the daughter listened to it j^ay wdl 
be conceived. 

" Edinbuegh, August 16. 
" My dearest Child, 
" I have news to send you of no ordinary 
interest, and news that I hope will make 
you and me happy togeiixet as long as we 
live — ^news, such as never were related by 
one friend to another, so singular in their 
cfierations have the events been, and so de- 
monstrative of anover-rulingProvidencepre- 
luding in the affairs of men. Your lover's ge- 
nealogy is now no longer doubtful — ^the his- 
tory of hi^ birth and conneidons has be^ 



324 THE THEEE FJSRILS 

laid open to me in tfa£ fidiast mani^r ; but I 
must give you it in his own words, else it oaii^ 
notinterast you as it has interested me. I bid 
given him hint after hint about it, all on your 
accoi}nt/till at length he felt that he lay un- 
der some restraint with me ; and yesterday, 
being confined to his bed by a giddiness, 
proceeding firom the effects of the wound he 
received in the head, I thought proper to 
attend him almost the whole day; and 
Cherryibeing out in the evening, I made 
tea for him. I can never since remember 
what I was saying to him at the time— -it 
might be something about his kindred, but 
I do not think it was ; however, I know it 
was something in which I felt interested ; 
it, however, vanished from my memory, ne- 
ver to be recalled, as he took my h^id in 
his, and said*^ 

" * My dear Mrs Johnson, you have ta- 
ken such an interest in me from the day 
that we were first acquainted, and have h&m 
m kind to me, that I. feel I owe you more 
than any common acknowledgment can le- 
pay. You have ao often made inquiries at 



or WOMAN. 325 

xx^ about my parents^ I am ashamed that I 
have never let you know all about them 
that I know myself, which is but very little. 
My mother I never beheld, and dl that 
ever I heard of her was from my nurse, who 
was devoted to my father's house, and of 
eourse my mother's enemy. My father, it 
seems, made some improper connexion in 
Ms youth, while attending the university 
and the courts of law in this city. Impro- 
per it must have been, as it displeased his 
parents, and was the cause of many heart- 
burnings and grievous misfortunes. Ac- 
cording to my nurse's edition of the stoiy, 
he seduced the daughter of a decayed gen- 
tleman by a sham marriage, and of that 
marriage I was the fruit. My grandfather, 
being the head of an old family, and chief 
of a once powerful clan, was highly iiadig- 
nant at this connexion. He recalled his 
son instantly from Edinburgh, and, in a 
ctxcle of his proud relations, stated the dis- 
grace that he had brought on his &mily and 
dan, and commanded him peremptorily to 
renounce his leman, on pain of being disin-* 



326: THE THBE1S FEOtlLS 

herited of two properties, his father's own, 
and his father's brother's, to bodi of whom 
my father was the heir. Ere ever they gav€ 
him time to answer for himself, my grand* 
&ther farther stated to him, that he had 
pocured him a high commission in the 
army, near the person of the British com* 
mander himself, and that his services were 
required without any delay. This was what 
my father had all his life desired ; and, on 
his father promising to provide &r his mis* 
tress till hi» return, which he did with great 
readiness, my father went on board, and 
joined the army on a foreign station. 

*^ ^ I suspect there was some foul play 
going about this time ; for, three years after 
that, my father returned on a furlough, and 
there was a fierce quarrel between the old 
chief and him about his mistress. It was 
reported to him that she had deserted bar 
colours, and gone off with another lover, but 
he received the report with disdain ; how^ 
ever, all his art had been unable to discover 
her retreat. I remember of seeing my &* 
ther at that time, and of being delighted 



OFWQMAK, 327 

with the grand plumes oa his boimet, and 
also something of his kissing me, and weep* 
ing over me, when he took his leave. My 
mirse said he left me his most fervent bless* 
ing, and hoped I would live to atone for his 
compelled unkindness to my mother. He 
went away the second time, and perished in 
that cursed expedition, in which so many 
gallant British lives were sacrificed to no 
purpose. Often have I shed tears over the 
list of the dead in which his dear name oc* 
curs ; — and that is all that I know, or ever 
knew, about my parents. 

" * My grandfather's second son was then 
declared the heir of the family inheritance ; 
Imt my father had seen and conversed with 
his uncle during the time of his furlough in 
the Highlands, and nothing could move 
that worthy man to join his estate with that 
of my grandfather. — He settled it on me, 
and declared me the rightful heir of thewhole 
of both properties, and the chief of the clan. 
Mygrandfatherwasdteadfullynettledatthis 
proceeding of his brother's, and so also was 
his son^ the present chief ; aiid tibey so ma^ 



S28 THE THKEE PERILS 

naged matters as to get a decreet of bas- 
tardy made out against me in the Court of 
Session, and a prohibition from assuming 
the family name.' 

** At this piece of information, my dear 
Gatty, my head fell a-swimming, my heart 
beat as if it would have broken through its 
frail tenement, and every part of my whole 
body quivered and creptwith a nameless sen^ 
sation. Oh, my dear child, I can never ex- 
press to you the feelings of that moment, nei- 
ther by word nor writing, were I to aim at 
nothing further all my life ; but resolving to 
contain ihyself, and act like a rational crea- 
ture, I brought all my powers to the test, 
and for that moment succeeded. 

*^ ^ Was M*Ion not your father's name ?' 
said I, with a voice so faltering, that it 
amazed him, and he looked in my face^ as 
if afraid I was taken ill. 

" * No, indeed, it was not,' said he ; * my 
name is a patronymic taken from the names 
of both my father and mother.' 

" This answer threw a chillness over my 
whole frame ; it was; the diillness of death 



OF WOMAN. 329 

--"^tfae cUsa^oiBtnient of all my most ardent 
and newly-kindled hopes, and I had just 
strength to utter two or three profound 
sighs, for my heart stood still. May you 
fiever experience such a feeling all your life 
as I did at that moment, my dearest Catty ! 
for woman's frame is scarcely equal to the 
task. 

" * What is the matter with you, Mrs 
Johnson ?' said he. 

" * Nothing-^nothing in the world, sir,' 
answered L * But— but^— What was I 
about to ask ?-~Ay, it was. What is the 
signification of your name, sir ?— of your 
present name, fiir-^f that name, Mac- 
Mac-— M'lon ? — I want to know what is 
the meaning of that name, sir ?' I asked 
the question in this way, and much worse, 
for I durst not let the question run to an 
end, for fear of hearing the answer. 

" He answered, with the greatest com- 
posure, * It signifies the son ofJohny ma'am, 
or John's son — it is the same name with 
your own. — ^What, my dear friend — what 
is the matter with you ?' 



8S0 THE THEEE PERILS 

" Well might htl put this question^ fer X 
had started to my feet, and uttered a scream- 
BO piercing, that he thought me gone dis^ 
tracted ; and besides, I stood orer him wiA 
my arms stretched out at full length, so that 
he held up his in order to prerent me from 
&lling on him. 

" * And your father's name was John 

M* ?• said I, naming his family name, 

though I am compelled, on liis acooimt, to 
write it a blank at present. 

* ■ * It was indeed, ma'am,* was the reply ; 
and that moment I had him in my arms, 
weeping over him with inexpressible joy, and 
repeating two short words, which I did an 
hundred times. These were, /My son! my 
SON !' 

*^ Oh, dearest, dearest Gatty ! rejoice and 
exult with me, and think if ever there was 
so happy a mother. I have indeed found 
my son ! — my kind, my grateful, my beau- 
tiful son !—so accomplished, so amiable, so 
much of all I could wish a man, and a high- 
bom gentleman, to be ! But he is not with- 
out ambition, my Gatty, How his eyes 



OF WOMAN. Sftl 

glistened with joy wlien I told him I was 
in possession of all the documents and proo& 
of his father's marriage to me, which was 
regular in every respect. 

'^ ^ Then am I the chief o£ my family 
and kinsfolk/ said he; ^ and I would not 
change birthrights with the first noUemaa 
of the realm ; and how delightful to owe all 
this to my. mother — and to such a mother !* 

^^ He then folded me in his arms, and 
I cannot tell you all the kind and filial ex- 
pressions that he used toward me ; but I 
am the happiest woman in this state of 
^cistence. I am actually overpowered and 
drunken with joy. It is too transcendent 
to last ; but the will of Heaven be done. 
The great controller of human actions, who 
brought a deserted and disowned wife and 
mother, and her only son together, in a 
way so singular, and dependent on so many 
casualties, will order all things aright in 
our future destinies, and to his mighty 
hand I leave the events that are wisely hid 
from our eyes. 



8»2 THE THIIEE PERILS 

" From that time we have only been 
asunder while we slept, and no one yet 
knows of our relationship. I have kept that 
a secret, that I might disdose it first to my 
other dear chfld, who I know will enjoy 
the happy discovery next to myself, if not 
in a superior degree. Every thing shall 
^o now as we would have it, for my influ* 
enoe with him is supreme, and you shall 
now be both my children ; and she that 
•was the delight and solace of my widow- 
hood, nay days of desertion, shall be the 
stay and support of my old age, and the 
mother of mighty diief% to whom the ho- 
mage of clans and kindreds shall be grate- 
fully yielded. R^oice with me, my dear 
Gatty, and thank Heavm for all its boun- 
ties to your poor old nurse. You shall heai: 
from me perhaps by next post, as soon as I 
have consulted him about the srtate of his 
affecticms; but of that I have no manner 
of dread. 

** Yours ever, &c. 

« Agnes M* " 



OF WOMAN. 333 

'* By my troth, my woman/' quoth Da- 
niel, when his wife had finished, "that is 
siccan a letter as I never heard. Our worthy 
fiiend is now a great lady ! My certy ! 
Weel, I dinna ken o* ane that hetter de- 
serves sic a turn o' fortune. And our daugh* 
ter is likely to he a great Highland lady 
too ; indeed I dinna see how she can miss ; 
and I think it will he a better speculation, 
after a*, than Mrs Rickleton of Burlhope ; 
for ye see, by way o' tocher good, I shall 
double Melon's yearly income to him.*' 

" Now, dear £stther, how iis it possible 
you can do that?" said Oatty, who was 
quite delighted with the extraordinary news. 
*^ His uncle's estate, the estate of Boro* 
land alone, I have heard say, is worth four 
thousand a-year; and the great estate of 
M*— — must be worth six times that 
sum." 

•• And were it six times six I would 
double it, daughter," said he. " Hae ye 
nae doubts o' that." 

" You are getting into your ravings 
again, Mr Bell," siud his dame. " Be so 

12 



334 THE THREE PERILS 

good as explain your meaning, for it is a 
paradox to me." 

" It's nae docks ava, mistress," said Da- 
niel. " It isna the land that pays rent to 
the laird ; it is the farmer o' the land ; and 
I'll wager a' I'm worth, that 111 gar a breed 
o' toops double, if no triple, the value of ony 
Highland property that's farmed in the 
auld way. Gude help me ! If ye saw siccan 
creatures as they send down to Yorkshire ! 
sheep that I wadna kick out o' my gate, wi' 
pin tails, faces like foomarts, and a' kiver- 
ed wi' hair, like the breeks o' gaits. I hae 
selled my ewes at three times the price, 
again and again ; and wasna that doubling 
the laird's income ? The breed o' my toop 
Duff, in the country of the M*Ions, wad 
be worth twice his weight in goud. And 
though I say't mysel, I'm the only man 
that could double sic a gentleman's income. 
I'll no even except Mat Culley himsel." 

This dissertation on, the breeds of sheep 
proving a great bore to the two ladies, as 
it is indeed to eveiry body beside, they took 
an opportunity of slipping up stairs to con- 



OF WOMAN. 335 

suit on matters more congenial to their san- 
guine minds. In the meantime, old Da* 
niel put hoth his hands in his waistcoat 
pockets, set his hat up upon his crown be- 
hind, with the fore part of the rim drawn over 
his eyes, and went out to the large field 
behind the house, to look at his tups, and 
select those he meant to send to the High-- 
lands. There is no life so easy as that of a 
sheep farmer, but there is none so mono- 
tonous. No stirring, no animation ; but the 
same routine from day to day, and from 
year to year ; looking at tups ; taking a 
glass of toddy ; talking of rents, dogs, an^, 
shepherds; buttoning and unbuttoning; 
lying down in bed, and rismg up again, 
from generation to generation. There is 
more interest excited by farming seven acres 
of arable land, sown with various crops of 
grain, than seventeen hundred of pasture 
land on both sides of the Border. 



END OP VOLUME FIRST. 



EdiNBUBOH : 

Printed by James Ballantjme and Co.